To have expected more in life from working to reach this salary?

[grethrow]

I’m early forties and earn 75k. I know this isn’t huge money but it’s well above average salaries in the uk. I worked hard to get to this point (I’m not saying people who earn less don’t work hard).

I guess along the way I always thought I would be able to have a really comfortable life on this salary. I have one ds who is 11 but his costs don’t really factor in much as his dad pays for most stuff (ds lives with me so dad pays a decent amount).

I assumed going on holiday would be easy but renting a cottage in Devon in a nice area for a week is around 1,500, then there’s travel costs and food etc when you’re there! Going abroad long haul is extortionate. I guess these things are just about doable for me but it’s not easy.

I am having a privileged whinge. I know that. But I do feel sometimes like maybe at 18 I shouldn’t have bothered. My parents had a similar income (taking into account inflation) and me and my brother both went to independent schools, grew up in a large home and parents had very nice cars. It wouldn’t be possible for me to go and buy a nice car outright. I know people have it much worse but I still feel cheated and like it is a slog for very little, fair of me to feel this? Do others feel this?

@Skykidsspy yes mortgage slaves.

And UK has been for sale for so long now. We don't own anything anymore. Our airports, our water, our electricity - we've sold it all to foreign companies.

And we've allowed money to be washed by Russians, and many other nations by running it through the UK property market.

I feel the market has stagnated so much recently not just because of high interest rates but because no more Russians are coming and probably quite a few are selling. This external money has been a big push on prices overall for many year, rippling out all over the country.

Apparently they are all in Dubai now... but there's still a long tail to unwind here for many non-Brit investors.

Fortunately 'Rachel from accounts' is making the UK very unpopular now and millionaires are leaving in droves. Plenty of articles about this.

I'm not sure where it leaves us though. In the end we need more money in the goverment coffers. I won't be sad to see all that investment disappear. But the pressure on population continues.

We are just so badly run as a country and have been for many many years. Both sides are bad as each IMHO.

Try living off £14.5k a year 😌

I was explaining to the boomer in laws how their 18% mortgage was still only equivalent to 20% of net household income, which was often one income.

My 16% mortgage was 62% of our incomes, it was tough but we were lucky to hang on to our home, many of our friends lost theirs. I remember the feeling of despair each time the rates went up 1%.

In no way am I minimising the current situation, I have three adult DC aged mid 20’s to mid 30’s and fully understand the struggles youngsters and young families are facing.

@PlopSofa that is simply not true. Read a bit of history.

OP is paying a quarter of salary (1200) as mortgage and happy that it’s lower than rent. Imagine the stress renters feel!!

Guarantee the parents with the large house were either mortgage free or bought it for a low multiple lending on one salary.

Theres no comparison. The rampant increases in housing costs have made us* all much poorer. Housing is the single biggest cost for most people.

*not all of us, just the serfs, not the landed gentry

My husband earns £115,000. Works such long hours and trained for 7+ years to get there. I earn 10k whilst looking after our 3 kids we still ‘struggle’ for money in the sense that we can afford food (but still have to get non branded and watch carefully what we buy) and heat so that’s fine. But we can’t afford many nicer things. Cars are bangers 15+ years old. Hardly any savings. No family holidays abroad. Can just about afford a UK break for a week. It’s just bonkers.

Yes, that does seem bonkers. You take home about £6,000 a month.
Do you have a massive mortgage and lots of debts? I presume on your salary you are not full time so don't have massive childcare costs.
Of course you're not obliged to divulge your outgoings but I am baffled to understand how you are struggling.

I don't really understand why you don't have any money when your child is 11. I am a single parent and only get around £23K and I can still afford to go on a holiday every year. If I had even £10K it would be quite life changing. Do you have a massive mortgage?

Part of the problem is this
salary 35k = take home 2200
salary 75k = take home 3600

over double the salary but nowhere near that in take home.

add in loss of child benefit and any other childcare help etc reduced and you see how it sounds a lot but isn’t!

@ForRealTurtle yes they have, military wages have increased at a slower rate than any other government department over the past 25 years.

