To have expected more in life from working to reach this salary?

[grethrow]

I’m early forties and earn 75k. I know this isn’t huge money but it’s well above average salaries in the uk. I worked hard to get to this point (I’m not saying people who earn less don’t work hard).

I guess along the way I always thought I would be able to have a really comfortable life on this salary. I have one ds who is 11 but his costs don’t really factor in much as his dad pays for most stuff (ds lives with me so dad pays a decent amount).

I assumed going on holiday would be easy but renting a cottage in Devon in a nice area for a week is around 1,500, then there’s travel costs and food etc when you’re there! Going abroad long haul is extortionate. I guess these things are just about doable for me but it’s not easy.

I am having a privileged whinge. I know that. But I do feel sometimes like maybe at 18 I shouldn’t have bothered. My parents had a similar income (taking into account inflation) and me and my brother both went to independent schools, grew up in a large home and parents had very nice cars. It wouldn’t be possible for me to go and buy a nice car outright. I know people have it much worse but I still feel cheated and like it is a slog for very little, fair of me to feel this? Do others feel this?

Are your costs really high? Or are you just really bad with money?

And that house, in OP’s case, borrowing 4.5x her salary (so assuming £60k of equity as a deposit) would cost her £2,000 a month in mortgage repayments.

This is half of her monthly income.

What holiday cottages are you looking at in Devon that cost that amount for 3 people? I’ve linked one that’s nowhere near that figure and it was the first one I googled in under a minute, many more are available that don’t cost £1500.

I work in a job where I am lower paid, but work with a lot of people earning your wage or more. Some of them complain about not being able to afford to go long haul for example. I go long haul. I earn £29k, only get child benefit, and have 1 teenager.
But I find some people who earn more waste so much money. Of course you can afford to go long haul. Although if you would pay £1500 for a cottage in Devon for a week you are probably expecting 5 star luxury, rather than more ordinary holidays.

£75k and additional income from your ex....yeah you must be horrendously shit with money to be on here complaining.

What do you do?? Sounds like I need to change my career

I just checked the prices of rooms on street where I lived. I paid 250 on 5.25 NMW. Now the rooms are 800 on 11.44. So room price is 3.5x more, NMW 2.1x more. And that's shared rooms in cheaper area. Doesn't sound like much but it is.
House values are considerably more ridiculous of course.

For a dose of perspective, some children in my DS' school get free school meals because their household income is less than 7.5k a year. Just to repeat: household income annually lower than 7.5k. And often that's for multiple kids.

🤦‍♀️

I think it is about expectations. When I was at school aiming for high paying professional careers was pushed and promoted over trades etc with the promise you'd have a luxury lifestyle at the end of it. These days those careers don't buy a luxury lifestyle, they buy a very comfortable one but not what we were lead to believe.

I'm only on £23k. Take home is £1600 yet as a single parent I have to raise children and run a home. I manage. We don't have luxuries or yearly holidays unless it is staying with friends or family in other parts of the country but we have a car, food and a home - even if it is rented. I like to watch documentaries about times in history and remind myself I'm living better than royalty did bqck then with hot, running water, electricity, food, clothing and the ability to travel. Everything is relative. If I earned £75k it would be life changing.

Maybe reframe your thinking a bit? A lot of what you're saying is about buying things, what about experiences, community, service? Humans gain happiness through genuine connections and being part of something bigger than themselves, not buying new cars. That's just a zero sum game. Why play it?

I'm in a very similar position. I too earn 75k but I'm the sole earner (since DW had to leave her last job through stress). While the headline is nice, when I put our current circumstances ( teenage DCs, house in thames valley) through the IFS website https://ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in
it puts us in the bottom 8% of the population in terms of disposable income. I spent 8 years at university and a further 4 getting a professional qualification, but the salary for a role such as mine has stagnated at best since 2012. I sympathise about how hard it feels and being told that we're privileged does wear thin, even though I know that we're better off than a lot of people.

I feel like I'm running to stand still, income wise. I now earn around 50k, 5 years ago it was 40k, 20 years ago 25k. Now I've progressed through the ranks so this is not the same type of job, it's more senior/ specialist work which rightly should command a higher salary. But according to an inflation calculator, 50k today is worth 40k 5 years ago is worth 25k 20 years ago ( very approximately). So I'm only earning the same as my younger, junior self of yesteryear.

Luckily I have progressed though or I'd be on 25k today as a junior. That's how much wages have stagnated.

Take home about £4400pm, just you and one child who has a father covering costs, unless your mortgage is huge or paying loads to a pension that is an excellent income.
It really is a privilege whinge.

I am in my forties, with a terminal illness and forced to continue working as long as i can and earning less than half of what you do

So it yes it sounds like you have a horrendous life

@IDontHateRainbows exactly!

I agree. Where is your money going, do you eat out a lot. You probably could cut down a bit on your Tescos spend. Even £120 a week wouldn't be frugal for 2 people.

I would put your expenses into the Budget brain spreadsheet and work out where all the money is going.

But in general YANBU. Even taking account of inflation, I think a salary that got you a high standard of living 30 years ago will now only get you a basic standard, and what got you a basic standard 30 years ago now means you'll struggle to make ends meet. It's because housing has become so expensive.

@Notgoodatpoetrybutgreatatlit Thanks re the name :) I don't blame the current Labour government, not at all, I only hope they don't make matters worse. It's definitely years of Tory rule that have got us in the shit we're in today.

Where does your money go?

@Devonisheaven she is looking at luxury cottages. You can pay that, but you can pay way less. She could go abroad and get a villa for that cost.

You are operating on a different part of the planet OP
I suggest your privileged upbringing has influenced your perceptions

You could easily spend less than £100 a week for shopping. You might not want to, but you could. You also don't need to go on long haul holidays. Have cheaper holidays in nearby countries. I think you're complaining that (even though you're earning more than double what my final salary was) you can't do exactly what you want, when you want. Not many people can OP. Count your blessings.

Go short haul

People get so predictably triggered on here, even when an OP bends over backwards to say they are just having a “privileged whinge”!

their point is sound - you reach a salary with certain expectations of what it will get you, and more often than not the crazy price increases leave you feeling disappointed. That holds true whether you are on 75k, 175k or 750k - money just doesn’t go as far as we think it should.

You are operating on a different part of the planet OP
I suggest your privileged upbringing has influenced your perceptions

Always the race to the bottom