…to ask what to do about my former employer trying to ruin my life any way they can for their own amusement?

[Renegader]

Hi MNers,

Unfortunately back in September I was dismissed from my job due to failure of probation. This was the next working day after I took a few hours off which I requested TOIL to go the vet to seek an update on the cat I rescued from outside my workplace. My manager whom was very controlling and acted angrily to any kind of challenging of his ‘authority’ used this as a reason to fail my probation and dismiss me immediately. I sought legal advice and was told as I was in probation there’s not much I can do, even though I wasn’t even on a warning nor did I commit any kind of misconduct.

My weasel of a manager calls me after the charity manager dismisses me saying he was having a stressful day and didn’t think his boss would actually fire me even though he blew the cat situation out of proportion and knows she is very harsh. He said to give him as a reference for any future jobs and that he is so sorry about everything, so that’s what I did.

Fast forward to today and I get an email from a job I was due to start in a few weeks saying they are withdrawing the job offer as my former manager would only provide a basic reference thus raising a red flag for them. This was when he said he would give me a positive reference. I was good at my job and my clients I supported were very happy with me.

I have been in tears for most of the day, feeling completely powerless and hopeless about my future. Am I going to be blacklisted from this sector because I did a good deed and stood my ground about it? I need a job, this cat is expensive and I feel like my former manager and employer are trying to ruin my life. Because of their inept Payroll team I am also having my Universal Credit slashed by 20% as my employer took a Direct Earnings Attachment from my salary for a previous DWP advance then appear to not have actually sent the monies to HMRC as DWP told me they have no record of it despite the deductions being on my payslips. So, in conclusion, they sabotaged my employment with them, my benefits whilst out of work and now my future employment prospects. The most laughable thing is they are supposed to be a mental health charity but are doing everything in their power to push me to despair! Any advice on how to overcome this would be much appreciated, thanks in advance.

I did nothing wrong in terms of misconduct. Yes, I stood my ground and did the ethical thing in terms of rescuing an animal that staff and service users alike were concerned about and took unauthorised TOIL but people do far worse.

My employer dismissed me without warning, gave me no right of appeal, did not even tell me the meeting on the day could result in sanctions up to and including dismissal, scheduled me to work 9am-7pm all week one week without even asking if I was okay to. They did so much wrong but no one is bothered about that because they’re the employer and I’m just a lowly employee (well, ex-employee now).

Aw come on! I think people would like to hear if you understand your accountability in this? Understand you didn't behave professionally and brought this on yourself?

Surely you can't ignore dozens of lovely women trying go explain to you that this happened because of your actions??
You are going to have a very difficult life if you do these kind of things then think it's everyone's fault.

Why are you emailing thier funding bodies, that's insane, no one in the funding bodies cares one bit about a job offer that was withdrawn. The people who work in them funding bodies will think the same as every other single person who has tried to get through to you here and you will give them clear evidence of why they shouldn't employ you by emailing them with your rant.

Sounds harsh but I would be very worried if I had to use mental health services and you were the person who was supposed to be there to help me.

Please use your time more wisely, go for a walk, a swim, read a self help book, your spiraling and only you can get yourself back to a healthy place, a good job and happy life.

I thought basic references were standard now. I’m surprised employers even bother asking for them, although I suppose it confirms you did work there.

You're literally making up your own employment law rules.
No one is under any obligation to give you a warning, a right to appeal or a warning on the day.
You are in probation, you haven't been employed for 2 years.
You're making yourself look very silly now and risking any future prospects of being employed in a similar role locally. Seriously go have a cup of tea and take a breath.

But surely you wouldn't want them to give a more detailed reference IN YOUR CASE as then they'd be obliged to reveal all the negatives. However they frame it, you're taken loads of time off and walked out on the job without permission etc etc. They can't give detail that would get you the job.

I did nothing wrong in terms of misconduct.

You took time off work that you had asked for and it was denied. I don't know what's going on in your head that you think that's not misconduct?!?!

They didn’t need to give you a right to appeal.

YOU TOOK TOIL WITHOUT PERMISSION. GOING AWOL IS MISCONDUCT.

They are not an animal charity and did not have to support you supporting a stray cat!

Honestly, you’re fucked (technical term) if you don’t work out that this was YOUR FAULT.

I am now emailing all their funding bodies and Trustees as it’s disgraceful.

This is 100% you actively sabotaging your own career. Nothing good will come from this and you will be the only party you harm.

You have refused to take on board anything that you are being told. You absolutely are guilty of misconduct . Not even for the time you took to actually rescue the cat and take it to the vet, but for asking for TOiL with 30 mins notice and taking it anyway. Not for an emergency but to go to the vet to see how the cat was a task you could have easily done from your desk using your phone. You can email who you like but you will effectively end your career , certainly within that sector. Nobody is going to react to your email other than to laugh at you and tell their contacts not to go anywhere near you.

If you email finders and Trustees you really are sabotaging yourself. Surely you can see word will get around and no-one will want to employ you.

You're continuing to make bad decisions and blaming everyone else. Can you see that this is a pattern? I would focus on figuring out why you're intent on ruining things for yourself.

This was a clear case of misconduct. Sorry you lost your job. You need to move on and find something else.

OP it's clearly been a trying time for you.

But please take on board what others are saying to just move on. Writing to trustees will do NOTHING good for you - even if your claims were valid, which they are not. You are actively sabotaging your future if you do because this sort of thing does get around, it will hugely impact your future career in the industry.

Not only because you'll be known as 'that' person who put in malicious complaints, but also because it only proves - you are someone who goes AWOL, you are someone who cannot understand simple employment law when it's explained to you, and you are someone who, when in the wrong, doubles down on being in the wrong! That is a far worse reputation to carry with you than just not being able to get more than a basic reference.

