To have expected more in life from working to reach this salary?

[grethrow]

I’m early forties and earn 75k. I know this isn’t huge money but it’s well above average salaries in the uk. I worked hard to get to this point (I’m not saying people who earn less don’t work hard).

I guess along the way I always thought I would be able to have a really comfortable life on this salary. I have one ds who is 11 but his costs don’t really factor in much as his dad pays for most stuff (ds lives with me so dad pays a decent amount).

I assumed going on holiday would be easy but renting a cottage in Devon in a nice area for a week is around 1,500, then there’s travel costs and food etc when you’re there! Going abroad long haul is extortionate. I guess these things are just about doable for me but it’s not easy.

I am having a privileged whinge. I know that. But I do feel sometimes like maybe at 18 I shouldn’t have bothered. My parents had a similar income (taking into account inflation) and me and my brother both went to independent schools, grew up in a large home and parents had very nice cars. It wouldn’t be possible for me to go and buy a nice car outright. I know people have it much worse but I still feel cheated and like it is a slog for very little, fair of me to feel this? Do others feel this?

If you want for more than you can afford then you'll never live the comfortable life you're imagining. You'd maybe feel the same on 150k or 15k, you'd just be richer or poorer into the bargain

140 per week on food for the 2 of you is very high.

This post nails it. I know that lots of people get by on less but 75k for one household particularly if in a pricey part of the UK (which is most of it) won't go all that far.

Living standards for the majority of people in the west peaked 30-40 years ago and have been in steady decline ever since. Though of course those right at the top earn astronomically more than they used to earn.

Rising house prices have been a great bribe/mirage over that same time frame to keep the baby boomers/older gen x ”onside” and sufficiently compliant with the direction of travel. Though obviously that’s nearly run it’s course now with the next generations unable to buy.

Long live trickle down economics!

@Fluffyiguana I think that's the thing, I think the last few generations we have become accustomed to the next generation having an improved lifestyle to the previous, but that feels like it's stopped. Although I do think our expectations have changed also, I'm a lot more demanding of my money and lifestyle than my own parents were, I'm more impatient also.

Exactly 💯..

I grew up in a very comfortable middle class home, lots of holidays, wanted for nothing.

I remember saying to my friend once that it'd be great to get to the same level of success as our parents... she chuckled and looked at me as though I was mad. Both of our parents are/were very high earners - her dad even more than mine - in the Home Counties (Bucks). I'm sure it definitely skewed my perception of what success is and what I would (n)ever achieve. And my friend knew this, of course 😅🤪

Unfortunately even when you have a nice salary you still have to be boring and budget. We have a higher combined income that you but to feel comfortable (which I do) I have to sort out money each months into various pots to go to different places so money doesn’t get spent on frivolous stuff.

things that help:
Add up yearly/quarterly/term Lu etc expense then divide by 12 (think car costs, insurance payable annually, dentist, kids activities billed termly etc. put this in a savings account and draw the money as needed.this stops you getting months where you have to pay for mot and flute lessons and the dentist and it wiping out all your spare money.

work out how much you have after all monthly bills paid (including savings). Divide this into fun money by weeks. If I have a big event or trip close to before payday, put money aside for it at the start of the month so you don’t turn up on the 24th and have no cash to have fun.

Buy groceries and petrol on a cash back credit card and pay off in full at the start of the month. This helps because you pay for groceries once a month, effectively, so you can conclusively know how much you have left and don’t need to factor in paying for food.

start saving for that holiday now! We have a holidays savings, a house stuff savings, emergency fund savings. It’s admin but knowing exactly where your money is supposed to go helps.

Did you get stung my a huge mortgage increase, because having more then £20k absorbed by COL seems very high.

I don't quite agree with this. Me and my husband are both part-time for this reason. Over 50k and you pay so much tax, it's nowhere near 2 people on 35k for instance. I understand why op is finding things hard. I think most of our generation are, sadly. I feel the same, we have much more stressful jobs, are high earners and work a lot more hours than our parents. We've never bought a new car. Not complaining, but my parents did this every couple of years on one salary. We also had holidays to florida. My dad was sole breadwinner, didn't have a levels etc.

Could you afford to save £100 per month and go abroad every 18 months and forget about (rip off) Devon?

I have felt as you do in the past. We live up to our incomes, that's life. I no longer feel like that but I'm my seventies so long retired :-), am content with my lot. I will say that things definitely did improve financially for me and my late husband in the ten years or so before retirement. That was very nice. However, could have been a lot worse and I did enjoy working.

I wish you a long, happy and healthy life.

This doesn't make sense.
Average household income is around £35k.

"lots of people get by on less than 75k" sounds pretty ignorant IMO.

