To have expected more in life from working to reach this salary?

[grethrow]

I’m early forties and earn 75k. I know this isn’t huge money but it’s well above average salaries in the uk. I worked hard to get to this point (I’m not saying people who earn less don’t work hard).

I guess along the way I always thought I would be able to have a really comfortable life on this salary. I have one ds who is 11 but his costs don’t really factor in much as his dad pays for most stuff (ds lives with me so dad pays a decent amount).

I assumed going on holiday would be easy but renting a cottage in Devon in a nice area for a week is around 1,500, then there’s travel costs and food etc when you’re there! Going abroad long haul is extortionate. I guess these things are just about doable for me but it’s not easy.

I am having a privileged whinge. I know that. But I do feel sometimes like maybe at 18 I shouldn’t have bothered. My parents had a similar income (taking into account inflation) and me and my brother both went to independent schools, grew up in a large home and parents had very nice cars. It wouldn’t be possible for me to go and buy a nice car outright. I know people have it much worse but I still feel cheated and like it is a slog for very little, fair of me to feel this? Do others feel this?

Believe me your life is a lot more comfortable than someone on 40k or 15k or less... but day to day expenses do have a way of creeping up to eat up your disposal income. Once the essential bills are paid each month what are you left with and how much of that goes on nice but not essential spends?

I think you should be able to have a very comfortable life on that salary. Where does all your money go? Are you living in house twice as big as you need? Do you fritter it away on little things that add up?

I hear you and have to give my head a wobble every now and then. I am in the same profession as my father, and our quality of life is very different. Some of this is because I live in a more expensive part of the country, but by no means all.

That said, we are far from hard up, but the contrast between generations is marked.

I know what you mean op. Similar situation here. Obviously we're really lucky, and I know others have it a lot harder, but I thought we would have more spare on the income we're on! Cost of living I guess....

It depends where you live £45k in say areas of North would be comparative to your salary in an area where housing costs are high.

OK, so you earn 75K and you get separate maintenance for your one child yet you feel like you’re not comfortable. Why don’t you lift out your ingoing and outgoing so we where your biggest expenses are? Should definitely be able to afford a holiday on that I can afford holiday less than that!

75K not huge salary? Have you checked your head this morning??

I've read a few threads in this vein recently so I assume the answer is yes other people feel like this. I saw a reel thing yesterday comparing costs of buying a new house in 2020 to now, and it worked out at over £1000 more a month now, for the same thing. I've been watching the farmers inheritance tax protests in the press and read opinions on here with interest. It made me think again that there is something fundamentally wrong with a system that means many farms are not turning a profit. It's the same thing in a way. Money doesn't go as far as it used to and no one is paid enough to keep up. I'm not sure what the answer is, we're heavily in debt as a country, services are not brilliant, and no one has money. Apart from those that do, so surely we need wealth redistribution somehow. I was just thinking this morning that I would want to say to my DC to pick a career they're interested in, and that happiness is more important than income, but is that really wise parental advice these days... Anyway I need a coffee after this!

I don't earn anywhere near that amount - have 4 kids and live in a rental and I can still afford a week in Devon and a fortnight abroad each year. Whatever you are wasting your considerable income on is your problem!

Stop comparing yourself with the ONE generation in the history of humanity who had it better and focus on how good you have it. Travel is not expensive if you get a cheap Airbnb- why would you rent a whole cottage ?!

On that salary with no child costs to consider you should be living well.

Totally get it…we have a very good income (2 earners, 1 DC) so NOT whinging, but it’s still crazy that my parents brought up 3 kids comfortably (they now own several properties) on one salary that was much less that each of ours.

For what it's worth though, you are on a lot more money than me, at the same age. I would be on about £38k full time. On paper I have a good job, senior level in public sector. DH earns more than me and we have still just had to do a full review of everything we spent over 2 months.

Everyone has seen their quality of life decrease enormously over the past decade or so.

