To have expected more in life from working to reach this salary?

[grethrow]

I’m early forties and earn 75k. I know this isn’t huge money but it’s well above average salaries in the uk. I worked hard to get to this point (I’m not saying people who earn less don’t work hard).

I guess along the way I always thought I would be able to have a really comfortable life on this salary. I have one ds who is 11 but his costs don’t really factor in much as his dad pays for most stuff (ds lives with me so dad pays a decent amount).

I assumed going on holiday would be easy but renting a cottage in Devon in a nice area for a week is around 1,500, then there’s travel costs and food etc when you’re there! Going abroad long haul is extortionate. I guess these things are just about doable for me but it’s not easy.

I am having a privileged whinge. I know that. But I do feel sometimes like maybe at 18 I shouldn’t have bothered. My parents had a similar income (taking into account inflation) and me and my brother both went to independent schools, grew up in a large home and parents had very nice cars. It wouldn’t be possible for me to go and buy a nice car outright. I know people have it much worse but I still feel cheated and like it is a slog for very little, fair of me to feel this? Do others feel this?

You need to look at where you're spending your money because something is very wrong if you feel you can't afford a holiday on your income when it sounds like you're receiving maintenance to help with DS cost.

You must be spending a lot on non essentials day to day so cut back a bit there and you'll easily be able to afford a holiday.

Or if you think that £1500 plus food and travel (say £2k or so, or £200 pm) for a cottage in Devon, is poor value for money, look at other options.

There's loads more choice than 'a cottage in Devon' or long haul, I know that if I was spending around £2k on taking a 10 YO on holiday, I'd not be taking them to a cottage in Devon, nice as I'm sure it is, it's going to be a bit shit if the weather's not good.

what are your main expenses op? You must be netting 4-5k a month. Even if you have a massive mortgage you should still have 2k ish to cover everything else which is quite a lot.

Still not £66k!

I see a lot of this on here: people who feel their wage should facilitate a certain lifestyle. “Why isn’t £75k worth now what it was when I was growing up.” The obvious answer is: things change.

I get that it’s shit that things are so expensive now. But also don’t see why it’s so hard to acknowledge what things actually cost and budget accordingly.

For example, we bring in £90k a year between us. I could moan and say “On that we should be able to live in a big 4 bed house, have 2 new cars, and go on lots of holidays and still have lots of disposable income, why can’t we?”

Or I could just do what I actually do: budget, make my choices, and think myself in a bloody good position compared to most!

We live in a cheap small 2 bed terrace, have no cars because we get to work by foot or train, and have no money worries and can go on holidays because we’ve made those choices. Yeah it’s not what I thought a £90k household income would get me years ago, but there you go.

It really does.
@grethrow Your take home salary would be £52,550 annually.Lot’s of people in relationships have 2 salaries, which is why they would be better off, because they share their mortgage and outgoings.It’s quite difficult to have the same standard of living without 2 incomes🤷‍♀️

This is true. When I retired, I made the same wage as I made in the States in 2004. And I had to work like heck to get there.. Full profs at universities are on 75-80K and that takes a couple graduate degrees and publishing books to get to that level. University lecturers have seen their income decline by 25% in real terms in the past 20 years…we have faculty using food banks…32K doesn’t go far if you have student loans or a family or both. It is difficult out there.

The £20k will be taxed at 40% and have pension contributions/NI. So in real terms might well be less than £10k in net income. It’s still lots but cost of living has been rising a significant amount of late

It’s not £20k a year, it’s around £10k a year (depending on pension contributions). That is very easily swallowed by increased mortgage rates and utilities.

I’m inching towards 30 and am on 17.5k. I honestly just feel like quitting and being a housewife/stay at home mum. I have two kids and feel like I’ve failed them. We struggle month to month and I just expecting to be on more by now

It's not a lot anymore! I struggle to save on £80k

That’s just the reality for everyone now. £30k used to be a decent basic wage for a single person 15 years ago. It isn’t now. Nothing goes as far as it used to.

Well look at your spending then!

The £20k will be taxed at 40% and have pension contributions/NI. So in real terms might well be less than £10k in net income. It’s still lots but cost of living has been rising a significant amount of late

Plus loss of child benefit (or most of it) and where I work the pension contribution rate increases above £55k (defined benefit).

I could understand the OP’s gripe if she was earning that amount of money but was struggling to heat her home or put food on the table or pay the mortgage but it’s none of these things, she is complaining about not being able to afford long haul holidays, she could cut her cloth and shock, horror holiday in Europe.

