Aibu to only want DD to participate in one showing of the school nativity??

[HulaHoopz]

DD is in Year one. School nativity is on twice in the day, once in the day and once after school. Separated from DDs dad not sure he'll even attend as he usually doesn't bother to attend school events.

DD has another performance the following week for her drama club and has to attend all rehearsals up to the show. If she participates in evening show of school nativity then she'll miss the last rehearsal before the show.

Its not unreasonable for me to say to school she can't do the later showing? I feel unreasonable and I don't know why.. its probably because if her dad did come it would always be the evening performance as he'd never take time off. We have very little communication and school won't communication anything extra outside what they already do.

I also do prioritise her after school activities as she enjoys them so much.

DD wants to attend her rehearsal and is happy only participating in one showing.

Its ok isn't it? I'm not depriving her am I??

I’m surprised they do evening actually. My little one was in reception last year and they did one morning and one afternoon and they were all exhausted for the afternoon one- lots of yawing etc. I think mine would struggle with an evening performance and i think you would have some drop-outs anyway. I’d do the rehearsal in your situation @HulaHoopz

I’m in 2 minds. Being at school and performing in the evening is so exciting at her age, are you sure she won’t be missing out?

But if you feel the other rehearsal is more important, I can see your point.

It’s terribly sad to see you say she hates her dad. No 6 year old should be hating anyone.

Not how it works

I guess it’s a bit unfair because what if all the kids did that? You won’t be the only parent who can only view it once. Also isn’t it all part of the fun, doing a later performance? And practising drama skills/performing?

Shame for the kids whose parent can get there during school time.

When you tell him she's in the earlier showing, no need to mention the after school one. Keep it as a reminder that DD is in daytime nativity show on x date and drama show on y date if he wants to see her perform.

I know people in similar situation to you, its not your responsibility to make him step up and be a good dad. He can open the email from the school and ask you why she isn't in the after school show if he planned to attend (and you know he won't have), at which point you say she's in final rehearsal for her drama show.

If she is one of a group of singers then I think it is fine. If she was Mary then that would be different!

If the only issue is 1 out of 4 of the showings, why is she going to miss 3 of them?!

if she didn’t want to do it she shouldn’t have done it at all, not just drop out of most of the showings because “reasons”

YABU

I concur with this. Too often mums are treated as the sec secretary for their exes.

Mine got the same communication and yet made a parents evening or sports day or anything yet constantly demanded to be in the know. Got to the point a judge said no. No school communication - do it yesterday.

He can organise himself.

Sorry - what happens if all the singers decide not to take part. She is a member of the school and she should be there.

There's always going to be someone who can't make it.

What about parents who work 12-9 and can't make an afternoon or evening performance?

Well, that's what happens when you arrange things for out of school hours - people will have other commitments.

Then it doesn't happen.
That's not the OPs problem.

The fact your daughter doesn't have a major role, I would inform the school given the evening performance is outwith school hours your daughter (illness accepted) has to attend her drama club if she wants to remain in the show. I'm sure the school would admire her dedication to out of school activities.

@HulaHoopz youve already made your mind up, seems like you asked a forum to just argue with everyone that disagrees.

Sorry - what happens if all the singers decide not to take part. She is a member of the school and she should be there

Loads of kids drop out.

Lots of reasons and nobody really minds.

So what’s best for you.

Sorry - what happens if all the singers decide not to take part. She is a member of the school and she should be there
then they should do it in school hours , they cannot make the children stay after school .

I think you should be prepared for the school to want your DD in both or none of the nativity performances. Don't leave it beyond Monday to tell the school though.

Skip it if you want. The teachers though will never pick her for a key role. They need reliable children to play those.

Neither of mine attended evening performances in KS1 as they were too late for them and would have made them too tired the next day. The sky didn't fall in.

So long as she isn’t playing an important part.

This kind of attitude makes teacher’s jobs harder. If they didn’t put on plays there would be parents that complain. If they were only in the day, working parents couldn’t attend.

We had a parent who said the family going on holiday for one of the performances so child wasn’t given a critical part. She then complained that child didn’t have the starring role! Can’t win.

DDs school does an evening carol concert (only 1 evening performance). Roughly half the kids showed up last year.

Agreed. But if it clashes with her last rehearsal before her drama performance then I can see why you'd prioritise that.

Couldn't you text her dad and say she's only going to be in the daytime one, to at least give him the option?