To have expected more in life from working to reach this salary?

[grethrow]

I’m early forties and earn 75k. I know this isn’t huge money but it’s well above average salaries in the uk. I worked hard to get to this point (I’m not saying people who earn less don’t work hard).

I guess along the way I always thought I would be able to have a really comfortable life on this salary. I have one ds who is 11 but his costs don’t really factor in much as his dad pays for most stuff (ds lives with me so dad pays a decent amount).

I assumed going on holiday would be easy but renting a cottage in Devon in a nice area for a week is around 1,500, then there’s travel costs and food etc when you’re there! Going abroad long haul is extortionate. I guess these things are just about doable for me but it’s not easy.

I am having a privileged whinge. I know that. But I do feel sometimes like maybe at 18 I shouldn’t have bothered. My parents had a similar income (taking into account inflation) and me and my brother both went to independent schools, grew up in a large home and parents had very nice cars. It wouldn’t be possible for me to go and buy a nice car outright. I know people have it much worse but I still feel cheated and like it is a slog for very little, fair of me to feel this? Do others feel this?

Boo hoo, you sound like need a reality check.
Life is hard for lots of people.
Instead of being disappointed at what you haven't got or not able to do long haul holidays try appreciating what you do have and be grateful that you are healthy and able to work and you and your son are financially supported.
The trussel trust gave out 1.4 million food parcels in the last 6 months yes a lot were to people on universal credit but nearly 30% were to working people in full time jobs suffering food and fuel poverty is such a huge problem for millions of people highlighted more so at this time of year.

A lot of people don’t realise how privileged they are to have social housing or UC paying towards their private rent and UC paying towards their childcare which means that they have the equivalent salary of someone earning much more…but then they start having a go at people who are earning more (and paying more tax) but don’t have any more disposable income than they do. These privileged people make me angry.

The COL hikes do suck but imagine if you hadn't worked so hard and been so fortunate. You might be choosing heat or eat, living in a damp shithole, not even getting a UK holiday...you have bought yourself massive benefits it just doesn't feel like it because you're not having to do without them rn.
Flying long haul probably should be expensive though it's difficult when you have family overseas.
@SoiledMyselfDuringSomeTurbulence it's true there's still some cheaper towns, but I'm amazed how much rents and prices have gone up in my home city (Bradford.) The "you'd get a palace up North for that" line has never really been true because many wouldn't want to live in those towns, but I feel like now the only cheap housing is in places I REALLY wouldn't want to live. In Scotland now and I feel like it isn't as bad there yet though bad in tourist hotspots of course.

Wow! You did amazingly well to hold onto your home. My parents were caught in the 80s 14% rates and had to downsize as the mortgage became massive. 16% is eye watering!

Only have to look at a chart mapping average income to house prices to know why you feel this way. The economy is totally broken because of housing costs.

@Boohoo76 they do not have the equivalent salary of someone earning much more. UC means people have a roof over their head - it will only pay for cheaper places, and childcare means they can afford to work.
At a guess you would not want to live somewhere UC would pay for.

No way does someone on UC get the same as someone on £75-100,000.

@Boohoo76 oh fuck off. Benefits are not a human right that the wealthier are stripped of. If you already earn enough and don't need them you don't get them, because you don't need them. It's not complicated. And don't come out with the wealthier work more/harder/smarter so shouldn't have to pay for their own stuff but for some random reason should also have the government pay for it despite the fact they have the money, because low paying jobs can be bloody hard.

You'd see kids go hungry and cold and people's lives stunted so you feel less hard done by. Makes me sick.

I probably earn less than my parents did at my age, accounting for inflation etc. but I have a MUCH better life.

They had 4 children and a big house to heat and large car to run. They were stuck in a dull Northern town due to their work. We rarely went on holiday.

I am child-free, live in a cute, energy efficient flat in one of the best cities in the world and I don't have to pay for a car because public transport is fantastic. I have a great social life and go out multiple times a week - eating out, gigs, cinema, theatre, casual drinks, etc. and go on holiday at least 4 or 5 times a year with a scattering of weekend breaks on top.

It's easy to bemoan the higher cost of housing these days, but would a bigger house actually make us happier? Who made size of one's house the measure of success??

