To have expected more in life from working to reach this salary?

[grethrow]

I’m early forties and earn 75k. I know this isn’t huge money but it’s well above average salaries in the uk. I worked hard to get to this point (I’m not saying people who earn less don’t work hard).

I guess along the way I always thought I would be able to have a really comfortable life on this salary. I have one ds who is 11 but his costs don’t really factor in much as his dad pays for most stuff (ds lives with me so dad pays a decent amount).

I assumed going on holiday would be easy but renting a cottage in Devon in a nice area for a week is around 1,500, then there’s travel costs and food etc when you’re there! Going abroad long haul is extortionate. I guess these things are just about doable for me but it’s not easy.

I am having a privileged whinge. I know that. But I do feel sometimes like maybe at 18 I shouldn’t have bothered. My parents had a similar income (taking into account inflation) and me and my brother both went to independent schools, grew up in a large home and parents had very nice cars. It wouldn’t be possible for me to go and buy a nice car outright. I know people have it much worse but I still feel cheated and like it is a slog for very little, fair of me to feel this? Do others feel this?

I'm on £65k, and worked out recently that if I had a £38k job without my current commute, I would have the same money in the bank. So, yes, sometimes, on reflection, the job may not be worth it.

This is why I’m staying in my current job, I believe I could earn at least 20K more if I went out and applied for jobs in the private sector but my current job allows me to WFH.

I attend the head office in another city once a month maximum and they pay for the travel. Along with housing, public transport is so expensive in this country. in my current role I save on housing, transport and even the combined cost of random coffees I tend to buy when I used to commute.

This is why I’m so against them forcing people back to the office en masse with no specific reason . Organisations should focus on raising wages first!

The current situation is in fact worse than it has been for some time.

It's a fact that there are NMW workers now, and also people who are retired but were low earners when they worked, who own houses or have SH whose children and grandchildren have lower access to it now. Examples of people who had to move for work a long time ago or whose properties haven't appreciated in value don't change this.

Many don’t actually.

I’d seriously hope someone earning a professional salary understood the tax system they are paying into.

And while I agree that house prices in some parts of the country need to come down, I wonder how many people saying there needs to be a correction would be happy to see the value of their own house fall as part of a house price adjustment.

Exactly @Jellycatspyjamas and I'm not sure how it's going to help the OP if the house she has a mortgage on reduces in value. It won't reduce her mortgage costs and indeed could increase them as her LTV will be higher when she comes to remortgage.

Free things.....libraries, Borrow Box, a walk, the NHS,friends, a flask of coffee.

Low cost things....Apps with food,Vinted,Charity Shops,Churches.
and so on?

if your take home and child maintenance is 4K (conservative estimate)and your mortgage 1200, it’s not cost of living it’s that you’re just not very good with money! You should easily have £1500 disposable income.

I would be happy with this. Houses are to live in. I own my house, but prices need to fall a lot.

@fedup33 OK I'm going to bite - having a good holiday DOES make me happy. It's not the same as random "stuff" like scented candles and "containers" for everything like dishwasher tablets.
Spending on travel is - for some - a deeply rewarding experience that broadens the mind and enriches the soul and takes us away from the daily grind allowing us to think more freely. AND is also is, dare I say it, a lot of fun.
For families it can be a really important bonding time with children too.
This is not a frivolous concern.

Agree with everything @SoiledMyselfDuringSomeTurbulence has said

You earn more than what me & my husband earn put together!
we still go abroad 4 times a year together and my husband goes 1/2 times a year on his own!
so where is your money going?

Not at all. It assumes our labour should have value - regardless of whether we want to use that value to buy food, Chanel dresses, or donate to charity.

That value is increasingly being siphoned off to benefit a tiny section of society, people whose wealth is now genuinely astronomical.

I don’t believe society can effectively function like that - or at least, I don’t believe society can function like that unless the people with the vast economic resources increasingly use their power to oppress those without (because if they don’t, they are at risk of revolution).

The wealth in our society is becoming increasingly polarised, and at the moment I don’t see any end to that - the wealth gap will simply keep increasing to the point where we might as well be different species.

In the Time Machine, H G Wells’ vision of Morlocks and Eloi might not be so far off the mark - we’re seeing the wealth of individuals like Musk outstrip that of whole countries - where does that leave the rest of us? That isn’t a recipe for a “society” that functions normally, it will require oppression.
.

@Jellycatspyjamas as someone who works in payroll plenty don’t understand tax…

Im happy for my house to lose value, I want my salary to go up!

Absolutely love a holiday or holidays! If you work hard, its essential. But really on that salary, the OP can't manage?

We earn more than that as a house hold but were genuinely better off when DH was in the military, I stayed at home and we got Universal Credit.

Our mortgage on a 3 bed semi in the West Midlands is £1700 a month, nursery for two children (not even full time) is £2,500 a month and student finance really take up a decent proportion of our salary.

Your parents most likely had two incomes. One house to maintain etc

Right! What are people not understanding ? Talk about race to the bottom!

I made a similar comment as the OP to a friend of mine who earns much less (I didn’t mention my wage I just said I felt I didn’t get enough back for what I earned) and she hurried to say how I should be grateful and how she’s even worse off.