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄I’ve posted this here before and people don’t believe me. Mine and my partner’s combined income is £140K.
We can’t afford a 3 bed in zone 6 London.
Our one holiday a year is a 4 night at a center parc in May, we don’t have a designer habit, don’t buy clothes all the time nor do we go out all the time.

then people tell us to move out of london. But it’s where our jobs are. I work for the NHS and would immediately get a 15% pay cut if I moved out of London and stayed in the same band. DP’s job doesn’t exist out of London. And we would just be told we’re contributing to higher house prices elsewhere and pricing local people out, and to go back to London.

I'm on a similar amount, DH a bit more and I'd say we're comfortable. But I know what you mean. I feel like on our salaries we should be able to let loose a little but the reality is I watch every penny. We choose to send one DC to private school to be fair and that comes with compromises.

We budget £10K a year for holidays though and I get a lot out of that for 4 of us. £1500 for a UK holiday for 2 is a lot so you need to shop around.

10K for holidays and private school is not watching every penny. Or you watch you go on lovely things whilst others mean “watching the food bill” when they say watch every penny.

Does anyone remember a book by the then Guardian journalist Will Hutton called The State We're In, published about 30 years ago, before the Blair and Brown govts and 10-15 years before the credit crunch and everything that came after? In the book he described the 40: 30: 30 society in the UK
40% of people comfortably well off
30% more precarious
30% downright poor

If we use his rough ratio as a model, what I think has happened is that the 40% has got smaller and a group of people who used to be in that "comfortably well off" category have moved down into the middle.

Using his ration maybe we now have a 25: 45: 30 society?
Some of the ppl on this thread are still in the top bracket. The OP (and me and others) have dropped down and the rest were either always in the middle or the bottom group hence the "you don't know when you're well off" and "budget harder" posts.

Dear Will if you are reading this please come on and tell us what you think!

75k a year for basically one adult (as your ex covers all your sons' bills) is a great income.

YANBU, I'm so grateful to have no problems putting food on the table or paying essential bills, but we have a joint gross income of over £100k now and I thought we'd be living the life of Riley on it.

I appreciate we are much better off than most, but we live in a 2.5 bed terrace with a big old mortgage which needs work, have one car, and go on one holiday a year costing about £2k. We don't eat takeaways often, don't have expensive subscriptions, hobbies, or gym memberships. Kids do cheap clubs - less than £10 a week total. Christmases and birthdays are modest affairs, we barely drink and we buy 90% of clothes etc second hand. Our income seems to go mostly on supermarket and household bills. Everything has gone up massively.

We have been able to save a bit in the past 4 years since DC at school, but the house has eaten up tens of thousands in essential repairs, new boiler, new windows etc and my pension is pitiful. DC has had health issues which we eventually went private for as weren't taken seriously by NHS.

I think felt wealthier 5 years ago when we were earning maybe 15k less. I really feel for those who are struggling to get by.

It really is.

That’s the reality of living in London, it’s one of the most expensive places in the world to buy a property and live.

You'll always get folk jumping down your throat if you dare to have a whinge about the cost of living and you earn more than 50k. But just because others have it worse does not mean your feeling are invalid and ultimately it's not your problem if others don't earn the same.

Like you, I worked hard (as do a lot of people regardless of salary) and put myself forward for promotions and took on additional responsibilities (and of course additional stress) with the view of more money = more to spend / better quality of life / more opportunities to travel and do what I want. I'm mid 30s and now earn what some might call a healthy salary, as does my husband but we scrape by each month with mortgage, nursery fees, travel costs etc. We can't afford holidays unless we stretch and save. We have had to pull out the credit card to pay for essentials this month. Back in my mind 20s we went on 3 "luxury" holidays a year and drove better cars but didn't earn a third of what we do now!

It's not ideal but I always tell myself it will get better .. and we have a roof over our head with the heating on and that in itself is a luxury nowadays.

Or if you think that £1500 plus food and travel (say £2k or so, or £200 pm) for a cottage in Devon, is poor value for money, look at other options.
There's loads more choice than 'a cottage in Devon' or long haul, I know that if I was spending around £2k on taking a 10 YO on holiday, I'd not be taking them to a cottage in Devon, nice as I'm sure it is, it's going to be a bit shit if the weather's not good.

Agree. I know it's not really what the thread is about, but UK cottages are an expensive way to holiday. Also there's always the risk of the weather essentially removing the free options, so you need to build in the budget for indoor activities. Great if you can afford it and feel it's worth the cost, but it doesn't sound like that's you OP. And obviously long haul isn't cheap.

I'd go for one of these two options. Pick a caravan park in the UK with amenities like an indoor pool on site, which will almost certainly be cheaper than 1.5k unless you choose the dearest accommodation, or look at a package in Europe if you like heat and beach holidays. Shoulder season if necessary.

No shit sherlock