To have expected more in life from working to reach this salary?

[grethrow]

I’m early forties and earn 75k. I know this isn’t huge money but it’s well above average salaries in the uk. I worked hard to get to this point (I’m not saying people who earn less don’t work hard).

I guess along the way I always thought I would be able to have a really comfortable life on this salary. I have one ds who is 11 but his costs don’t really factor in much as his dad pays for most stuff (ds lives with me so dad pays a decent amount).

I assumed going on holiday would be easy but renting a cottage in Devon in a nice area for a week is around 1,500, then there’s travel costs and food etc when you’re there! Going abroad long haul is extortionate. I guess these things are just about doable for me but it’s not easy.

I am having a privileged whinge. I know that. But I do feel sometimes like maybe at 18 I shouldn’t have bothered. My parents had a similar income (taking into account inflation) and me and my brother both went to independent schools, grew up in a large home and parents had very nice cars. It wouldn’t be possible for me to go and buy a nice car outright. I know people have it much worse but I still feel cheated and like it is a slog for very little, fair of me to feel this? Do others feel this?

It’s not overall income though. My dad has an income of £13,5000 but lives reasonably comfortably in a two bed flat…because he has no mortgage, no childcare costs and no travel costs. I know people who have a far higher income than him but all they can afford is a flat share or bedsit. Many people don’t have a choice, they are already living in the cheapest available accommodation that is in reasonable commuting distance to their jobs.

The question in the OP is pretty simple, not sure why people are desperate to show off how frugal they are.

Would you not expect that earning 75k would leave you with enough money to have a nice house, a nice car, and go on a couple of nice holidays per year?

Nothing to do with OPs circumstances. I agree that you would expect to have that sort of life on that sort of money, and it’s ok to be frustrated about it. You would have certainly been able to 10-15 years ago.

With a £1200 mortgage, no childcare costs and maintenance which Op receives that’s all easily possible.

I think the problem comes from you being a single person earning a decent salary, meaning you are being heavily taxed, where as if you were a couple earning the same together your combined tax bill would be considerably lower.
I agree you should be able to live a little frivolously on a salary of £75k, however that isn’t the case.
Have you sat down and gone through your expenditure (by your bank statements) to see where you are spending on non essentials? We did this about a year ago and my OH had never considered that he was spending around £12 on coffee per working day, once he stopped this we had significantly more disposable income.

It certainly is, but probably by less than most people think. After tax and benefits:

75k gross income: 55k take-home
40k gross income: 30k take-home
15k gross income: 22k take-home

75k is five times 15k, but take home is only 2.5x as much.

But for me it’s unclear why the OP can’t afford those things? When they likely have £2-2.5K to do whatever they want with each month.

The childcare aspect also isn't capped at 2 children either. You could have a dozen kids and still could be entitled to UC for their childcare.

Would you not expect that earning 75k would leave you with enough money to have a nice house, a nice car, and go on a couple of nice holidays per year?

The OP has disclosed around £2k of living costs, that leaves a very good chunk for doing what she wants. Most people would need to plan to buy a nice care or to pay for a long haul holiday - her budget allows for that but not that plus other discretionary spends. At that salary, with her outgoings, it’s a matter of choice what you do with the rest, rather than strictly affordability.

If they rent possible. If they have a mortgage I doubt it on that wage.

I have a mortgage. I earn significantly more than £30k. I get UC

Its due to childcare costs

But an extra £33k a year is a huge amount of money to enable someone to pay for all the nice extras.

This thread is a good example of how many people don't understand UC. Including some of the recipients, apparently. I know it's a byzantine system, but really it gets pointed out such a lot on here that there's no universal cap, that awards vary based on personal circumstances etc.

But the higher earner won't have £33k extra per year to pay for all the nice things in life.

Nursery for 2 kids in London costs £31k taxed income, even with 30 free hours and £4k tax free childcare.

The NMW worker will have that subsidised up to £20k. And will probably get away with working fewer hours to keep childcare costs above that £20k down with no reduction in income. Unlike the £75k worker.

Well instead of whinging about it why don’t they give up their job and work part time in Farmfoods if they’d be better off?

Or understand that people have different outgoings that are not always within their control. Earnings and disposable income are not as black and white as people think

i have high childcare costs. As a single parent…I don’t benefit from marital tax benefits. I live in a city where mortgages/rents are high

I count every penny to get by and receive (a small amount) UC to help with childcare

On paper I have a good salary. In reality…I count every penny

I am absolutely still grateful to have a decent salary and childcare costs will pass

Because that’s mental and very short term thinking?

I think dropping hours a bit is a more likely outcome.

But OP has one 11 yo child (and a father paying a decent amount towards that child). Yes, if she had 2 kids at nursery that would be expensive... but that isn't her situation 🤷🏼‍♀️

I don’t think it’s a hefty sum just because most people make it work on half. People shouldn’t have to make it work.they should be able to enjoy life, have holidays and eat good food.

I’m sorry about that. It’s not fair at all.

I guess it's picking apart the outgoings. In the last financial year my DP and I brought in £28k between us. We're lucky that we've paid off the mortgage, but we have two kids (14 & 11) and somehow we're not in debt and have savings. I'm always looking to cut costs, so everything is as low as it can be (around £100 a week on supermarket shopping, only two streaming services, bought an old car using our savings). We spent around £500 on a Butlins holiday, and we have a good social life. I've gradually weeded out the things that are unnecessary expenses though.

The housing costs are key though. For most people they're closer to 50 per cent of income than a third now

How can you blame it on 'the UK' when people on half your salary are managing to get by AND go on days out / holidays etc? I was on a third of your salary and still had money for living my life, it's all about the choices you make.

I think you're being ridiculous to be honest, you haven't taken your child on holiday for 4-5 years because it 'feels' like too much expense, in other words you can afford it, but you think it sounds too much for what it is so you aren't going to pay for it.

Do you really think your child would care is you were in a £1500 cottage or a £500 cottage? I would be ashamed to admit that I haven't taken my child away on holiday because I'm too much of a snob to enjoy a budget holiday.

Maybe you should consider that next time you're reaching for your £8 olive oil.

Just a small point when comparing generational costs of living- whilst house prices were low, mortgage rates weren’t. If you could get one. Think I might have read somewhere women couldn’t at some point. Generally there has been greater equality of access to credit for all peoples but the downside is house prices have shot up. The move to interest free wasn’t helpful either as people over borrowed.

My first property had a 8% mortgage rate (repayment). And I recall 16% in the 1980’s These ultra low interest rates were not normal and people shouldn’t have borrowed on the expectation they would continue.

This is an interesting attitude but here’s an existential question:

Who says we are entitled to all of this?

“People should be able to enjoy life, have holidays and eat good food.”

Really? Do we have a right to this?

Enjoying life is more about expectations vs reality, isn’t it?