…to ask what to do about my former employer trying to ruin my life any way they can for their own amusement?

[Renegader]

Hi MNers,

Unfortunately back in September I was dismissed from my job due to failure of probation. This was the next working day after I took a few hours off which I requested TOIL to go the vet to seek an update on the cat I rescued from outside my workplace. My manager whom was very controlling and acted angrily to any kind of challenging of his ‘authority’ used this as a reason to fail my probation and dismiss me immediately. I sought legal advice and was told as I was in probation there’s not much I can do, even though I wasn’t even on a warning nor did I commit any kind of misconduct.

My weasel of a manager calls me after the charity manager dismisses me saying he was having a stressful day and didn’t think his boss would actually fire me even though he blew the cat situation out of proportion and knows she is very harsh. He said to give him as a reference for any future jobs and that he is so sorry about everything, so that’s what I did.

Fast forward to today and I get an email from a job I was due to start in a few weeks saying they are withdrawing the job offer as my former manager would only provide a basic reference thus raising a red flag for them. This was when he said he would give me a positive reference. I was good at my job and my clients I supported were very happy with me.

I have been in tears for most of the day, feeling completely powerless and hopeless about my future. Am I going to be blacklisted from this sector because I did a good deed and stood my ground about it? I need a job, this cat is expensive and I feel like my former manager and employer are trying to ruin my life. Because of their inept Payroll team I am also having my Universal Credit slashed by 20% as my employer took a Direct Earnings Attachment from my salary for a previous DWP advance then appear to not have actually sent the monies to HMRC as DWP told me they have no record of it despite the deductions being on my payslips. So, in conclusion, they sabotaged my employment with them, my benefits whilst out of work and now my future employment prospects. The most laughable thing is they are supposed to be a mental health charity but are doing everything in their power to push me to despair! Any advice on how to overcome this would be much appreciated, thanks in advance.

Actions have consequences.
It’s called ‘accountability’.

Why shouldn’t a future employer know the truth to support their recruitment decisions?

I sent a Teams message half an hour before saying I really needed TOIL to sort out the cat situation. I got no response then when I returned to my desk later on after the vet visit I got an email stating it was refused.

Leaving work mid-shift is something you request and await a response on.

You didn't - you told them you were leaving then left without anyone's approval, for a clearly non-emergency situation. Many on probation would be out the door for such behaviour.

You've also mentioned a few weeks sick leave in 7 months. If you were off for 3 weeks as an example, that's roughly 10% absence by my calculations...that's HUGE for a new role that you're still within your probationary period.

Many references come in a standard format now and often request information on absence levels. This is likely to scupper you time and time again...just leave the whole mess off your CV op.

Unless you read and absorb what people are saying op and accept that your old employer had very valid reasons for letting you go, this is an experience that may well be repeated for you again and again.

How much time had you already spent on this cat op?

Also, is your ocd diagnosed?

I think both of these are relevant to your dismissal.

but they are not trying to ruin your life op. You need to dial down that persecution complex a bit.

Don't think anybody is a dumbass how fucking rude.
It isn't that the OP took an afternoon off. It is the fact that she gave only 30 minutes notice and then went any without a reply. Most employers are happy to accommodate an afternoon off they just want more notice.

😆

Most people would and should be … teachers, doctors, nurses etc can’t just decide I need to leave right now and too bad if my employer hasn’t approved it. Can you imagine the reaction if a teacher walked out of her classroom to check in a cat!! Especially when the issue is checking a stray cat!! If I asked my employer for TOIL to go to a vet to check on a stray cat it would be denied and I’ve been in my job for years.

I can't get my head round basic reference being a red flag for new company. It's the norm, standard.

It doesn't matter what another manager may have authorised, if this was a unfair situation you escalate to their manager or follow the relevant complaints procedure. Being fired or not given a positive reference after you left work unapproved for something that wasn't life or death or even an emergency doesn’t mean they're out to get you and you're not making your situation better by not taking responsibility for your actions. Most managers would fire you for what you did, not getting through probation is never going to look good. If they were honest about why you failed probation then most employers wouldn't want to employ you. No one is saying you deserve to never be employed again, but you are achieving nothing acting like them being honest over this is them trying to sabotage you. You'd be better off posting in the work section asking how to deal best with the current situation so you can get a new job, not going off about an employer who fired you for a completely justified reason.

I did have a few weeks sick leave spread across the 7 months so I accept this was an issue

OP was on probation. This latest cat incident sounds like it was the final straw. She also cited lots of reasons from her side why it wasn't good fit and she had a lot of issues with the place and people. So ultimately it's best that she's out of there.

