To have expected more in life from working to reach this salary?

[grethrow]

I’m early forties and earn 75k. I know this isn’t huge money but it’s well above average salaries in the uk. I worked hard to get to this point (I’m not saying people who earn less don’t work hard).

I guess along the way I always thought I would be able to have a really comfortable life on this salary. I have one ds who is 11 but his costs don’t really factor in much as his dad pays for most stuff (ds lives with me so dad pays a decent amount).

I assumed going on holiday would be easy but renting a cottage in Devon in a nice area for a week is around 1,500, then there’s travel costs and food etc when you’re there! Going abroad long haul is extortionate. I guess these things are just about doable for me but it’s not easy.

I am having a privileged whinge. I know that. But I do feel sometimes like maybe at 18 I shouldn’t have bothered. My parents had a similar income (taking into account inflation) and me and my brother both went to independent schools, grew up in a large home and parents had very nice cars. It wouldn’t be possible for me to go and buy a nice car outright. I know people have it much worse but I still feel cheated and like it is a slog for very little, fair of me to feel this? Do others feel this?

100% OP! I earn “well” yet will never have anything close to the lifestyle one would previously have expected. It’s very disheartening!

So you are on 2x the average salary which is not what it seems, ie only about 30% of people are on the average salary or more. You are on nearly 3x the median salary and about 4x the min wage. If you had not put the effort in, you might well be on the min wage, or even less if forced into part time or zero hours contracts etc. You are in fact in a very privileged position. You need to do your sums, down the the penny on what you spend. If you are paying off an expensive house, then ultimately its yours, if you had been on min wage you would be at the mercy of slumlords for the rest of your life. Never mind a cottage in Devon for your hols, go to Greece or Portugal and get a room with 2 beds and a balcony and you will get 2 weeks for less than the UK cottage. If I had all your figures I could work it out to the penny. We spent most of the last decade of our working age living on £8K per year for 2 of us, plus £2k for holidays, both made redundant, both considered unemployable, purely due to ageism and both had too much in savings to get benefits. We had to sell our London Flat before we had paid it off and moved to a so-so town in the midlands which we bought outright (fortunately).. ie get your act together.

£560 food shop? WTF we spend £200pm for two adults and dont eat rubbish. We do however start with Lidl and Aldi's then Tesco if necessary.

Tesco bill of about £600. WTF? £200 will do for one adult and one child or maybe £250 with ice-cream and wine. So can stick another £400 on the savings pile.

Do you save? We use our savings for our holidays. We earn around 17k a year, and save as much money as possible so there's always a pot, but I suppose there are 2 of us.

This is a joke right

Totally agree - I am on 70k a year and my take home is a lot less than people think - factor in 42 % tax ( Scotland) plus NI plus pension

Hi I'm currently wading through the quagmire of a divorce and financial settlement and I'm after some advice.
I was living in the fmh but have relocated and am renting a property close to my job, the ex left three years previously to start his new life with his new woman, but that's another story.
The fmh has been empty since end June and it was put on the market as ex wanted his equity from it, neither could afford to buy the other one out.
The house sold but at the last minute buyers pulled out.
The ex is now saying that he and his girlfriend want to move in take it off market for three to five years and he will pay the full monthly mortgage payments in the meantime and I will get my equity when it's sold then.
At the moment we are both paying half of the mortgage each as well as rent and it's crippling me financially and mentally.I have run out of money for further legal advice so I'm in limbo at the moment.
I was just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation and what did you do apart from the legal side.
Thanks in advance

@BeckyS108 and some of us are open minded enough to understand the point the OP is trying to make.

Price of living has gone up exponentially. Our mortgage is quite reasonable but only because we bought our house 13 years ago. The value has nearly double since then. I don't know how people can afford to rent, or to save up for the deposit.
Holiday costs are extortionate. We have not been on abroad holiday since the kids have been born. We shop around for staycations, or have day trips. Can't forsee the holidays getting cheaper, or any other costs getting lower.

Your lifestyle sounds pretty similar to mine. Unless you're the only earner in your household, you should easily be able to afford things. I spent £3k on a long weekend to Spain last month and we're going away next month which will be another £5k. Where is all your money going?

@potatocakesinprogress she's said she's the only earner.

Single parent household

You'd hate living with us, we spend more than £200 on steak and fizzy drinks a month 😂

@SomewhereInTheMIdlands that's what the OP quoted as how much she spent on her food.

well, even still, we've had 4 holidays away, she could do 2!

I’m struggling to see how you can’t afford to pay £200pcm for a holiday on your income, book the holiday 12 months in advance on a low deposit and pay it off every month?
£140pw is a lot on food for 1 adult and an 11 year old. We spend about that but we’re a family of 4, 3 of us are home all day due to home working and home education. My teenage kids are particularly expensive to feed due to one having ARFID and the other being a fitness fanatic who needs high protein and never stops eating! I believe it’s totally possible that you’re spending £140pw but you’re clearly buying decent food, not shopping on a budget. Which is fine, but you can’t then grumble that you can’t afford a holiday when you must be eating like royalty.
You also said that your son’s expenses are covered by child maintenance from his dad, so surely that is contributing towards the £140pw shopping bill?
It’s about priorities, for me, holidays are non-negotiable, we budget other stuff around our holidays. When we were skint we’d just go camping, but we’ve always done something.

@snowdropsy summed up a very important point very nicely in the last line.

'Gratitude will bring you much more happiness than money ever will'.

Thank you!

I think the problem is sometimes think having lots of money will make them happy and contented. Money is not at the root of happiness folks. It's about humanity, kindness, love, being with people that care about you, the simple things in life, appreciating and making the best of what you have been blessed with.

If you have a roof over your head, food in your mouth, good health and are not living in a war zone..be thankful!

I've just got back into a decently paid job after a stint on the dole although I do have a partner who earns moderately. During the 'lean times' we pared everything down to the bone and basically went without anything that was optional or did it on the cheap. Examples: never leaving the house without having eaten/ portable food and a flask of tea, making do and mending with clothes, recording and justifying every penny spent.
Now back in work I have loosened the purse strings and things like a coffee out, buying my daughter a Christmas jumper and going out to see friends/ drinking are ok again.

It has been a revelation to me just how much 'discretionary spend' is exactly that, discretionary and how much when you are earning can just evaporate because you're not justifying every last penny. Managing money on a tight budget is often a case of going without/ making do/ staying in/ saying no....really boring and shit but if you have no other option you have no other option.

I'd wager a lot of these ' I earn a good salary but have no money left at the end of the month' type posts are from people who just don't realise how much choice they do have in what they are spending. Choice I probably didn't realise myself until it was taken away from me through involuntay unemployment

well, even still, we've had 4 holidays away, she could do 2!

Well if you say so, that must be the case.

Cripes - who aspires to budget to the penny and shop at Aldi

There is no moral virtue in Cutting One’s Cloth

You might have to do that and you can still have a happy life.

But the OP is talking about having worked hard and made choices so that she didn’t have to do that. And because of the way the UK has gone - and is going - this life to aspire to is increasingly unobtainable