I think a lot of younger people are having a similar experience to you OP - realising what they thought was a good income not being able to deliver the same standard of living they had growing up (even on higher incomes than their parents).

As for ‘not bothering’ - well, you’d be finding it far more challenging if you wanted less. And - being a single parent family means life is all the more expensive vs families with two incomes.

Our tax and benefits system also means higher wages don’t quite deliver what you’d expect. £75k after tax is quite a bit less than 2x people on minimum wage after tax and child benefit.

I would argue some of the issue is that yes, you have a good salary but you have ONE salary. It’s not far off two people on more average salaries, which is why you’re not feeling like you’re living the life of a high earner, you’re actually living like a two earner household with average earnings

Try being a single parent on 35k 😂😭 and I am aware that I am luckier than a lot of single parents but I don't get maintenance either!

I suspect you'll get 2 types of responses here:

1. That is a MASSIVE amount of money, how dare you complain, give your head a wobble, I am bursting with indignation, I live on 30p a week with 10 kids and we're fine! You must spend all your time frittering it away, it's probably that! Give up the avocados and the Pret and stop moaning.

2. How on earth do you manage on that? I suspect you're not in London, where that is a pittance and goes nowhere! Take in a lodger and ironing and downsize and move to Scotland and it'll be much better. Obviously this will be easy and achievable so just do it and stop moaning.

I do sympathise, I posted on another thread that our mortgage has gone from £400 to £1200 for no reason other than interest rate rises. Luckily we can afford it but it is very annoying indeed. YANBU, years ago that salary and one child would have enabled you to have a very good standard of living indeed, as you say, your parents managed it. I think all any of us can do is our best with the current cost of living, economy and our incomes and hope Labour don't fuck it up any more. Good luck.

Ha I'm stealing "privileged whinge", great phrase to replace "first world problems".

But I know what you mean, you need a lot more money now for a comfortable lifestyle that your salary (adjusted) would have afforded 10, 20, 30 years ago. I think it's tougher for you being on your own, £75k is absolutely a good single income, but 2 people on average incomes are probably bringing in more especially with more lenient tax thresholds for them. Have you reapplied for CB? You'll be entitled to some of it now when you likely wouldn't have done last year.

To anyone annoyed at the OP saying "not huge" she was probably just preparing for the "oh but it's not that much" cohort that also show up on these threads, you can't win, she recognised she was above average.

It’s the housing costs.

Cant celebrate house prices going up without realising that means we all (and our kids) have to pay more for shelter.

Ask your parents what percentage of salary their large house cost.

Housing cost is what makes us poor.

It really depends on housing costs.
I lived amazingly on 55k household income in one area with tiny mortgage, number of holidays a year, nights out, car, nof thinking about heating cost or food costs etc. In another area we would absolutely not be able to afford all we did because housing would swallow up 4x more.
75k in my last area would be flush. Not so much in area I lived before that...

I’m not saying it’s not a good earning. Or that I’m not lucky. Just that it’s nowhere near what I thought I could be able to do on this income.

I'm assuming your take home salary is about £4k a month, plus you mention maintenance and don't mention childcare costs.
So making massive assumptions then I think you need to have a big look at where your money is going.

It’s not your income, it’s your outgoings. Nobody can help you, or help you see that, without understanding where your money goes.
You may be overspending day to day, or you may have hugely over stretched on your mortgage - or you may live in London in which case £75k goes really nowhere. It’s all relative…

So what ARE you doing with that income?

As a single income household I do see your point, to a point. It's not even comparable to two average income salaries as you're fleeced for tax at a higher rate, and other pro-rata contributions I assume will also factor (pension etc).

I suppose it boils down to what your expectations are? What your save vs. spend ideal looks like? If you're struggling to make the ends meet you may want a proper review of your finances however?

Crazy, what are you spending it on?net wage is £4,505 per month. You'll be sacrificing some of that for pension no doubt. Say 15%. Leaving £3,829. Is your mortgage high say £2k a month, plus council tax say £200, leaving just £1,629 to live off??