I think you are mismanaging your money. Earning money and spending it are two very different skills, you are good at the first and rubbish at the second. Good news is that it’s the easiest to fix.

😅 Yep, there goes the budget for my Harrods shop - what will I do now?! 😂

I voted YANBU because it sounds like you’re more upset about your own quality of life in comparison to previous generations, rather than in comparison to other people your age. And in that respect, you’re right. People working today are getting less for their time than the previous generation. My parents had a gorgeous 4 bedroom house in a home counties village, my mum stayed at home until we were all at secondary school, we had ponies and summer camp and lived very comfortably. They also saved enough to take early retirement. I have a “better” job than either of my parents did, but I couldn’t imagine ever being able to afford anything like the lifestyle they took for granted. It’s just worse now.

oh FFS! sorry but I have worked hard too and I am now retired and am rationing my heating, counting the pennies when I go food shopping and watching my savings dwindle at an alarming rate. I saved as much as I could as a single parent whose ex paid no child support which also affected how much I could afford to put into a pension . And guess what, other than replying to your post I don't whinge. I think that I did well to pay off a mortgage on my own, to see my kid go ott to uni and while I am frequently cold I still appreciate that I have my own home, my health and despite cutting my spending as far back as I can I still have a better life than many others. I don't even know anyone who earns £75k and while I appreciate that any ot us can feel that life didn't pan out the way we hoped maybe standing back and thinking about what you have achieved might make you feel a bit more grounded about how far you have come in life

It's not even two people's average income, as two workers get a combined £25,040 tax free allowance. A couple on the same household income gets a good £5k net more per year than a single salary.

Many feel like you. You are right and yes people have been so brainwashed in this country to feel grateful with what they go otherwise you are some sort of evil person. Of course people should be entitled to have a very decent quality of life. However, you probably are paying a big chunk of your salary to support others who get the same than you without much effort. Until people start being able to understand that a few luxuries are not a sin and is what motivates the average person to work for may be we can start moving forward. I sympathise with you.

I don’t doubt there is a cost of living crisis. So, see a financial advisor and budget your outgoings. Save more and invest more for a few years until you build a comfortable nest egg. Then you can use that for holidays, etc. You also should have a plan for retirement and decide what you are giving your kid in inheritance/have a pot for university fees. In your 40s, now is the time…you have 20 years to accumulate the magic that is compound interest. You can have a comfortable life on that salary, but it just may need a little more discipline and knowledge of what you are spending your money on. Good luck.

Aw did-dums poor you

I earn 30k and I know I couldn't survive on that alone with the kids etc but since our joint income equals roughly your single income, I cant see that you're having it that tough really.

This thread summarises the decline of the UK - that there is a moral virtue seen in declining living standards

it is a fact that living standards in the UK are declining. This is not a good thing.

A big part of it is wages are quite stagnant. When I started work 20 years ago I was on 16.5k in a very average graduate role. That would be about £29k but those very average graduate roles often only pay £23-25k

Someone in my current role at the time was on around 40k, which would be £70k in today’s money but I earn under £60k.

There was a period where a lot of people’s salaries went down in real terms around 08-10 and I know in my case it took to 2015 to get back to earning more in real terms than I did in 2008 (& that was only due to promotions). I’ve had a real terms rise in pay most years since but high inflation recently has meant a couple of years didn’t keep up and ultimately if I hadn’t had another couple of promotions I’d be earning less now in real terms than I did in 2009.

Basically people are paid less overall for the same job in real terms than 20 years ago and it’s worse in the public sector than private. It’s been particularly brutal lately as the things going up in price most are ones you have to buy. However much you earn it’s tough having less in real terms and it’s shit for people they need to get promotions/take on additional responsibilities just to maintain the same vs to get something extra.

It’s relatively lots better than many people are dealing with but it’s still rubbish and demotivating.

Inflation has eroded the value of our earnings, at all levels. There isn't a way to have this discussion on MN and refer to your own personal situation without that causing a shitstorm, whatever you earn. But the general principle applies at all wage levels.

And as a single parent OP, there are some specific problems just for you. You're being hit by the triple whammy of only one personal allowance, only one household income and only partial child benefit access. One wonders if this situation would've been allowed to come into being if most single parents were men.

Personally I dont think its fair to compare yourself and earnings/outgoings and cost of things to the generations below. Its not a fair comparison for what you are trying to achieve with regards to your current standard of living. Everything is different now.

If you must compare, compare what your situation would be like on 45K and then 100K. Then you can see your standard of living is good compared to lots of people and not quite as spectacular than those on a lot more. Just ben happy with where you ar and be proud of the hard work in your career progression to get where you are today