To call myself 'Mrs' even though I'm unmarried?

[DottyBaguette]

In the past I've used Miss/Ms. My preference is Ms, I think Miss sounds very young.

I've never been married. Two teenagers. Live with them in my own house, everything paid for by me as I've always worked and never had a man to depend on, I can't imagine ever risking my financial independence.

I've noticed that post 40, I'm almost always assumed to be 'Mrs'. School teachers, tradespeople, even the bank, refer to me as 'Mrs'. I used to correct it but now I can't be bothered. Why should men not be defined by their relationship status but women are?

So aibu just to let the assumptions continue and even start ticking 'Mrs' on forms, so I don't have to correct people who obviously think most women over 40 are 'Mrs'?

I tried to correct the bank, who seemed to think I'd need to post all sorts to get 'Mrs' changed to 'Ms'. So I left it, that was several years ago, so obviously the bank thinks I'm happily married...

I think I will start using Mistress as a default, rather than the abbreviations.

Mistress Wideskye

Mrs is actually short for Mistress, the term used in the past for any woman, married or not. Nothing to do with ownership. Look it up.

I'm married but have always been Ms. I wouldn't correct anyone who addressed me as Mrs, but I wouldn't tick it on a form.

I've been using 'Mrs' from my late teens.

Never been married.

I noriced that some receptionists treated me more like an adult at the doctors after I put it in error the first time. And have used it ever since.

I'm not too bothered about it really. Prefer not being Miss as it makes me sound like a primary school girl. But I do love choosing something random from a drop down list of titles. Archbishop. Duchess. Reverend Mother.

I don't think being Ms or Mrs is really sticking it to the Man - I doubt they notice or care. If you want to protest about the female title thing, the only effective way (imo) is for us all to be Queen.

Ha. I’m known as Queen of Mayhem by many!

Yes you have had it wrong all this time - it just means you prefer not to be defined by your marital status. I have been Ms as an unmarried teenager, unmarried but partnered 20 year old and a married 30-50 year old.

It is a relatively common misconception though, I used to work for a publication where we would full name someone the first time we mentioned them in an article then for every other mention use their title plus surname. We used Mr for all men, and Ms for women, all women, because it's ridiculous to have to phone up someone you are quoting and ask if they are married or not.

Most publications just go for surname eg (Amber Fawn said she has always thought Ms indicated you were divorced. "Have I had it wrong all this time?" asked Fawn) but for some reason this magazine didn't ((Amber Fawn said she has always thought Ms indicated you were divorced. "Have I had it wrong all this time?" asked Ms Fawn) . Anyway most people were fine but every so often I would get a woman spitting feathers about being called Ms "because its for divorced women".

Do whatever you want. I'm divorced and still Mrs.

Putting Mrs on forms would be fraudulent and weird if you are not married.

@DottyBaguette I guess you can call yourself whatever you want. But wanting to be called Mrs when you've NEVER been married is rather odd IMO.

It's not something I'd do. I also don't see how being a 'Miss' sounds childish/makes you sound young.

I absolutely loathe ms pronounced MUZZ. Makes me cringe! 😬

My grandfather's sister lived to 93, and never got married. She had 3 long term relationships (10, 15, and 23 years,) in her adult life, and was always Miss, and very proud of being Miss. Even at 93, she was Miss Violet Jackson.*

(*nb not her real name obvs!)

For the life of me, I can't understand why I changed my name, never ever had any intention to but I did anyway .

But I've always been Ms not Mrs.

Why should your preference apply to ALL women? We might not all want that

OK, I'll bite - explain how it is fraudulent?

Why do we even need them anymore? The only use I have for them is if I am unsure whether a first name is male or female?

Does anyone know if there are actually a need for them?

Ah, me too - Waitrose is particularly good for this sort of thing.

I'm sure there a mailing list out there with Admiral AffIt on it. That was a happy day, second only to the one on which I am Marchioness AffIt.

Most women I know use Ms regardless of whether they’re married or not now. Mrs seems outdated, like changing your surname to your husbands, or giving your children your partners name if you’re not married.

I find it bizarre and archaic that we have to choose between three titles where men have just Mr, but I suppose that's because Ms sounds clumsy and not many women use it. The sad thing is that women are judged by their title where men are not. I prefer the Latin way of becoming Señora, Signora or Madame at a certain age, whatever your marital state. Personally I think we should scrap all titles and just be known by our forenames (or initials) and surname. Choose whatever you prefer, whatever is most comfortable for you, it's your choice and no-one else's.

Do what you want, I would prefer no title or one that doesn't have an association with marriage, I use Miss but I am married

I remember as a child, my mother having letters sent to her with
"Mrs < father's first name> <father's surname>" on the envelope.

I remember looking at that and thinking she didn't exist except as an extension or possession of my father. So I've always been Ms with my own first and surname and happily correct people who try to address me as Mrs.

Do what suits you.
I sm married 35 years, kept my own name, go by Ms., I don't correct teachers who call me Mrs childs surname.

I think in this day and age you can be whatever you want to be, Lady?

I am divorced but I still put Mrs

I agree! MUZZ is fucking dreadful. No way is anyone going to force that hideous title on me! 😬

Anyway, I would burst out laughing every time someone addressed me as MUZZ Lucy Thomas.* I'd say 'LOL behave yourself!' 😆

(*nb not my real name obvs!)

I also hate this.

I am Dr so often get away with this by ticking that box, but even though I am married, and where there isn't a Dr option, I will tick Ms.

Mrs should be abolished.

This is a fantastic strategy - love it! Either that or saying 'It's Mistress, actually'.

Now I don't know any women who call themselves MUZZ. Even highly educated professionals are just Miss or Mrs.