She literally says she understands. She's not saying woe is me, she's just fucked off. And frankly rightly so.

This should not be a battle between us but a shared protest that things are not working. The situation for those in extortionate unstable and unsuited private rent, and the one in 10 London children who are homeless is a tragedy.

Over £600 a month in Tesco for 1 adult and 1 child is an awful lot.

We spend around £400, for 2 adults, 2 young children and 2 cats.

You need to record your expenses, absolutely every spend the past 3 months. See where it's going.

You should be able to spend 5k on a nice holiday, no sweat. And buy a nearly new car outright. My Dacia Sandero 1.5yr old, 12k on the clock cost me £9k. Obviously that's a cheaper car, but decent enough.

Yes in many cases they absolutely bloody do have the equivalent of someone covering all their own rent and childcare costs. And lots of people covering their own rent live in sub standard accommodation. You need a reality check.

spend about 140 a week in Tesco but that’s for absolutely everything including shampoo etc.

Spending £140 a week on the two of you, IS living comfortably. I spend £90 a week on 4 of use and that's absolutely everything including shampoo and lunches for both adults.

Yanbu. I earn less than you but also the only adult in the house so utilities etc are not shared with another bill payer.

They don't. UC only pays up to 85% of the childcare so how can it be the equivalent of paying for full time nursery?

I think you may have answered this but 75k for one person really isnt that much, I earn less but my partner and I split costs on a lot of things you're spending on your own, also mortgage and rent is a lot higher than your parents would have been. 120 a week is quite a lot for one person. We spend that for two adults and two children.

No you fuck off. I never said that people shouldn’t get benefits…but they should be a bit more understanding of why people who don’t get benefits may complain when they still don’t have any spare cash to spend on a few nice things for themself.

This is what i was thinking. I'm born and bred in London with high housing costs but
managed to go to the canary islands in august for 1 Week with my daughter. I mean it's not the Caribbean, but better than Devon.
I'm certainly not earning £75k. Why are you struggling to live on that?

They will get to own their own homes and have a decent pension though when they are old. Envy is misplaced.

So they may earn more but it’s all eaten up by the additional childcare costs. Then someone comes on here and says I earn much less than you, I don’t understand why you don’t have any spare money…errr it’s because I have to pay the full cost of something. I am not benefits bashing but the lack of understanding that someone earning a lot more than you does not necessarily make them better off is ridiculous.

Not if they are paying private rent they won’t. I’m not envious, but the lack of understanding of why earning more does not always make someone better off is beyond ridiculous.

You should be able to spend 5k on a nice holiday, no sweat. And buy a nearly new car outright. My Dacia Sandero 1.5yr old, 12k on the clock cost me £9k.

But you need to plan for that, to save up for things like holidays and identify where your priorities lie. If I wanted to spend £5k on holiday I’d need to cut back on discretionary spending and save for a few months. That’s the case for most people, including those on a good salary.

Notice the OP hasn’t said what she does with the £3.2k a month she has after her mortgage - there’s absolutely no reason why that disposable income couldn’t fund a comfortable lifestyle given she has no child related expenses.

We’ve been conditioned to think that someone earning say £20k more than us is somehow well off.

Many still think a £75k salary is huge, but not these days.

Obviously it’s all down to fixed costs and what you’re left with afterwards.

We have an early six figure household income but in no way do we feel like it. Overtaxed, too much bank interest and secondary taxes. A shocking state.

I think my generation were lucky, I’m 57 and benefited from low house prices and cheap childcare. For example , bought a house in London in 1995 on one salary after taking two years off after birth of first child, on returning to work had full time childminder for £60 per week. As percentages of salary rep this is a fraction of what people pay now. Husband and I on joint salary of £100k and have put three children through independent school(with staff fee reduction) and have paid for 11/ years of uni and associated costs. Have just paid off mortgage now have spare cash. I think we were very lucky. It’s all much tougher now.

I know what you mean - people need to read your post properly to know you’re single. Yes there are loads of people with less than you, but you’re right about the cost of living being ridiculous. My parents had a 4 bed house with a garage at my age, on one lower than average wage and had 4 children. We are stuck in a 3 bed terrace, both with professional jobs and have two children.