To have expected more in life from working to reach this salary?

[grethrow]

I’m early forties and earn 75k. I know this isn’t huge money but it’s well above average salaries in the uk. I worked hard to get to this point (I’m not saying people who earn less don’t work hard).

I guess along the way I always thought I would be able to have a really comfortable life on this salary. I have one ds who is 11 but his costs don’t really factor in much as his dad pays for most stuff (ds lives with me so dad pays a decent amount).

I assumed going on holiday would be easy but renting a cottage in Devon in a nice area for a week is around 1,500, then there’s travel costs and food etc when you’re there! Going abroad long haul is extortionate. I guess these things are just about doable for me but it’s not easy.

I am having a privileged whinge. I know that. But I do feel sometimes like maybe at 18 I shouldn’t have bothered. My parents had a similar income (taking into account inflation) and me and my brother both went to independent schools, grew up in a large home and parents had very nice cars. It wouldn’t be possible for me to go and buy a nice car outright. I know people have it much worse but I still feel cheated and like it is a slog for very little, fair of me to feel this? Do others feel this?

@BeckyS108 I hope things get better for you soon.

So it was a grim way to live? That’s the OPs point - she thought that her life would involve much higher levels of discretionary spending.

and it is objective fact that living standards have reduced in the UK

that is not a good thing

I'm supporting 4 kids on 27k. Sympathy here is limited. Where the hell is your money going? Is your house way bigger than you actually need? Do you shop in expensive supermarkets, buy expensive clothes? Epic TV package that is 99% shit you don't watch? You need to complete an income/outgoings list and find out where you are paying above the odds. Are you living in inner London? It's insane to not be comfortable on that salary.

But someone could work just as hard, if not harder and only earn minimum wage? The person earning minimum wage working their ass off may not have been on holiday for 10 years because they can’t afford it. I’m sure you likely have a mortgage on that income - someone on a lower income likely can’t and struggles to pay their rent. It’s nothing about working hard because there are MANY people who work hard and don’t have the privilege of a high income likely you

My point is that she has a lot more money than she thinks, if she suddenly didn't have an income she'd soon realise that.

The OP only has one person to pay for, since she gets maintenance for her son. How many people does your husband support? Is your mortgage the same as the OPs? I still maintain that for a one person, with a mortgage of £1200, £75k is a comfortable salary which should easily cover more than one week of UK self-catering holiday in a year. Unless there is some massive backstory about huge debts or parents’ care home fees or something, I cannot see why the OP can’t budget better.

She wants nice things and not to worry about money.

Why do so many on mumsnet think that is such a bad thing?

budgeting to the penny and not being able to do what you want doesn’t sound that great to me

OP -I’m sorry the ‘be grateful’ brigade are giving you a hard time but I agree with all that you’ve said. It’s fair to assume a certain amount of financial freedom with a certain salary but costs are now so much higher than they were even 4 years ago. I can give a very clear comparison- in 2016 DH and I went to a hotel on a Greek island and paid £1600 for a weeks HB. That exact same holiday is now £4k just for b&b.

I think the two main reasons for people being in this position are:

lifestyle creep - each time you get a pay rise you adjust your lifestyle up a bit because you earn more, so you never really feel better off because you just introduce higher costs

and

taking on big mortgages a decade ago because they could and now they pay ££££s more a month

I did a quick check on entitkedto. Basic pay £37.5k, after tax and benefits with 2 children , renting, no disabilities gives a take home pay of £48k.

Basic pay doubles but your take home only goes up by 30%. The difference in income is less than most people realise.

I have a salary of 45 grand a year and am single . I managed to pay for a house over Christmas for 2,000 for myself and the children. Where does all your money go ?
I think maybe you should try writing down all the things you buy , every single item , for a month , plus all the bills you pay including things like Netflix etc . It also depends on your rent and mortgage I’m sure, but then at least you’ll know if you are wasting more money than you think, because you really should be living comfortably on that . I dream of a wage like that .