I'd consider taking a step back from the working world entirely until you have a bit more perspective and understand what has actually happened here. You don't sound well.

You had more sick leave in your 7 month probationary period than I've had in my entire working life of about 30 years. If there are underlying issues I wish you all the best in seeing an improvement in your health but as a manager, I would seize any opportunity to let you go, and you handed it to them on a plate.

Hope the next job is better for you.

Bizarre. I think you’d get further if you explained the situation to the more employer, apologise and say you’ve learnt from it.

Emailing all those people honestly makes you look mental, you are single handedly ruining any potential career you may have.

So if your previous employer had given a detailed reference, what they would have said is @Renegader took a number of weeks off sick during her probation, and took unauthorised time off. Whilst she was here, her work was good, however, she appears to have lots of personal issues and didn’t get on with her manager.
As a prospective employer, I wouldn’t touch you with a bargepole.

Ime most employers (including very large companies) only give basic factual references now to avoid any issues, so I’m very surprised a job offer would be withdrawn due to this.

You’re obviously upset that this incident is impacting future employment but it’s very unlikely to be deliberate.
Hang in there OP , keep applying for jobs and remember next time to be really careful about following the rules so things go more smoothly for you.

Honestly I think you should stop wasting a single minute on this employer issue and push hard to find another job

theres nothing you can do that will benefit you than aggressively searching for a job and being honest if this comes up again. Do not defend going AWOL, show you can see why it was an issue and it won’t reoccur.

Also I know you might find it harsh, but if you’re working for a charity where users rely on your service, then I find it understandable they didn’t want to keep you on, and you need to see that too.

The stray cat issue could have been dealt with someone else, but you chose to take responsibility and it became the priority over work. It was unwise.

Needless to say I know it looks bleak right now but there is a way out - you either have to be honest and remorseful going forward, look at another industry or keep that off your CV. You can simply say you were caring for someone.

You seem to have twisted events in your mind to make your employer at fault, not yourself. You did not go AWOL to save a cat, the cat was safe at the vet's and you just wanted an update on it.

Most likely you were let go for a combination of things including excessive time off in seven months and your attitude to your manager.

If you're still reading, OP, I would step away from this thread now. It's very easy to get caught up in online arguments and they only make you feel worse about yourself and your situation. I think what many are trying to say, is that we have all been you at some point - relatively inexperienced, made a mistake, don't believe it was a mistake/that our treatment was fair - and the only thing to do is move forward.

Stop dwelling on this. @CoralOP gave you a very balanced view, which I think you should take on board rather than continuing to feel angry about what your ex employer may or may not have said or done. You made a simple mistake taking time off before waiting for it to be authorised. You'll know not to do that next time. As many others have said, it is standard now (and has been for 20 years in many industries) to give a factual reference only, for the precise reason that anything additional can come back and bite the ex employer on the arse. If a particular company want a personal reference, accept they're not the company for you right now (that doesn't mean never, but you need to build up more of an employment history), or ask if they'll accept references from a uni tutor, landlord, manager from your job before your last one etc. This setback does not mean you will never get another job or will never work in your chosen industry.

You mentioned you had received other job offers, which you turned down while waiting to start with the company that has now rescinded their offer. Go back to the other companies that offered you a job and ask if they are still looking. It takes a lot to swallow your pride to do that, but what have you got to lose?

To be honest OP, you sound ridiculous and really jaded.

I remember in my first ever job I did some unprofessional things like this. For example I remember doing a ridiculous shift like 11am-midnight without a lunch break as we were understaffed. I then had to come in the next day at 7am, where my supervisor was being annoying. They were taking ages to authorise a transaction on the till whilst I was dealing with someone irate shouting at me, and then my supervisor snapped at me throughout the day as they were stressed. My lunch was also late again as no one to cover. So instead of just taking an hour lunch, I ended up travelling home in a “fuck this” outburst and then sheepishly returned. I think I was like 30 minutes late returning. No one said anything to me but it was noticed.

I can 100% look back at that and see it was wrong regardless of how jaded I felt. I can also look back and see it isn’t a massive deal. The fact you keep bending over to justify something stupid, to the extent of emailing trustees and shareholders, is ridiculous. You need to be in damage control mode, not revenge mode, as you’re only hurting yourself. Frankly your actions don’t come across as those of a mental health professional(?)

If you have vulnerable friends and family, I’m pretty sure you’ll want the employers of the people that work with them/care for them to have been vetted a bit more thoroughly than that.
(as covered previously in the thread).

Quite. I don't provide detailed references for our ex-staff. I just confirm how long someone worked for me. I don't even take references now unless the recruitment agent offers them, as I prefer to make my own judgement. So many people just give a basic reference, that you have to do that anyway. A business that turns down an employee based on receiving a basic reference only isn't somewhere I'd want to work anyway - if they can't make a judgement based on the interview process, they probably are not very good at managing people either when you're in the role.

OP as many will say, you don't have to give their name as a referenee. You can keep the role on your CV but provide different referees.

If they say they want the latest employer, just state "I would prefer to use a referee from an earlier role. You will note that I wasn't in this role for very long, which should reflect more on them as an employer, than me as an employee. I can, however provide references from X and Y jobs, as well as a character reference from Z."

OP if you took half the amount of energy you're expending on a hopeless cause that was your own fault you'd have another job offer by now.

I originally thought perhaps the shock of the news from the job offer had been the reason but it clearly is a character issue.

It really is becoming borderline pathetic how blind you are to what you've done wrong here (purposefully ignoring helpful advice or any acceptance of blame only coming back to paint yourself as a victim again) I suggest taking a step away and reassess some of the helpful advice you've gotten here in a few days when you have a level head, if that time ever does come.