To have expected more in life from working to reach this salary?

[grethrow]

I’m early forties and earn 75k. I know this isn’t huge money but it’s well above average salaries in the uk. I worked hard to get to this point (I’m not saying people who earn less don’t work hard).

I guess along the way I always thought I would be able to have a really comfortable life on this salary. I have one ds who is 11 but his costs don’t really factor in much as his dad pays for most stuff (ds lives with me so dad pays a decent amount).

I assumed going on holiday would be easy but renting a cottage in Devon in a nice area for a week is around 1,500, then there’s travel costs and food etc when you’re there! Going abroad long haul is extortionate. I guess these things are just about doable for me but it’s not easy.

I am having a privileged whinge. I know that. But I do feel sometimes like maybe at 18 I shouldn’t have bothered. My parents had a similar income (taking into account inflation) and me and my brother both went to independent schools, grew up in a large home and parents had very nice cars. It wouldn’t be possible for me to go and buy a nice car outright. I know people have it much worse but I still feel cheated and like it is a slog for very little, fair of me to feel this? Do others feel this?

See I do agree with this.

Someone on £75k is much more likely to have a status car to reflect their job and how they see their status in society.

They'll pick the car on the company car list that relates to their pay grade, without actually thinking "hmm actually if I pick the cheap car, it's more efficient and it cost less per month" often cos they think we'll otherwise I'm not getting my full allowance etc etc. They have to have a certain brand/size of car and have this mentality that they will otherwise will be endangering their child's safety in a small car (the irony they can't actually drive, much less park their monstertruck car without riding the pavement and endangering everyone else isnt lost on me).

Or they'll assume like the OP that holidays should cost x amount for a hotel for the night and they have to do a certain type of holiday.

Equally though I think there's a lot of people who stretched themselves buying a house but didn't consider interest rate rises and this has really caught them out when combined with the hike in energy bills and trying to heat their much larger house. I think a lot of people have been really caught out, effectively not planning for potential issues. I think it's people in this bracket that are being particularly caught out because changes to disposable income have been greatest in this group and least offset by other cushions.

The other one that gets me, is I go to the supermarket and I'm utterly bewildered by the prices on branded products and I do wonder who the fuck buys them.

You said 30k was too high an income to get UC. That was an absolute statement and it was wrong. I don't know why you don't get it, but if you understand how the system works, that means knowing you can't extrapolate your own circumstances to everyone else.

I'm not sure it qualifies as rare either. Private rental in a non cheap area and childcare costs would do it in a lot of cases. There are a few thousand claimants who get UC whilst earning more than 50k. I'd say those qualify as the edge cases, not 30k.

Sounds like you need to go through your mobile banking and have a proper look at what is going out of your account every month. That's the only way you'll work out why you can't afford a holiday.

I will have a lower mortgage than you because I live in a cheaper house. Childcare subsidy is aimed at keeping women in employment. When I was a child, childcare subsidy did not exist. So any mums earning minimum wage or close to it stayed at home as childcare cost as much or more than they earned. It ended up with a lot of women, especially lone parents, being on benefits for many years as they were out of work for at least 5 years with 1 child, but could be easily out of work for 7-10 years. Supporting childcare keeps these women in work.

Yeah because most people on 30k aren't entitled to UC, as I said my rent is quite high it doesn't matter. If you live in a high rent area you get a higher amount of lha but you still have to actually qualify for help with housing costs from universal credit.

I can't speak on the childcare aspect, that's probably one of the only reasons someone on 30k would UC.

It was something like that.

I don't know which exactly as DH booked it, but that's usually what we use.

There's some really quirky little places out there if you look. I don't think a lot of people think much outside the box though tbh.

We don't do package or beach holidays - it's just not our thing (if other people want to do it, it suits me just fine because it's means it's quieter where I am!) But there seems to be this gap in thinking between a bargain holiday or a more affluent type of holiday.

There is a middle way, which can be an adventure in its own right, rather than a certain standard of rather bland hotels that are all the same inside no matter where you are.

And childcare costs are hardly rare. They're one of the main things that make people eligible. Which is why the 30k claim was wrong.

Thank you!!

Someone on much higher than £30k couod qualify if some or all of these were true

higher number of children
single parent
high childcare costs
high rent/mortgage area (most areas of most cities)

the amount they may get could be very small and not even civet 25% of childcare cost. But they may get something

Exactly. A cottage in France sounds so lovely.

I actually know a teacher who bought a van and converted it.

