To have expected more in life from working to reach this salary?

[grethrow]

I’m early forties and earn 75k. I know this isn’t huge money but it’s well above average salaries in the uk. I worked hard to get to this point (I’m not saying people who earn less don’t work hard).

I guess along the way I always thought I would be able to have a really comfortable life on this salary. I have one ds who is 11 but his costs don’t really factor in much as his dad pays for most stuff (ds lives with me so dad pays a decent amount).

I assumed going on holiday would be easy but renting a cottage in Devon in a nice area for a week is around 1,500, then there’s travel costs and food etc when you’re there! Going abroad long haul is extortionate. I guess these things are just about doable for me but it’s not easy.

I am having a privileged whinge. I know that. But I do feel sometimes like maybe at 18 I shouldn’t have bothered. My parents had a similar income (taking into account inflation) and me and my brother both went to independent schools, grew up in a large home and parents had very nice cars. It wouldn’t be possible for me to go and buy a nice car outright. I know people have it much worse but I still feel cheated and like it is a slog for very little, fair of me to feel this? Do others feel this?

Translation: I feel entitled to luxury and I’m disappointed not to get it.

You’re also revealing your sheltered upbringing massively by thinking you may as well not have bothered to work hard to earn such a pittance.

If life on £75k is so unfair, what on earth do think it’s like to live on £25k? Or can you not even imagine that?

You obviously have no clue whatever what poverty is like, and far too much of an expectation of luxury. Sorry to be harsh, but this is the truth.

Gratitude will bring you much more happiness than money ever will.

same here. We are absolutely fine & comfortable, but my parents in the same professions put 3 kids through private school.

Our tax and benefits system also means higher wages don’t quite deliver what you’d expect. £75k after tax is quite a bit less than 2x people on minimum wage after tax and child benefit.

£75k after tax is £4500 a month. A person on NMW takes home £1600 a month on their £22K salary. Times two is £3200 plus £100 child benefit. So OP would still be better off than two people on minimum wage. And that’s before the child maintenance is added.

Where is your money going. I understand why you couldn't afford private school but a weeks holiday. No sorry don't understand why you can't afford that.

£75k is about double the average salary

You’re either making lifestyle choices above your means or you’re really crap with money.

YABU

Op I passionately agree with you and sympathise, I feel very similarly to you. Growing up, if I'd ever known I would be earning the amount that I do, I would have expected a much more opulent lifestyle. Money does not go as far at all as it did in our parents' generation. And it sucks!

Also I think you are completely entitled to your privileged whinge, it's not a race to the bottom.

I'm not sure why you feel cheated? You were given every advantage and a head start from the beginning (which some might class as cheating rather than cheated!) You've made the most of your advantage by working about as hard as everyone else who works hard, and you earn a decent salary. Obviously if you live in an expensive part of the UK (which isn't compulsory) your salary doesn't stretch as far as it would elsewhere. If you hadn't bothered doing any work then I guess you'd earn less and find life properly difficult, unless you could fall back on family help, so it was surely worth it.
The people who are cheated imo are those who start from disadvantage and are sold a dream that they can have wealth and advantage if they simply work hard enough. When they find that this really isn't the case and they've lived their whole lives aspiring unsuccessfully to the things you were given by accident of birth, that's being cheated.

I spend about 140 a week in Tesco but that’s for absolutely everything including shampoo etc. Car is 220. Mortgage is less than renting. I don’t think I’m doing anything extravagant or wrong with money. But not sure how it isn’t obvious that 1500 just for a week holiday without food or travel is difficult

It is quite difficult coming to terms with the fact you cannot afford a house anything like the one you grew up in, even wildly out-earning your own parents.

Grateful for what you’ve got etc etc, but it is a bit disappointing. To afford a similar house now at my age you’d be needing significant generational wealth.

As a single income of £75k, no I wouldn't expect a very comfortable level of living (but that's relative) - and that is incredibly unfortunate, because it should be. You'll get a lot of posts here to the tune of 'try living on £30k, OP', but I get where you're coming from - sometimes it feels as if there isn't a point to the kind of job that yields that salary.

The money is moving upwards. I don't know how accurate this is (plucked from Twitter), but it feels right.

Wealth growth since 1970
Average - 8%
Top 10% - 85%
Top 1% - 320%
Top 0.01% - 4000%
Billionaires - 32000%

My dad worked in a factory and bought a house on one salary in the 70s. Wages haven't kept up with everything else.

