To have expected more in life from working to reach this salary?

[grethrow]

I’m early forties and earn 75k. I know this isn’t huge money but it’s well above average salaries in the uk. I worked hard to get to this point (I’m not saying people who earn less don’t work hard).

I guess along the way I always thought I would be able to have a really comfortable life on this salary. I have one ds who is 11 but his costs don’t really factor in much as his dad pays for most stuff (ds lives with me so dad pays a decent amount).

I assumed going on holiday would be easy but renting a cottage in Devon in a nice area for a week is around 1,500, then there’s travel costs and food etc when you’re there! Going abroad long haul is extortionate. I guess these things are just about doable for me but it’s not easy.

I am having a privileged whinge. I know that. But I do feel sometimes like maybe at 18 I shouldn’t have bothered. My parents had a similar income (taking into account inflation) and me and my brother both went to independent schools, grew up in a large home and parents had very nice cars. It wouldn’t be possible for me to go and buy a nice car outright. I know people have it much worse but I still feel cheated and like it is a slog for very little, fair of me to feel this? Do others feel this?

I make about £40k and in my mid 40s and Dh makes a bit more than me, so combined I’d say we’re probably around £75-100k, though definitely not on anything close to that until our 30s (we were skint as hell in our 20s), and we definitely have a very comfortable lifestyle. Big 5 bedroom detached house with acres of land, 3 cars, pets, I have a horse, and we have money for hobbies and holidays. Now we don’t go long haul to the Maldives as doesn’t appeal, but week in a holiday cottage in Cornwall or France or Spain with an Airbnb/gite once or twice a year is definitely affordable. And that’s with the expenses of 2 children and all their activities/clothes/shoes/etc (though in state school).

I do not need a reality check. I have lived in terrible rented housing. But if you are not entitled to UC, then you have a higher income than those renting who do get UC. And that includes the benefits.

Issue is you are on your own.

I do not believe they were funding all that on one wage below the average wage.

I sympathise with you. Part of it is we are taxed so highly and partly housing. You say your mum didn't work but the fact that most women now work has fed into house prices iyswim as banks now lend on multiples of two salaries rather than one. The difference between earning between top and bottom is also a lot narrower because of tax credits (I read years ago that for some jobs eg nursing all levels end up earning almost the same because of this). It is an unfair generational thing - we earned the same as you as a couple until recently (I was part-time) but then I'm 15 years older than you and paid off mortgage years ago so no housing costs. But then again my grandparents generation always rented and had no chance of earning more.

Ok…they were. The house was 65k and may have been interest only for part of it. They only had one car, we never went abroad. I went for the first time when I was 19.

I get this. You want to give your children a better life than you had how can you if you look back at your parent's life and see that they had it better than you?

Can I ask how much your mortgage is? I think this must be a major factor for many. I think mine is small, but we are in London so it's "small for London" IYSWIM

Btw don’t think moving to scotland will help. Its
fucking freezing and our heating bills are eye watering. We have a household income of £90k and talk all the time about how little of it we see. We’ve two school aged kids. And had to buy a doer -upper to be able to afford our own home. Almost daily I wonder if we’d be as well selling up everything and just moving to a flat in Europe somewhere and sending our kids to an international school. I’ve sacrificed some pension contributions to be able to pay for things as we need them now. At the point where I’m like fuck it, I might die tomorrow. Not that we don’t have savings and investments. But we have to live now too, and I’m not willing to give up on a nice lifestyle for a future that is so undetermined. But the dream is to have the lifestyle and see more of your salary right? Maybe one day…feel for you OP but be prepared for the “champagne problems” backlash and comparative suffering brigade.

@fedup33

All this assumes " stuff" and holidays and spending makes us happy?

An excellent point. The most insightful comment here

I get you, OP. My DH is on the same salary and I'm on 30k. We live in a tiny 250k house surrounded by council houses - I thought we'd be able to afford a nice house by this point in our lives but with interest rates we'd have to sacrifice a lot to move somewhere nicer. We do have 3k disposable income each month so obviously can't complain.

I am an HCA. It is simply not true that all levels end up earning the same. Usually when people say this they are comparing apples and oranges e.g. an HCA working nights (unsocial hour payment) and doing extra shifts, against a better paid qualified nurse working part time only during the day.

The shrinking/erosion of the middle class is real.

You are having a privileged whinge. Cut your cloth accordingly

By the way I fully accept if you have a nice home, so paying an expensive mortgage, plus kids activities and cars that you may have little disposable income.
What I object to is well off people saying they have about the same income or a similar income to people on benefits. This is not true, and it annoys me that so many people have swallowed the idea that all people on benefits are well off.

I have listed the main ones in a later post on this thread.
we are not struggling in terms of can’t eat or heat and I have a comfortable life but hardly any savings, and if a few things go wrong - house repairs, car repairs etc then it’s a big worry. Can’t afford many nice things as a family as it’s just so expensive to do anything more than ‘go on a walk or to a NT’ with a family of 5. Eat out once a year if that. Old bangers that are about to die. Just thought we would have a bit more on that income

Do you have any kids? We were comparatively loaded beforehand.

Childcare, shoes/clothes, activities, assorted guff eg presents for parties etc, higher life insurance, bigger house so they have a bedroom - after a while it bleeds you dry.

Did you change careers @CheekySwan ?

If you want to feel rich OP, do not spend much at all, for about a year
Then you'll be comfortable 😌

I know what you mean. £3k gets you nothing nowadays 😢

Same age. I earn half that. HTH.

Okay..

So mortgage £1200?
household bills and personal expenses £1000?
shopping £500
car £220
£2920

salary £4500?

• whatever your ex pays?

I'm sorry OP but where is you money actually going? Pension? Savings? Debt? School fees?

We have a combined income of approx £50'000 and don't think twice about going out to gigs/meals or going on holiday, we do't have much in savings, but it's all within our budget, we normally spend around £4000 a year on holidays in the UK.

There must be something you aren't disclosing, you should be able to more than manage on that salary.

I don't know about the equivalent of 70k claim, would need to see calculations, but it's not the case that a person who gets UC will necessarily have a lower income than a person who doesn't. Because it depends on childcare, rental costs and area. You can actually be a higher rate taxpayer and on UC, albeit in quite limited circumstances.

💯 this. The numbers don’t add up.
Even if another £500 goes into a pension pot, it leaves £500 at least for holiday savings, meals out etc

@SoiledMyselfDuringSomeTurbulence The benefit cap means a family outside London can have a maximum of £1835 per month. Inside London the maximum is £2115 per month. You can get benefits on top that are not means tested such as PIP, but someone on £70k can also get those as long as they meet the disabled criteria.