Every summer she drives to Spain, france Italy, and Portugal for 6 weeks by herself, and she sleeps in her van.

Some of this is bullshit sorry, higher children? Its been capped at 2 since 2017.
As I said in my other comment lha I higher in high rent areas but you have to actually qualify for the housing benefit part of universal credit to get help with that.

All I'm saying is it's bullshit the people on this thread who claim someone on 75k is worse off than someone on 30k because of tax and benefits. Most people on 30k don't get benefits if they do it's for like childcare or really small like you say. 7.5k is the limit for free school meals because someone mentioned it a few pages back moaning that they have to buy theirs. 7.5k is miles away from 30k let alone 75k.

I agree childcare costs are something that make a lot of people entitled to UC. But they are for a limited time, with the highest cost being when children are at nursery.

It was capped for children born after 2017. Children were born before 2017

On no planet am I saying someone on £70k is worse off

Fair enough the second part of my comment wasn't aimed at you more the people on earlier pages moaning that everyone on 30k gets enough benefits to match someone on 75k after tax and is apparently entitled to free school meals lol I mean are they delusional

The stuff about benefits really pisses me off.

Cry me a river OP.

I notice a lot of the disappointed high earners say their current life style isn’t as good as their childhood. Their experience has led them to expect a higher standard of living

Personally I earn ok but am still on a tight budget due to circumstances. But my standard of living is still higher than my childhood. I’m exceptionally happy to have a decent salary as I never expected it

Expectations influence how people perceive things

plus OP has possibly never been hungry skint so probably doesn’t realise she does have a higher than average standard of living

I’m not sure what point you are trying to make?! This thread isn’t about me and neither are any of my comments. My comments relate to the fact that I am able to understand that someone on the same or higher income than me may not have anywhere near the same amount of disposable income because of their personal circumstances. I’m not sure why that’s so hard for most people to understand. Your mortgage may be lower but that doesn’t mean your house is smaller. It could be but there are also people who live in far smaller houses than me that have much bigger mortgages.

I also have no issue with childcare subsidies. In fact, I think that there should be universal low cost childcare for all. The cost of childcare in the UK is ridiculous. Me commenting that some people get help with their childcare is not an attack on those people. It’s merely an explanation why two people with very different incomes can end up with a similar amount of disposable income.

What actually is the point of that comment?

@Boohoo76 of course someone can have a higher income and have less disposable income. When I lived in a tiny bedsit I had a lot of disposable income. I owned nothing except a suitcase of clothes, but my outgoings were low. Someone with an expensive house will have larger mortgage payments than me. Expensive houses need not be large, as you know location matters.
It is not disposable income that counts, it is overall income. Then you make choices about how to spend it. When I bought a terraced house in a rough area I had less disposable income than when I lived in a bedsit, but I was buying property.

I am genuinely baffled as to what you’re spending your money on.

With the salary, mortgage and grocery costs you quoted you should have over £2k a month for ‘other stuff’.

That’s without cutting the grocery shopping bill.

It’s got to be going somewhere, and I wonder if that ‘somewhere’ is on lifestyle creep type outgoings that are adding up to you feeling like things are tighter than they are. Especially when you compare to a previous generation.

With the single salary you’ve described, I’d expect comfortable budget for day to day life, and luxuries in a couple of areas. It might be that you’re spending on something’s that are in that bracket without recognising them as such.

(also for anyone comparing, single income of that is very different to dual income at the same level. Single incomes tax a take pounding).

I’m so confused. You come out with £4.5K a month. Your outgoings don’t sound particularly high.

How a £1.5K cottage for a week is only just doable is beyond me.

I've definitely noticed a bit of that on here i think I saw someone a few pages back say they lived in a nice six bedroom house as a child and had travelled to every continent by the age of 10 and how sad they were their children can't experience that. Do these people realise that 99% of people's childhoods didn't involve being that wealthy? I mean there's certain aspects of my childhood my kids won't experience some of it for the better some for the worst. That's life. People in the bubonic plague times probably felt bad they grew up before the plague and now their children are dying from it. Extreme example and I'm waffling now but you get it

@Lallydallydune what can I say, not everyone likes cheap and cheerful, it’s OPs choice at the end of the day. I guess OP is saying they can’t afford the kind of holiday they would like to go on.

they are for a limited time, with the highest cost being when children are at nursery.

which someone on higher income has to pay for from their own income

The fair solution would be universal (not means tested) low cost childcare. That would have many benefits.