To call myself 'Mrs' even though I'm unmarried?

[DottyBaguette]

In the past I've used Miss/Ms. My preference is Ms, I think Miss sounds very young.

I've never been married. Two teenagers. Live with them in my own house, everything paid for by me as I've always worked and never had a man to depend on, I can't imagine ever risking my financial independence.

I've noticed that post 40, I'm almost always assumed to be 'Mrs'. School teachers, tradespeople, even the bank, refer to me as 'Mrs'. I used to correct it but now I can't be bothered. Why should men not be defined by their relationship status but women are?

So aibu just to let the assumptions continue and even start ticking 'Mrs' on forms, so I don't have to correct people who obviously think most women over 40 are 'Mrs'?

I tried to correct the bank, who seemed to think I'd need to post all sorts to get 'Mrs' changed to 'Ms'. So I left it, that was several years ago, so obviously the bank thinks I'm happily married...

I opened a new bank account a few years ago. I had written Ms on my application but they sent out letters to Mrs. I was on the phone to them about another issue and asked for it to be corrected when they were updating the other issue. The woman on the phone was very apologetic and said she would correct it straight away and asked if I was happy to accept compensation of £50 for the inconvenience.

Married 20+ years and never used Mrs. Do whatever you want.

OP your bank are being outrageous. They should adjust it immediately without fuss.

When I got my first bank account there was no option other than Miss or Mrs, so I asked them just to put my name, no title. They said no. I wrote to the bank manager ( we had such posts then) addressed to Mr xxx xxx MARRIED on the envelope. Maybe a co incidence but soon after they allowed just name, no title.

Gradually over the years i have changed my title from Miss to Ms. This was harder than i thought it would be, including my bank asking for 'proof'. I also put Ms for DD too which has confused some people. If i am called Mrs i usually do correct.

I think the best way to stick it to this patriarchal tradition is to correct people and stick to Ms. The question is always ‘Is that Miss or Mrs?’ and my answer is always ‘Neither, it’s Ms’.

If you can pronounce bizz, fizz or lizz then Ms shouldn’t be difficult.

My exact thoughts!

If there's no MS option for something online, for example, I will choose Mr.

I think when you get to a certain age Mrs is the default.

I just let it go, it's too much hassle and sometimes a bit "po-faced" especially when it's a passing relationship.

I became a Mrs at 19 when I married, I did feel odd and old to be called Mrs Relic but now I am middle aged, it suits me😃

I'd like to go to a system similar to the French one one miss as a child, Mrs as an adult.

like master & mr I suppose.

i prefer Ms (miss feels too young) Mrs Leaves is my Mum. But there's always a 'is that Miss or Mzzz' moment which I hate.

You can use whatever you want and feel most comfortable will.

I'm divorced but kept Mrs. I'm not Miss, and I've always disliked how Ms sounds. So Mrs remained (and I still kept my married surname too). In the 8 years I've been divorced I've only had one person question about "my husband" and I told them I didn't have one.

I'm not married. I'd correct the bank or a big firm but the plumber sends me invoices addressed to Mrs R and I don't really care enough to correct that.

It doesn't mean that at all, and that is a folk (i.e. incorrect) etymology. It's a contraction of Mistress (as is Miss) which is simply the feminine of Master.

Mrs was used for both married and unmarried women until very recently: Fielding and Defoe use it for unmarried women in their books. Mrs being used exclusively for married women is a modern development.

You can use whatever title you want. Your choice of title isn't a legal thing, so if you prefer Mrs you can use that.

I also get addressed as Mrs [DP's name] a lot and I personally just politely correct people - we're not married and even if we were, I wouldn't use his surname. But if you don't actually mind being called Mrs then there's no reason you shouldn't just use that title.

I've noticed that post 40, I'm almost always assumed to be 'Mrs'. School teachers, tradespeople, even the bank, refer to me as 'Mrs'. I used to correct it but now I can't be bothered.

I totally would because of this. I used to go by Dr and Ms, but once I'm over 40, I have become Mrs. It's the title of more mature women in most people's head, not married women. I noticed my children does it too for teachers at the school. Old teachers are Mrs X and young teachers are Miss Y. I can't be bothered correcting people anymore.

Thanks for this thread. I'm a Ms, and since I've had kids, mysteriously I've been turned into a Mrs without anyone asking me. So tedious.
Love all that background about what Mrs. Miss and Ms. stand for, @EBearhug I didn't know any of that.

Basically this. In official documents, I put Dr MaidenName. I've turned into Mrs according to everyone else because I'm 50.

I’m Ms because I’m married but that’s no-one’s business other than my own. Sometimes I go for Mrs (for example, if I’m at a dinner as my husband’s +1). But generally Ms and especially at work.

I'm married burt kept my name and go by Ms as, like you, I feel miss is too young sounding. Especially as I'm in my early 30s.

Yes the bank was bizarre. I think I opened the account over the phone so someone their end ticked the wrong box. Then when I called to change it, there was a load of admin and ID to provide so I didn't bother.

I like the French way too - Mademoiselle for a young girl and Madame for a woman.

Ditto.

If I used Mrs I'd be expected to use it with my husband's surname. But that's not my surname, not on any ID or account I have.

So I'm Ms C F Face and he's Mr A N Other.

I've taken it the other way and only refer to myself as Miss even though I, too, am in my forties with older children. If men can have the same title the whole way through, I'm sticking with Miss.

Deliberately ticking the wrong box is weird, but it is true that once you hit 40 it doesn't matter how much you tick Ms or Miss, you will be addressed as Mrs. I don't bother correcting it because it isn't important enough to pull someone up on, but it does remind me every time that I am a certain age.

I had always thought Ms indicated your were divorced? Have I had it wrong all this time.
I use Ms btw. I like PP point about French use of Madame

I hated being called Mrs, it always felt like it wasn't quite me(probably the marriage wasn't right). When I separated I called myself Ms but I went back to Miss about 5 years ago as I much prefer it.

Well no in my experience they use Ms. As the default. By using Mrs you are going against what the goal for the majority of women. A marriage status free title.

I am married 20+ years, separated now never used Mrs not ever called Mrs.