…to ask what to do about my former employer trying to ruin my life any way they can for their own amusement?

[Renegader]

Hi MNers,

Unfortunately back in September I was dismissed from my job due to failure of probation. This was the next working day after I took a few hours off which I requested TOIL to go the vet to seek an update on the cat I rescued from outside my workplace. My manager whom was very controlling and acted angrily to any kind of challenging of his ‘authority’ used this as a reason to fail my probation and dismiss me immediately. I sought legal advice and was told as I was in probation there’s not much I can do, even though I wasn’t even on a warning nor did I commit any kind of misconduct.

My weasel of a manager calls me after the charity manager dismisses me saying he was having a stressful day and didn’t think his boss would actually fire me even though he blew the cat situation out of proportion and knows she is very harsh. He said to give him as a reference for any future jobs and that he is so sorry about everything, so that’s what I did.

Fast forward to today and I get an email from a job I was due to start in a few weeks saying they are withdrawing the job offer as my former manager would only provide a basic reference thus raising a red flag for them. This was when he said he would give me a positive reference. I was good at my job and my clients I supported were very happy with me.

I have been in tears for most of the day, feeling completely powerless and hopeless about my future. Am I going to be blacklisted from this sector because I did a good deed and stood my ground about it? I need a job, this cat is expensive and I feel like my former manager and employer are trying to ruin my life. Because of their inept Payroll team I am also having my Universal Credit slashed by 20% as my employer took a Direct Earnings Attachment from my salary for a previous DWP advance then appear to not have actually sent the monies to HMRC as DWP told me they have no record of it despite the deductions being on my payslips. So, in conclusion, they sabotaged my employment with them, my benefits whilst out of work and now my future employment prospects. The most laughable thing is they are supposed to be a mental health charity but are doing everything in their power to push me to despair! Any advice on how to overcome this would be much appreciated, thanks in advance.

So you’ve just lost your job over this cat. This cat is expensive and adding to your financial stresses.

I mean maybe you just…don’t let this cat ruin your life?

Whether you agree with why I needed TOIL or not, it is wrong that my employer are still trying to sabotage my future employment just because of ego or to make a point

Jeez you're over dramatic. Between this & the thread title.

That's not what's happening. Your ex employer has, as about a dozen folk have already said, given a standard reference. For some reason the other employer seems to want more. The issue is with them if it's with anyone.

Your previous employer isn't sabotaging anything

And to be honest if the new place is seeing a bog standard reference as a “safeguarding issue” then I wouldn’t want to work for them anyway.

Something else to consider is your TOIL. Was the hours officially banked? In lots of workplaces, there is an expectation to complete work within the agreed hours. Regularly working additional hours can be a sign that either the employee has too much work or isn't managing their workload. It would be usual for the employee and line manager to discuss it. From the pov of the employer, an excess of additional hours to be taken back can be a red flag in itself.

This is a good point. And coupled with the 'few weeks off', it makes me wonder if it wasn't so much that you'd done lots of extra hours so we're owed TOIL, but maybe you weren't managing to get all your work done as you'd been off so much. That may not be the case, but it's an odd combination to be off so much and yet still have time owed during probation. All adds to the picture of this not being the right workplace for you anyway. I also agree that if the new co asked virtually any further questions about your reasons for leaving, your manager wouldn't be able to impart that info positively regardless of ego. The bottom line is that you were let go because of your own actions, so better to own that, get help with your MH and start over, not including this role on your cv.

please read the posts about safer recruitment.

I’m pretty sure you don’t want an unreliable nurse or carer with professional incompetencies looking after you and your loved ones.

Fair enough. I did not see it and I shall retract my comment.

Is anyone else thinking the new company have dodged a bullet, retracting the job offer?

out of interest, how does safer recruitment sit alongside disability discrimination laws? What if someone isn’t suitable for a role because of a disability that they have eg OCD

It's tricky but not impossible. For example you would need someone who can walk to be a labourer, so it's not discrimination to not employ a wheelchair user.

In this case, an employee needs stable MH to work with other people's MH issues. E.g. you can't have a therapist who gets upset inappropriately if a client is displaying MH caused behaviour. The therapist is there to hold the client's issues and not react except in a compassionate way. All therapists have supervision which is a form of therapy for themselves to support their MH when they are dealing with difficult issues with clients.

I can't comment on the OP but it is not discrimination to check that a future employee will be able to cope with the mental load of dealing with clients who have MH issues. You can't mess up the clients even more with an employee who can't cope.

I think in basic terms the employer seen you as too much drama and couldn’t in all good faith recommend you to a future employer. You took weeks off within a 7 month period - that is way higher than the average amount of sickness, so the leaving without express permission is probably just the final straw.

I honestly don’t think you sound very stable.
Your thought processes are all over the place and you’re making a lot of damaging decisions for you and your career. I hope you can access the health services you need.

