To have expected more in life from working to reach this salary?

[grethrow]

I’m early forties and earn 75k. I know this isn’t huge money but it’s well above average salaries in the uk. I worked hard to get to this point (I’m not saying people who earn less don’t work hard).

I guess along the way I always thought I would be able to have a really comfortable life on this salary. I have one ds who is 11 but his costs don’t really factor in much as his dad pays for most stuff (ds lives with me so dad pays a decent amount).

I assumed going on holiday would be easy but renting a cottage in Devon in a nice area for a week is around 1,500, then there’s travel costs and food etc when you’re there! Going abroad long haul is extortionate. I guess these things are just about doable for me but it’s not easy.

I am having a privileged whinge. I know that. But I do feel sometimes like maybe at 18 I shouldn’t have bothered. My parents had a similar income (taking into account inflation) and me and my brother both went to independent schools, grew up in a large home and parents had very nice cars. It wouldn’t be possible for me to go and buy a nice car outright. I know people have it much worse but I still feel cheated and like it is a slog for very little, fair of me to feel this? Do others feel this?

But the biggest outgoings are rent/mortgage and childcare. And they are the same whether you have one adults or two. Many couples can also manage with one car so the cost is not necessarily doubled.

No it’s not it’s still less? Or around the same. She’s earning what the majority of households bring in with two incomes. Yes it’s harder as the sole earner for obvious reasons though.

That's a lot of money on food pw for 1.5 people - and one place for everything isn't the cheapest. Sainsburys at least price match Aldi. It's about being clever with deals, bulk buys & seasonal, simple eating.

Book a family or twin room at a hotel in UK (with or without free breakfast)

Use Hotukdeals & MoneySavingExpert to make your money go further & work harder for you.

£35k after tax is £2319 x 2 is £4638 plus they will get full child benefit. One person earning £75k is £4441 after tax plus they lose almost all the child benefit.

I'm another who doesn't understand your financial set up.

You should be on over £4k a month net, even with pension contributions.

Your mortgage is £1200, another £500 for council tax, heating and water. You say you have no child related costs, as they are covered by maintenance. Then you say £600 on food. Another £200 for a car.

That's £2500. So add in £500 for clothes, presents, haircut etc

And that's over £1000 clear a month to save.

So you should easily be over to save £10,000 a year. Which is plenty for holidays, house improvements etc.

Do you just need some budgeting help?

I mean that you could argue that you think you are earning an amount that you thought you wouldn't have to budget. But I'd suggested that unless someone is in the super rich category, earning millions a year, then everyone has to budget to a certain extent.

Well unpopular opinion but those earning more than 50K don’t need child benefit. I know, ensue angry mumsnetters.

We go to the cinema for free & then enjoy a (discounted) meal out. Theatre deals too.

Ww get to do lots and eat well (on less income) because we take the freebies, deals, discounts, points & cashback etc and make it work for us.

Ww even overpay the mortgage using either this 'free' money or the money that doing this frees up 👍

While I do agree with you, to lose it when you're a lone parent does make a difference.

As my dad always said wealth is not about how much you earn, it's about what you do with your money.

So someone could earn 70000 a year but insist on buying a huge house in a really expensive area and spending 3000 pounds a month on a mortgage. They could also take out a huge car loan, and be paying that off at 500 pounds a month . This person could maybe take out a credit card and be paying huge interest adeerel.

Whereas someone earning 40000 a year maybe could buy a 1 bed flat. Their mortgage is about 300 pounds a month. And she buys a second hand car for 500 quid. No car loan . No credit card.

Even though the first person is earning more, the second person is more comfortable and has more cash to spend.

The point that I have been making all through this thread is that people are quick to point out to some earning more than them that the higher earner is much better off but that isn’t always the case as it depends on personal circumstances. For example, some people have social housing. I am not against that by the way, I think there should be much more of it. I have just seen someone on a local Facebook page advertising a social housing swap. She pays £620 per month for a large three bed detached house. To rent the same privately would be £1800 plus around here. So someone on a much lower income in the social housing could have an equal (or greater) amount of disposable income than someone in a private rent. But there are still people on here shouting that, for example, someone is rich because they earn more than £50k. Well, no they are not if they are paying expensive rent/mortgage and/or childcare.

Or the person in £70k could be renting a one bedroom flat and paying childcare in an expensive area and have almost all of their salary taken up by that.

On 70 k why would she be renting though.

People I know who are earning 30k and less have all managed to save up for a house deposit. My cousin earns 25 k a year. She told me. She has bought her own small flat by herself

Honestly I just think op is being ridiculous.

This is not aimed at you personally. But just to point out that everyone with a child has to pay childcare fees, and most people earn less than 70k a year

No they don't. Many people have a parent at home, or have family to care for their child.

Break up from partner, accidental pregnancy whilst in a flat share, inability to get a job local to parents so has always had to rent and no opportunity to save up a big enough deposit.

Lots and lots of people are renting in London, the SE and other expensive parts of the country because they can’t get on the property ladder.

Mmm, now here’s the thing. I earned more than most of my friends when I went back to work after maternity leave but I had less disposable income than them because they had free child care from family members. Also, people on lower incomes can get help with childcare in some cases. It really isn’t as black and white as people try to make out.

Easy enough to see how a single parent on 70k in the south east might have no option other than private renting.

If a parent stays at home to look after their child, the family lose one salary. So it is not very different financially to both parents working and putting a child in nursery. Everyone takes a financial hit when they have a child.

The second part you said - "or have a family member to look after them. Do you know any families where the grandparent is looking after the child full time for free? Because i certainly dont.

All my friends that have young children.

They are all working full time, and they are all paying for nursery for their child.

I totally get it OP. The fact is, if you’re bringing home a decent wage I think it’s reasonable to expect that your lifestyle would reflect this. I’m not sure how we plan to get out of this whole

But maybe it's the OPs fault that her lifestyle is not good.

What is she doing on 70 k!

My cousin is earning 25 k and is living very comfortably.

Full time grandparent care is probably pretty unusual. A couple of days a week makes quite a dent in the costs though, especially when many parents of young DC work part time anyway, and that'll be much more common. These figures from Age UK are interesting.

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/latest-news/articles/2017/september/five-million-grandparents-take-on-childcare-responsibilities/

I say this as someone who's always had family childcare, and for a time didn't need to pay anything because of this. It's absolutely not true that having a child and being a working parent means you have to pay for childcare.

No one said it didnt happen at all.

But I think that paying for childcare is much more common than having a grandparent do childcare.

Every single person I know is paying for childcare. A lot of the children's grandmmothers would be very old and unwell themselves for a start. As women are having children later.

My cousin aged 38 just had a baby. Her mother is 74. And her mother is frail herself. She has brittle bone disease. There is no way she would be able to look after a baby.

She said she doesn’t claim child benefit.

Tbf certain people massively over share...