To call myself 'Mrs' even though I'm unmarried?

[DottyBaguette]

In the past I've used Miss/Ms. My preference is Ms, I think Miss sounds very young.

I've never been married. Two teenagers. Live with them in my own house, everything paid for by me as I've always worked and never had a man to depend on, I can't imagine ever risking my financial independence.

I've noticed that post 40, I'm almost always assumed to be 'Mrs'. School teachers, tradespeople, even the bank, refer to me as 'Mrs'. I used to correct it but now I can't be bothered. Why should men not be defined by their relationship status but women are?

So aibu just to let the assumptions continue and even start ticking 'Mrs' on forms, so I don't have to correct people who obviously think most women over 40 are 'Mrs'?

I tried to correct the bank, who seemed to think I'd need to post all sorts to get 'Mrs' changed to 'Ms'. So I left it, that was several years ago, so obviously the bank thinks I'm happily married...

I'm in my 60d and been married nearly 40 years. I'm nearly always Ms Sometimes people use Mrs but I cba to correct them.

Recently on non official sites and forms (shopping and SM mainly) I've started using alternative titles Lady, Dr and Revd have all appeared. It's pointless but it makes me smile.

If you're married why on earth are you using MUZZ,?

It would be neither.

"Mrs" basically means you belong to a man. As in, "Mister's".

No it doesn't. The modern usage of Mrs to indicate a married woman really only dates from the late 19th century. Prior to that it generally indicated a woman of social standing and/or one who governed servants or apprentices.

The root of both Miss and Mrs is Mistress; it has nothing to do with "Mister's"

An interesting article here:

https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/mistress-miss-mrs-or-ms-untangling-the-shifting-history-of-titles

I think Ms works well in written communication but not in everyday spoken interactions.
I think many people will revert to using Mrs when talking to or about a women over 40 who they don't know well. When trying to be respectful.

I'd say go with it. Regard it as a formal use for an older woman which is how it is used in reality.
Like Madame in french.

Ms has never really caught on to replace Mrs because it's really still associated with younger women as a replacement for Miss and it sounds so awkward no one really uses it except in writing.
(And people on Mumsnet who seem to live in an alternative reality).

Correct people, if they make assumptions. You are happily unmarried, so why allow people to think you are, when you're not and it bothers you that people just assume. Yes, it's tedious having to correct people and I agree people shouldn't assume. I constantly have to spell out my married surname, which is also tedious, but I always correct people!

If you don't think women should be defined by their marital status (I entirely agree with you), I'd stick with Ms. I'm married and have always used Ms for this reason. I wish it was more normalised.

I do this too. When I feel like being "proper" I use Mrs because I chose to be that when I married just as I chose to take my late husband's name.

Haven't read the entire thread so maybe someone else already said, but in this the French are more enlightened than us.

A few years ago they "officially abolished" mademoiselle, so all women of any age, married or not, are now simply Madame, just as all men are Monsieur.

@ToSleepPurchancetoDream

I think Ms works well in written communication but not in everyday spoken interactions.

Definitely. Because Ms sounds incredibly silly when spoken out loud. I still think it's daft on written communication though!

Because Mrs is inherently sexist, at a guess. Men's titles change when they become adults, not when they get married. It should be the same for everyone.

It doesn't sound sillier than any other title.

I know lots of women who use it on forms etc.

But no-one who requests to be addressed as such when speaking to them.
It's really not caught on as a respectful way to address women in every day.
e.g a waiter would never say 'would Ms like me to get her coat?' we revert to the french Madame for such formality

It's a real gap in our current language use and Ms hasn't solved it because it sounds crap and is still associated as a replacement for Miss.

I’ve always used Ms, when unmarried, married, and now divorced, eg on forms. However if others use Mrs to me I don’t bother correcting them, life’s too short to care.

It sounds like a unformed uncompleted sound.
People do not like trying to say it.

YANBU. You aren’t really identifying as Mrs. Just running out of steam to keep on correcting people. It’s not your job to keep on correcting their outdated misogyny.

I often hear this, but I have no problem at all saying it. Maybe I am saying it differently from everyone else.

You run the risk of fraud if you assign a title that's not correct.
This may get you into hot water with banks and insurance because they often ask for 'status' as well- so Mrs would be married/widow/divorced.

I disagree with the idea that Miss= young.
I've unmarried friends in their 50s who are quite ok with Miss.

I can't bear Ms! It's pointless.
Either you're married or single, or choose to keep your birth surname for professional purposed and hence Miss is often used.

There is no stigma attached to being single.
I chose to get married and want to use Mrs.

My best friend is unmarried and has children and still uses Miss.

'Mizz' (where does "Muzz" come from?) sounds pretty normal to me. But I know a lot of women who use it - both married and single. And if you are married why do you have to use "Mrs" ? Men don't have to advertise their change of status, so why should women?

I'm married and use Ms (which sounds nothing like Muzz when I say it and I am not sure why you keep putting it in caps). I haven't changed my surname so it would be a bit weird to be Mrs Maidenname. I was Ms Moth before I was married and Ms Moth now, never had to change anything.

Yep I’m married and hate “Mrs”, always refer to myself as Ms. I’m looking forward to explaining why to my daughter when she is old enough. I can see why you’re getting irritated by it but I wouldn’t be able to bow to the system!

I'm Miss, and have been since the day I was born. I see no need to change the name I've always used just to appease some social norm I have no interest in, and I won't be told what I may or may not call myself by either men or women.

'Ms' is not to my taste, so I won't use it but I don't care if others do. I do like to switch it up with 'Brigadier' or 'Wing Commander' if online shopping at Liberty or Fortnum's 😀

I often hear this, but I have no problem at all saying it. Maybe I am saying it differently from everyone else.

Nah, it's not you it's them. IME there are certain sorts of people who make a hoo-hah about 'muzz' being 'difficult'.
It might be more obvious if it was written Mz I suppose but everyone seems to cope with Mrs being pronounced 'Missis' etc.

Me neither. It’s no less awkward and non-intuitive to say than ‘Mrs’

I am married, and i call myself Ms or Miss!!!!

I didn't take DH's surname , and don't wish to be perceived as "wife of"

Our naming conventions are terribly out of sync with modern society.

Women should have the same prefix whatever the marital status, in the same way that men do

It is actually quite infuriating.