I'm concerned about advising the OP to miss the employment off her CV because her P45 will have the record of her former employer.

Better to go for a role that doesn't require safer recruitment and will accept a basic reference.

She can complete a new starter form instead of handing in a P45.

the bigger risk is that the new employer finds out about the missing job and then sacks the OP for lying. So I wouldn’t advise that it’s left off either.

Since she never got past probation I'd not see it as a permanent role so could cover that period with a brief temporary roles type heading on cv.

Agree it was daft to take the time anyway when the request had been refused & you could have phoned... but that aside

It's unusual for organisation not to stick to factual references these days. He's overstepped the mark in saying he declined to give a reference in such a way that the new job offer has been withdrawn.
How large was the charity - do they have an HR team rather than giving the line manager as a referee in future?
I once had a similar situation - local council has a 'back into employment' team, a friend worked as an employment coach for them, and wrote to the former employer on my behalf.
Didn't happen again, Manager was sacked.
Does your council have a similar scheme?

Get anything as soon as you can - is it too late for Christmas Supermarket jobs? Means the role isn't the last on your CV (or as others have said, leave it off your CV)

Approach HR/Payroll about the attachment of earnings.

Good luck.

"You go to work, arrive and leave on time. Dress and behave appropriately. Your boss is not your mum. Don't tell them all your personal details.
Why does a boss of such a short period know you have debt and all the other personal things about your life?
Save it for friends and family."

These are very wise words OP and also just common sense!
You failed your probation no doubt due to excessive absences and for going AWOL.
Your old manager is not trying to sabotage your career. They are simply answering future employers' questions honestly.
Time to grow up and behave appropriately at work.

OP, I hope you've learnt about you're own unacceptable behaviour from this thread. Taking unapproved leave, a few weeks sick leave within in the space of 7 months and challenging your line managers authority, all within your probation period, would have gotten you sacked from most jobs. You cannot behave like this in the work place. You really need to learn from this or you're going to find yourself in the same position again in the future.

Factual references are really normal, it's not a vendetta. I'm sorry you didn't get the new job, I know how disappointing that can be. When you're job hunting don't put all your eggs in one basket, keep looking, keep applying, even if one of them is looking like sure thing, until you have a signed contract anything can happen.

I would have fired you for the "few weeks off sick" within 7 months, never mind going AWOL to visit a cat!

In my decades in management in large companies, I've never seen anyone who behaves like that in their probation period go on to be anything but an absolute nightmare employee.

It's usually quite tricky to identify bad employees early on as they're on their best behaviour during probation, but you handed yourself over on a plate to get fired.

I have worked in the charity sector for many years.

I have seen a lot of people work for charities they care about but who mistakenly believe the cause will make the organisation kinder to their needs. The organisation see their primary duty of care as being to their clients. Going AWOL is a safeguarding concern if you were on duty and clients could have been contacting you. The organisation would have seen the impact of you prioritising your own mental health issues over that of clients. That is a safeguarding concern.

With kindness, it's common for people with their own issues to be drawn to support work, but it may be that you're not ready for it yet.

Thanks for all your replies today everyone, even if you disagree with me I still appreciate you all taking the time to help.

Someone asked about the cat and I will need to create another thread about this but he bites a lot for no reason and today I was ambushed by him particularly badly and got several cuts to both legs as I was wearing my three-quarter length pyjamas at the time. The cat’s unpredictable behaviour is definitely adding to my poor mental health to be honest as I had a cat for 18 years previously, my childhood pet, and he was the sweetest cat ever, totally different to the one I rescued.

I think the poster earlier was joking about the cat having ruined your life far more than the manager, but actually I think it's true. From the moment you got enmeshed with this cat, which was simply 'hanging around', not had an accident or anything that demanded your involvement, things have gone to shit. I'd seriously reconsider keeping it. Get it to a rescue and save your money, time and energy for sorting yourself out. It's suddenly become your focus when that's really the last thing you need.

(and of course it's totally different to your sweet cat. all cats are different. that's why people put a lot of thought into getting them and don't tend to acquire a pet the way you have here, at both personal and financial expense)

In some sectors even a basic reference has to say there were no safeguarding concerns, without that assurance another employer won’t take them on. So this is potentially a big deal and would raise it with them.

I can't believe after reading all the latest really helpful, knowledgeable replies from everyone I get to the update from the OP and the only response given is about how the cat is doing, I'm out.

The latest update is my new employer won’t change their position, the offer remains withdrawn, they said to me that the manager of the charity, my previous employer, specifically told them they wouldn’t provide a more detailed reference in MY CASE and did not say it was their general rule and that is why the new employer withdrew the offer. I am now emailing all their funding bodies and Trustees as it’s disgraceful.

Interesting. Not interested in working in that industry again then? Cos this will absolutely get around.

YOU DID WRONG. You need to be accountable for that. And learn from it.