OP, my main takeaway here is that you're not very well and everything is framed through your illness whether it's anxiety or OCD, from the plight of this cat to the paranoia about your career sabotage. Try to focus on getting help for that rather than feeding this feeling of persecution about the manager. Until you find ways to get your thinking in check, things will spiral. It's good that you're on a waiting list but don't just wait. There are good books and online resources which will help and as you've worked in the sector you just be aware of how to access other support. When you're out the other side of this you'll be able to see that this wasn't a good time for you and things got warped and out of perspective, but right now it's hard to hear and easier to fixate on this manager having it in for you, which will only exacerbate your 'devastation'. Take care and get yourself well again.

I did have a few weeks sick leave spread across the 7 months

A few weeks leave within probation. They were looking for a reason to fire you and you gave them one.

Basic references are completely standard. Just look for other jobs.

Wrt the deductions you should be able to get them on that they need to pay the bill or return your money they don't get to keep that

I rather suspect that there's a bigger picture here than one afternoon. The OP has mentioned already having quite a bit of absence and a few personal problems during the time they worked there. The work culture and atmosphere doesn't sound great, but OP also sounds hard work to manage. It is hard work when you've got someone in your team who is off a lot, always has lots of personal stuff going on that gets in the way of work, and needs a lot of input. As a manager, you help and support, it's your job, but it can be really draining..

OP also says they worked there 7 months and were still in probation. Granted, in some senior roles and settings probation can be up to a year. But unusual in the charity sector for it to run more than 6 months so I'm guessing it had already been extended.

Work life balance is absolutely a thing, but the word "balance" exists in that sentence and I'm guessing here that OP's employer didn't think the balance was in their favour. They may well not be a good employer and OP may be well out of there, but IME decent employers have their limits as well. I wouldn't keep a staff member on past probation who is proven not to be reliable, as that type of thing only tends to get worse, not better, once they pass probation and feel safer in the job.

Your time does 'literally belong to your employer' if it is your working hours. They are paying you for your time.
Dumb indeed.

Hardly 'ruining your life' is he

I am surprised that a basic reference is a red flag, as others have mentioned it is standard, something I think does not help anyone. I'd like to see the law changed so unless in defined circumstances you could not be sued for what you put in a reference.

I'm not sure there is anything you can do unfortunately.

"I did have a few weeks sick leave spread across the 7 months so I accept this was an issue but I never even got a warning or had a formal meeting about it."

No warning or meeting required. Many employers would have released you at the end of probation for such high sickness absence, probably without giving it a second thought.

You took TOIL that wasn’t granted. I’m not sure what you expected?

The basic reference thing is normal.

Im sorry OP but you need to sort yourself out because your replies on here aren’t helping your cause.

They sound very unprofessional. However you did not have to go to the vet to check on the cat's progress, you coufd have rung them.

I am sorry you lost the job. Just leave a gap in your cv, lots of people have time out to do other things. Try to find a job with a more professional set up and properly trained staff.

Hi
Imo taking unauthorized time off is reasonable cause for dismissal. The cat reason, I think you could have dealt with this other ways. Refusing your time owing request? Should have been raised as a grievance rather than just leaving.

Taking money from your wages and not passing it on, needs dealing with but maybe I'm misunderstanding that part.

I wouldn't include this employer in your CV or job history, and while I'm not suggesting dishonesty is appropriate, I'd probably say something like I was caring for a relative/starting an internet business/having a career break to account for the time.

Deffo consider some work on your MH.

Basic references are really common - but so are follow-up phone calls to get more information. There’s nothing underhand about that, it’s good hiring practice to actually talk to someone who has worked with that person.

Unfortunately, even if he said you were brilliant at your job and had excellent relationships with all of your clients, if they asked him questions around sick leave and why you left, and he answered those honestly (as he should), that’d make you too much of a risk for most other businesses.

Some will either not do the call, or take the risk. Keep applying. They’re not trying to ruin your life, but this is a learning curve. I can understand that you thought you were doing the right thing; but it wasn’t.

During working hours, your time does literally belong to your employer.

If a request for toil was refused you can't just leave anyway without consequences.

Taking personal time with out permission is a sackable offence, in your probation period you have no employment protection. To give a basic reference they were obviously unhappy with your performance. It's not personal and it is something you are accountable for.

Going forward you could leave this job off your CV. Or ask a different staff member to be a reference.

I thought basic reference was quite common (although I work in public sector). The safeguarding comment is ridiculous as they will do a dbs if needed and if there was any safeguarding risks in your previous role it would have been a police matter. Safeguarding is not relevant to a reference.

If the OP went missing during the working day without approval, and is meant to be supporting clients with mental health issues I can see how this could be a potential safeguarding concern. What if the OP was answering the phone for any potential clients who needs the service but the OP decides that her need (ie the cat) was more important. The manager hadn't approved it therefore couldn't arrange cover etc. I know that'd not what happened but you could see how an prospective employer might view this as been a potential risk to occur again and if it's the mental health charity sector you work in.

Contact your previous employers HR department and explain the situation that it's cost you a job etc. if there policy Is to only give basic references ask them to contact your potential new employer.