@IVFmumoftwo DH was a corporal, they earn about £30,000. We got child benefit and UC, our rent and council tax was £300 per month. No childcare. Our mortgage and childcare cost £4,200 per month now. That is equivalent to the after tax salary of somebody earning £75,000 with student loan payments.

My 16% mortgage was 62% of our incomes @XmassssamX how long for? Did you get MIRAS?

Exactly so not breaking the bank

My income is a third of yours and I wouldn’t have a problem paying £1500 for a cottage in Devon for a week. I’ve paid around that for a week in Cornwall a few times. Every one lives to their income so maybe examine what you spend your money on.

Sorry I didn’t intend to be boomer bashing - it wasn’t my point. It was more than housing is such a huge proportion of household income, and that usually a household has more than one income.

Yeah I get that but if your bringing home that sort of wage then there’s something wrong money management wise if a UK holiday is out of reach

That’s the point of me saying “we are not the same” .

Her and her partner barely work compared to me and haven’t invested into their career the same way I have so I wouldn’t expect them to have the same lifestyle I expect on my salary.

So why should I be comparing what I have with them and then saying “ah I have more than them so it’s alright that my wages have stagnated and the cost of living has soared and I’m getting very little for what I do ”.

And yet when I was talking about MY situation - she was quick to draw the comparison and tell me I should be grateful and she was worse off when I actually wasn’t comparing us.

And just to clarify in cases there’s crossed wires - she didn’t work and was on benefits until she was late 20s. Not me - I’ve worked since age 17.

@WhiteLily1
A joint income of £125k and you're struggling? you must have huge outgoings.

This such an outdated stereotype. I’m on £120k and live in Manchester. I live in a 3 bed terrace and my mortgage payments are £3500 per month… £45k would not go far at all where I live.

The cost of housing and living has grown drastically in all big cities in the UK and living standards have dropped drastically as a result. It’s just not possible for my generation to have the same standard of living our colleagues who are 15+ years older in the same profession had.

Yes me too. It’s around 5,750 after pension.
Got hit by the increase in mortgage rates when deal finished and now mortgage is around 1900.
No childcare costs.
Kids are all tween ish age. All eating pretty much adult portions.
60x packed lunches per week for kids.
Food is £800 per month for us and cat.
Bus passes alone is £500 per month for the 3 kids - schools over 3 miles for each school.
Travel and petrol for me / DH to get to work and weekends (city for DH to earn the wage he does) is £500 per month.
So that’s already almost 4k before any other bills at all.
Electric / gas is £200. Phones and broadband for all of us is £130. Factor in clothes, expensive school uniforms (school shoes for the 3 that don’t fall apart in one term are £50-60 per pair) Insurances and council tax etc and it’s almost all gone.

60x packed lunches per week for kids.

How many kids?!

Mortgage of 1200, car 220, supermarket 560…I’m guessing about another 500 for utilities, insurances, car tax, mobile phones, streaming services etc…rounding up that’s about 2600 on a take home of £4.5k

Do you have massive transport costs, childcare or other debts?

Part of the problem is this
salary 35k = take home 2200
salary 75k = take home 3600

A salary of £75k is a take home of £4,416 with 4% pension contribution.

Exactly. What happen on these threads is low paid people make minimum pension contributions, but better off paid people put a lot into their pension, but discount these savings they are making.

In fairness she said areas of the north. And that's true. Such places exist. But obviously not places like Hale, Alderley Edge and the like. We all know 45k won't go far there!

Agree otherwise though. The cheapest areas seem to generally be in towns rather than cities, and real terms private renting has got more expensive also.

What type of work do you do? Are you in London? It is a good wage and 30k more than me (chose to take a non-corporate role for work/life balance). Life has definitely become more expensive in recent years but maybe have a good look at expenditure and see what you can cut back on (takeaway coffees and lunches during the week for a start). Where is the bulk of your money being spent, especially if you have money from ex as well?

Are we supposed to feel sorry for you? Your post has made me so angry! You have no idea how privileged you are earning this kind of salary. Many folk out there bursting there guts out working all hours under the sun for peanuts!! Get a grip!!