Aibu to only want DD to participate in one showing of the school nativity??

[HulaHoopz]

DD is in Year one. School nativity is on twice in the day, once in the day and once after school. Separated from DDs dad not sure he'll even attend as he usually doesn't bother to attend school events.

DD has another performance the following week for her drama club and has to attend all rehearsals up to the show. If she participates in evening show of school nativity then she'll miss the last rehearsal before the show.

Its not unreasonable for me to say to school she can't do the later showing? I feel unreasonable and I don't know why.. its probably because if her dad did come it would always be the evening performance as he'd never take time off. We have very little communication and school won't communication anything extra outside what they already do.

I also do prioritise her after school activities as she enjoys them so much.

DD wants to attend her rehearsal and is happy only participating in one showing.

Its ok isn't it? I'm not depriving her am I??

Who would play her role? It’s not like they will have an under study. What would happen if all parents withdrew their child from the showing they were not watching?

Does she have a solo speech or song? If she's only part of a choir ok, but not otherwise really.

DD's primary school were pretty flexible around this as long as you're a sheep or something crowd based!

I think she needs to do the school play - it’s the actual performance and not a rehearsal so should come first.

Also, they won’t be able to do the play if lots of people decide to skip it for convenience- meaning all the working parents don’t get to see the play. If one can miss it, anyone who doesn’t feel like coming out in the evening can.

It depends on what she is. Crowd, chorus or similar it's fine. If she's playing Mary it's unreasonable.

It's after school, I doubt she'll be the only one who has something else on. My DD has swimming lessons after school one day a week for example - she really enjoys them (and they're expensive!) so if she wasn't fussed about a school play I'd take her swimming.

Unless she's playing a lead role, it really doesn't matter! She's six ffs.

There are 2 Mary’s in my kids nativity play, they will say their lines together 😵‍💫

I never take my kids to the evening performances, it's too difficult for me to organise. I'm not the only one either.

Just tell the teacher beforehand.

Sorry to add. Its only singing. It's a combined play with another year group..the other year group have the speaking parts. Her year group are just singing.

Depends, if she's tree number 3 then fine, if she's the angel Gabriel then no.

I'm assuming here that this isn't something she specially signed up for and therefore committed to doing. Just a whole class thing.

So basically you could be depriving her DF of the opportunity to watch her? If she did miss it, and he wanted to watch her in the daytime, how would you feel about that?

Villager number 6 = fine. Mary/Angel Gabriel/ Narrator = not fine.

If she does have a bigger part, you could ask the school to swap her to villager number 6 and just have her do the afternoon

Not such a big deal if only singing I guess.

Singing, meh

Is it okay if 75% of year one don’t participate in the showing you’re going to. Leaving the remaining children anxious and parents pissed off.

Your communication with the father is your responsibility not schools.

Don’t prioritise after school clubs over school just because you have unresolved spite toward child’s father and can control after school more.

These things are a group bonding experience for children don’t try to sway these things, your child will miss out on the long run.

If it's a main role then it would have been better to pull her out of that part so they could give the part to someone who can do both showings.

If it's a minor role where she won't be missed then it shouldn't matter.

However even schools don't have time to rehearse the same play with different children when they are playing a main role.

Edit: Actually thinking about it further it would be unreasonable even if it's a minor role. Imagine if everyone else started pulling out of the play because it's inconvenient.

Perhaps the school should adjust the timings of the show to one in the morning and one in the afternoon instead of after school.

YANBU.
There's a hundred reasons why parents can't accommodate after school showings.
This isn't a club or event that you willingly signed up to or committed to.
It would be unreasonable for them to even try to enforce it (which they can't do)

And for those who said what happens if everyone does it? Simple, there's no evening performance.

Oh, it's fine. It's just a primary school nativity, it's not the bloody Oscar winning stage show posters are trying to make it out to be, lol.

Does she want to do it? I know one of my DDs would have been devastated if she had to miss out but the other one would have been really happy.
To be honest though I wouldn't have pulled either of them out, I would have felt I was letting the rest of the class down.

Wow. Projection much.
No. Communication with her father on school events is not my responsibility at all. I am not his secretary.

I think it is unreasonable - what if every parent only set their child for the performance they wanted to see? It just wouldn't work.

It's always the same entitled parents in our school who do this.

I find it incredibly selfish - for the other children. It's once a bloody year. They can just miss dance/swimming whatever once surely?

I fail to see why adults can't get their children there for everyone else's sake (teachers included who've spent so much unpaid time prepping for this)