What she isn’t comprehending or taking into account is that I went to uni to study in my field and I’m paying for that literally. I’m also possibly a net contributor or close to being one as I receive no benefits and have no kids. I also work two jobs which probably amount to 60+ hours a week.

She on the other hand has never worked more than 20 hours a week in her life ( didn’t work at all until late 20s) and her partner does cash in hand Jobs and collective they pay little tax. She has various benefits from having 3 kids and being in lower paid work. We are not the same! SHE should be grateful if anything for getting so many top ups.

The wealth in our society is becoming increasingly polarised

For Sure

@florasl Military wages do not seem to have stagnated as much as other wages.

Think of how much disposable income is tied up in housing & how much tax is also funnelled into private landlords hands. It’s ridiculous.

This thread summarises the decline of the UK - that there is a moral virtue seen in declining living standards

where does it come from?

I call bollocks.

@Starso you cant compare yourself to someone committing fraud.

If you do not start work until your late twenties, it takes time to build up to make that investment worthwhile. I was in full time work at 16, so had over 10 years to build my experience and skills and work my way up, before you had even entered the workforce. But you will have a much better wage as you progress in your career.

I think the difference is, is that we are the first generation that doesn't have it so good as the generation that came before us. Prior to very recently, every generation has seen an improvement in living standards, food quality, education quality, healthcare, job prospects and promotions etc.

The baby boomers had the best of everything. Then for gen x-ers, we've had more of a fight for jobs, we got lucky with the housing ladder, NHS was still functioning somewhat.

For millenials it became even harder, they missed the boat with the property ladder and huge inflation of the 2000s.

As for gen Z and gen alpha - I don't know what will happen to them. No wonder they are so depressed and full of mental health issues. Tens of thousands of debt if they go to uni and a massive fight for jobs once they come out, many just paying minimum wage. What was the point?

So as a species, we are in decline. It's the same across the Western world, even in China. We are not seeing an increase in standard of living and material wealth. We are seeing a decline and we are seeing a sharp decline further so for our children. And that's impacting the fertility rate and whether or not you choose to have kids. Our decline is very very clear. We are not even reproducing like we used to. That tells you something.

Largely it has to do with housing costs from what I can see.

Back in 1990s/2000s you could rent a room in London for £400 to 800 and get a decent place in Zone 1 or Zone 2 and you'd still have money left over for everything you needed plus more. I had dinners out, went to the pub, to theatre, cinema, on holiday. I didn't think about money and I wasn't on a huge salary. I had enough and I always had hope for more, for better, for what my parents had...

We just didn't worry about housing costs as much. Now, housing is extortionate. I'm not sure population growth, wherever it's come from, has been good for us. The pressure on housing is immense. We've also not become anymore productive as a country for many years now. We just bubble away at the same rate, over and over and yet things get worse.

Thames Water is bust. Many councils are bust. The government is in massive debt. NHS needs ever greater funding.

Private wealth is through the roof. We need a wealth tax and fairer distribution.

I'm sorry OP. You are not wrong to feel aggreived, it's the narrative we've been sold and told would happen for us too. But I'm not sure what can be done or where we went so wrong.

I was explaining to the boomer in laws how their 18% mortgage was still only equivalent to 20% of net household income, which was often one income.

I think the average house must bring home £3.5-4K a month now and mortgages are often £800-£1000. The household mostly needs 2 incomes and single income households are really punished.

OP brings home around £4K give or take student loans and pension contributions. It just doesn’t go that far and certainly not as far as the equivalent used to.

I think we’ve all been allowed to borrow too much for mortgages - it’s pushed up the market so that houses aren’t actually affordable. Private school and long haul hols are really for the super frugal or super wealthy

My husband earns £115,000. Works such long hours and trained for 7+ years to get there. I earn 10k whilst looking after our 3 kids we still ‘struggle’ for money in the sense that we can afford food (but still have to get non branded and watch carefully what we buy) and heat so that’s fine. But we can’t afford many nicer things. Cars are bangers 15+ years old. Hardly any savings. No family holidays abroad. Can just about afford a UK break for a week. It’s just bonkers.

However, apart from the late 80’s- 2010 when our parents generation made a fortune in property and final salary pensions etc, we still have more than any other generation.
As a population we have got too used to expecting a certain amount of luxuries. It’s not sustainable to keep increasing and increasing that.
My dad (late 70’s) had a tin bath in his kitchen. No inside loo or bathroom at all. Hardly anyone had a car at all when he was a kid / teenager- only really wealthy people had one. No phone, no TV. If you wanted to see a mate you cycled round their house to see if they were in.
No education for many after 15.
No maternity leave or pay. You got pregnant, you left work. When married, and got their first house, everything and I mean everything was second hand down to scraps of carpet bought from adverts in the paper.
weekends were a roast and Sunday walk. Worked on a Saturday or if not old enough helped parents or played at home or cycled with mates.
weddings were in the local church hall or small holders club.
Honeymoons were a long weekend to the isle of white if you were feeling exotic. Summer highlight was a day at the beach and that was a treat.
People now was everything new and shiny. They want expensive experiences. Holidays. Clothes, make up and expensive skin care, houses freshly decorated and adorned with new stuff. It’s just in no way comparable.