To have expected more in life from working to reach this salary?

[grethrow]

I’m early forties and earn 75k. I know this isn’t huge money but it’s well above average salaries in the uk. I worked hard to get to this point (I’m not saying people who earn less don’t work hard).

I guess along the way I always thought I would be able to have a really comfortable life on this salary. I have one ds who is 11 but his costs don’t really factor in much as his dad pays for most stuff (ds lives with me so dad pays a decent amount).

I assumed going on holiday would be easy but renting a cottage in Devon in a nice area for a week is around 1,500, then there’s travel costs and food etc when you’re there! Going abroad long haul is extortionate. I guess these things are just about doable for me but it’s not easy.

I am having a privileged whinge. I know that. But I do feel sometimes like maybe at 18 I shouldn’t have bothered. My parents had a similar income (taking into account inflation) and me and my brother both went to independent schools, grew up in a large home and parents had very nice cars. It wouldn’t be possible for me to go and buy a nice car outright. I know people have it much worse but I still feel cheated and like it is a slog for very little, fair of me to feel this? Do others feel this?

I think the relevant comparison is not 'money interest rate' - 'rate of inflation in salaries'; rather it is 'money interest rate' - 'rate of inflation in house prices'; this is the real interest rate with respect to house prices. In the past 30 years there is no doubt that this figure has been very low - almost certainly negative. If one believes that the real interest rate with respect to house prices will be negative in the future, borrowing to buy a house makes sense. (And vice versa.)

It has to go further when you are a single parent

@usernamealreadytaken 2k is quite an assumption!!! It’s 1k and just about covers our child’s costs so there’s no extra im getting for me as you suggest

How is £130 a week on groceries for 2 excessive? That’s what I spend. It covers the pets too, but doesn’t include meat (direct from butcher) or hair and beauty products. Groceries are expensive.

You get 1k maintenance and spend £200 on child related things?
your numbers don’t add up.
I think you are spending lots somewhere (clothes? Hobbies?) and are bad at budgeting.

@SchoolDilemma17 200 of my money in addition to the 1k

You spend £1200 a month on a 11 year old? Do you pay for private school?

@SchoolDilemma17 no it’s not school. It’s stuff like activities or going to the cinema or needs new clothes. It all mounts up! Also put 50 quid into savings but that’s for when they’re older. They also have lots of soft fruits etc so can easily spend 40 a week alone on that sort of stuff. Another example is when the passport was renewed that was around 70 quid when you factor in costs of photos etc

That’s an insane amount to spend on a 11 year old. £300 a week - please get real! In addition to your food bill he spends £40 a week on fruit? Are you trolling us?

You are living quite the lifestyle and then are complaining you can’t afford a holiday.
Sorry to be harsh but you need to look at better budgeting.

OP is paying £1200 on a mortgage out of an income of around/over £5k per month, and hasn’t come back to say just how she’s struggling on that. Unless she’s living in a rotten hovel in Cheshire, I’m just not sure how she doesn’t have a nice lifestyle and can’t afford a nice holiday or three.

So you have £5.5k a month coming in, with around £2k of bills and you can’t make the remaining £3.5k stretch to save for a holiday?

@SchoolDilemma17 no I mean the 40 is often part of the overall shop.

As I’m on my own and sort everything I don’t really have a comparison for what’s ‘usual.’ We don’t spoil dc, just get what is needed. I don’t know how you can reduce a food shop if blueberries and raspberries etc are minimum 3 pounds each. That’s just what it costs?!

It’s an average of nearly £20 per person (one of whom is a child) per day, that’s how it’s excessive!

£40 fruit budget at Sainsburys gets you
10 bananas
20 mangos and
8 melons

or 16 small fruit pots

@Jellycatspyjamas eh? My mortgage alone is over 1k before we even get into bills!

your numbers make zero sense
your mortgage isn’t high, you should easily have £1k leftover every month

It still don’t see how that’s excessive. Breakfast seven days, dinner seven days and occasionally lunch for me. Snacks for after school and cat food and litter. I’m not buying poor quality food for any of us. I think it’s reasonable.

I have two kids who eat fruit. I don’t think we spend more than £10-15 a week on fruit, definitely not £40. But whatever, fact is your income and maintenance are high. You have more than enough for dinners, New York trips etc

Bills are quite separate from choices. You’ll probably class £300 for activities as as “bills”, whereas most of us would call them “choices”. You have £5.5k coming in, with just over 20% going on your mortgage. Nobody her can see how you can’t afford a holiday! Wonder why DS needs a passport if you’re not travelling…

It’s excessive if you complain you can’t afford a “nice” lifestyle, while affording a nice lifestyle.

@grethrow

£300 a week is a staggering amount to spend on 'activities'
My son went to scouts, tennis and swimming lessons, camps, we did cinema and or theatre most weekends. I never spent anything like £300 a week

Take a step back and really look at what you are spending. Your son sounds like a very privileged little boy, that's fine- you spend your money on what you want to, we all do that. But seriously, if you can spend that on non essentials you aren't struggling and can easily afford holidays

@usernamealreadytaken there have to be activities so I can work when school finishes at 3:25? Wouldn’t consider that a choice. Passport was sorted three years ago!!!

@Ted27 not 300 a week just on that. I said there’s a lot of activities around school.

🤣🤣

Come on, you know it does not add up. Do you both only dress in designer clothes?

we pay for after school clubs, music lessons, 3 dance lessons, swimming and a tutor and it’s not £300 a week. Maybe £300 a month if that. And I don’t live in a cheap area.