This is my point.
People are aware of the difference and it's something that's driving up resentment and social tensions if someone is seen to 'unfairly' be allocated social housing. (See issues over migrants).
Certainly one of my friends has told me how much her social rent is and is eligible for various benefits because she's a single mother working part time. I can work out what others are roughly paying in mortgage from bits they have said in passing and I've a fair idea of what they earn as a couple. So I have a general ballpark idea of finances for both. It's not favourable to the couple who work shifts and own a house in terms of disposable income. The single mother is also able to transfer her tenancy to her daughter if she wishes if the daughter is living there so in terms of owning the house the difference is somewhat negligible in real terms over a long period of time.
It doesn't make sense in many ways. The single mother arguably has greater financial security in many respects.
Then you compare that to a high single earner household. Child benefits aren't paid, the taxation allowances are unfavorable (because two lower incomes have double the tax free threshold). They pay higher rate of tax. They have less holidays for one person to cover school holidays (ultimately two parents can cover school holidays better if they need to), so they need more childcare.
Even more pervasively, you have issues where doctors who are very high earners, are willing to do extra hours but because of tax band thresholds and impacts on childcare allowances they are refusing to do it because financially it would make them worse off. Which given the waiting lists isn't helpful to anyone. (BIL is in this exact scenario so I a know this issue is a very real one). How much does this impact on the ability of others awaiting care and their ability to work/claim benefits or sick pay?!
It is unfair on a lot of levels. I don't know how you make it fairer without particularly penalising families either though. Perhaps looking at radical solutions like flat rate taxation would help.
The point is that a higher before tax income doesn't mean a higher disposable income compared to others in different scenarios. All of these families could be living frugally and in properties of a similar size in the same area - but be paying wildly different amounts according to whether they were in social housing, privately renting or owned.
I think the expectation of lifestyle according to the social status of your job, isn't unfair to have given how you understood the world as a child because these housing cost differences and taxation structures were not distorting disposable incomes to this degree. If you had a high paying job, you had a certain standard of living. Now it's very different and your aspirations don't match the reality.
This is a different point to saying "I'm poor and struggling". It's saying expectations are not meeting reality and that sometimes it really doesn't pay to work.
This is hammering UK productivity rates all over the place. It's affecting motivation to work across the board at multiple levels of income. That has to have an impact on our GDP. Which in turn affects how much the country makes as a whole.
I think it's a really difficult subject, with little real understanding. But it's a right mess and it needs sorting out somehow. God knows how.