I know someone in a similar position who feels the same. He had to take out loans to start again after divorce & pays CM based on his salary. He is also only just finishing paying off student loans. You don’t have the first but may have the second. You need to log outgoings, find out where your money is going.

I always think that when people say I work hard, I should be wealthy. Unfortunately some of the people working the hardest are on minimum or very low wages

I agree with this. Years ago I lost my job and made lots of cut backs. Small things like buying cheap shampoo in the supermarket rather than the £40 a bottle stuff I’d previously bought felt pressured into buying at the salon. I realised quickly that none of these ‘sacrifices’ made my life any worse. I’d just been wasting loads of money. Once I’d found another job I never went back to my old spending habits, and now I spend my money on things that enrich my life instead.

I need to do that, unfortunately I've let the spending bug back in. The only upside is, whereas before ( I was unemployed) I would have felt like the OP, now I feel rich!

I saw one thread recently about someone who lost their income after previously being a high earner asking for advice and saying ' I don't know how anyone does it' . That annoyed me, as there is a simple answer. You do it by going without.

We don't even come close to your income between us in my house. Fireman and me on minimum wage. We would be extremely comfortable on your wage.

I'm fascinated by this post and, as a 70yr old who has worked since I was 22, I can't even imagine what its like to earn that much money a year and not feel safe and comfortable. I think because I have never earned higher than £25k a year, I have not been tempted to expend more than I can afford, I have found ways to counterbalance the fact that I still pay rent , don't own a car and because I only have a state pension I still need to work to cover my essential outgoings . I do not go to the gym but keep fit by delivering bread to the local community on a bike. There is joy to be had in the simple things in life although I really can't face another year of camping for holidays this year!!!

Your take home must be around 4.5k monthly.
4500 - mortgage 1200 - car 220 - groceries 560. How much do you pay for utilities, tv, Internet, council tax, fuel? You should be able to save up substantial amount of money each month.

With the numbers you give, the difference in take-home pay between £37.5k salary with top up benefits for 2 kids (£48k) and £75k salary (£53k) is only £5k. Just 10% difference in take-home home pay.

Where did you get 30% from, have I misunderstood your numbers?

Its been a long day

I never get people acting as accountants for OPs. How much you earn is relative to the struggle.

(Just an overly simple example) You could be a parent on £100k a year gross. Which, at that rate, you lose pretty much every child care benefit. Limit hasn't gone up with inflation yet, even though £100k in 2020 is worth exactly around £80k today. Say that £100k parent live in the S.E., has twins in full time Nursary - that's at least £3.6k a month gone! Which is almost the same net take home pay on a gross salary of £60k (£3.7k pm net). That person could have saved every penny while renting in London and bought a modest home but got caught out high interest rates etc. You are looking at now a good £2.5k a month for a 950sq foot 3 bed terrace in In zone 5 London. Take home pay on 100k is £5.7k pm. You are now in debt every month until kids start school.

On the other hand, you could be on £50k - have all or non-term time child care or full child care provided by grandparents, who also gave them the deposit for a house as soon as they left home. Never had to throw money away on rent, mortgage paid or almost paid off and sitting on amazing good equity. Then that person turns to the £100k person and says "wow, you make double my salary - where does it all go?".

I swear Reddit is a more pleasant place and with better comprehension amongst it’s people than mn nowadays.

I read an article business website today that said apparently 41 percent of Americans earn £100k annually... 😳😱😳 Obviously we're only talking about the UK here on this thread, but I don't know if this is true for Americans - I mean, that is a heck of a lot of people on huge salaries if it is.

It made me think that the UK must be very underpaid if our average salary is so much lower. No wonder we can't afford to live decent lives and there by the grace of God... 😳😢

I was using the OPs own Tesco shop figures. Sounds like it covers everything.

£250 for a full month for all groceries would need some pretty careful budgeting.

Yeah, I’ll join you in a little whinge. I’m a similar age, bust a bollock in my 20s/early 30s, now on a £70k salary. But I’m £150 into my overdraft and have £1600 sitting on a credit card. And I’m not even single!