In 1965 the CEO to worker pay ratio was 20:1 now it's 399:1. We're being played.

That's why we didn't do UK holidays but did all inclusive abroad. Getting good deal you get week in Tunisia all inclusive costs for 2 outside of main season and still have plenty left over🤷

@grethrow is that £140/week for just you and your DS? If so, that's a LOT, even for everything!

They have not. When I worked NMW which was like £5 an hour that time, I had lovely room in major city, trips with friends, flew back to native country at least 1x a year, partied nearly every weekend and still had left over. I did 55 hours average a week as standard, but still...

It depends where you live in the country, and if you have a partner. Where I am £75k total household income isn’t huge. I’m guessing the difference with your parents was that there was two of them, which is more tax efficient and both contributing to household income.

I think the crux of the matter is you grew up privileged so have a skewed idea of what’s a basic expectation and what’s a luxury. I grew up poor in an undecorated terraced house, went to state school, parents in manual/unskilled jobs and we never went abroad. I out earned my parents combined income by the time I was on 30k. I earn 50-60k (self employed) live in a shoebox flat and feel like I’ve won the lottery tbh. I never thought I’d own my own place at all, let alone in London. I could probably earn more but I choose to be freelance and part time because I like a work life balance and frankly I’m a bit lazy. I still manage 3-4 holidays a year, and at least one is long haul. I save between 500-1000 monthly. If I can do it, you definitely can - where’s your money going?

I think this is missing the point of the OP’s post. She knows she earning a lot more than most.

But (and as number often reminds us), £75k is supposed to be an excellent salary. You should expect a high standard of living when earning a high salary. That’s the point.

Someone earning 3x the minimum wage should have a hugely better quality of life. As it is she will take home more like 2x the take home pay. And - that money doesn’t go as far as it used to, particularly if living in the South / cities, and particularly if in private rental or having a recent mortgage.

People should (and do) strive for a better quality of life, and if society can no longer actually support this because the cost of living is so insanely high / single earners are so penalised by the tax system, that’s a massive failure of the UK.

If you have a Lidl or Aldi near you, it would be much cheaper to shop there. Do you have any savings at all? Are you able to save?
you have to list out while you are going in order to be transparent. We can’t help you if we don’t know what you’re spending your money on only you know what you’re spending your money on!

We earn more but spend over 6k on holidays it about priorities our mortgage is only £700 on a detached house as it was a dump when we bought it. You should be coming out with around 4k a month which is only the equivalent of two people on 35k but with the same expenses.

2 years ago at the age of 45 I was earning £26k, the highest salary I had ever had up until then, prior to that I was on £21k. I have always worked full time, this was a managerial position too.

I now earn £36.5k.

I still manage a holiday a year and have 3 grown up boys at home. Maybe need to look at your outgoings, are you paying for luxuries you don't need

@grethrow

I don't normally comment on posts like this.
However, my income is about £38k, it's precarious because I'm a foster carer- no child in placement no pay. 4 months this year with no income.
My biggest advantage is that I no longer have a mortgage. I have a son at university who gets full loan and works but I still sub him for some things.
This year I had a week on the Isle of Wight- 2 bed flat- £650
Week in Scarborough - caravan £800
Short break in Copenhagen - £900, son paid for food.
Holidays don't have to be long haul, cheaper options than £1500 cottages for 2 of you

75k is the equivalent to 60k in 2020 & 40k in the early 00s. Add in frozen tax bands and you have less money. Salaries are pretty shit in the UK unfortunately.

I hear you OP. I earn less than you, but still a decentish salary on paper. It does feel like it should go further.

What is a “high standard of living” though? That’s subjective. To some people it must include a top of the range new car, private school and detached home as standard. To others it would be about freedom and flexibility to live according to their desires. I personally don’t think expensive material possessions or a big house are the only ways to have a high standard of living.

I'm baffled that you can't afford it honestly on that income, you must be spending it elsewhere or have large outgoings? Presumably with an 11 yeat old you no longer have childcare costs. I'm a single parent on less than half your income and I can afford £1500 a year for a week away, it's just a case of saving £200 a month, you really can't manage that?

You can go abroad all inclusive for that price as well, sod a cottage in Devon!