Work Christmas Lunch - Truth or a Lie re. Attendence

[Recruitmentangst]

Just as it says on the tin, really!

Civil servant. Middle management. Decent salary.

Staff Christmas lunch this year is £40?! (Organised by the HEOs - so more junior and therefore lower salary). I feel really awkward saying ‘£40 is to much for two courses, not including any drinks’ when they earn about £30K less than me (pre-tax). But equally…it’s far more money than I want to spend.

So, AIBU to be completely honest (both with my team and with my own line manager) that £40 for Christmas lunch is just too much for me to spend? I don’t want to lie - I don’t think it’s necessary and I don’t think it’s a good example to set and I’m very much a believer of being honest about finances - but equally it feels a tad insensitive to be blunt when my salary is much more…

YABU: suck it up and go, or tell a white lie.

YANBU: £40 is a ridiculous amount to expect people to spend on food alone for a work event and you should be honest.

😂 who pissed on your cornflakes.

Clearly you don't have a clue either.
i stoped reading after this

But that's the inherent problem when these things are self funding.
Go for cheapest option. Everyone moans about it. Go for middle option everyone moans. Go for expensive option everyone moans.
Those that never go to anything moan the loudest.
If you don't want to go, invent a clash of something immovable like a hospital appt.

You were the one who made the snarky response - if you're rude to people, expect them to be rude back. Good life lesson for you.

Did I?????😂😂

Well thank you so much for educating me. Your good deed done for the day ❤️

I would just say you are not going - you don't need a reason and if they ask then you can say it is more than I want to spend although I appreciate it can be difficult to find somewhere inexpensive but nice at this time of year.
I'm not going to my work's meal and it is paid for and at a nice place. They just asked for us to let them now re numbers for booking and we just replied with if we were going or not.

was reading this the exact same way as an EO *misses the point of the thread entirely haha

I think the time to have been honest was when it was first mooted and before it took hold. I agree it's a lot of money and leads to pressure on people and I think that probably needed saying by someone with a bit more seniority at the off set. You won't be the only one who feels this way, and someone needs to say. That said, it's too late now really as it's all no doubt booked and arranged, so probably at this point I'd just say I wasn't going then speak up next year.

@5128gap it was first mentioned yesterday!

As it is, I spoke to my team and said that unfortunately I couldn’t afford £40 and I was really sorry but that £40 (+ other costs) just wasn’t something I could afford atm.

They were thrilled as it turns out most of them couldn’t afford it either and just didn’t want to
let ME down by not being sociable (particularly after last year when I remarked it was so expensive and apparently they all regretted it after as a waste of money) ! So we’re all going to go to Spoons

I am over the moon. Honesty was definitely the best policy.

Of course this happened 😂

Sorry, assumed they'd planned earlier! Good for you. You often find that once one person says something others feel the same. Hope you have a lovely time.

What about the people who organised it and chose the £40 menu?

So you moaned last year that theyd arranged something for £60, this year you didn't bother to organise everything yourself but they arranged something for £40 and you moaned again and then they all agreed to go to Spoons? If they'd been bothered about you attending surely they'd have reacted to your feedback from last year and spoke to you before they organised this year? Also impressive it was possible to make a booking so late and get away without having to make a deposit for the booking at this time of year. Presumably the people who arranged the £40 meal and those who agreed to go were excited for it- sorry but I don't buy people were only going to please you when they didn't even know you were going. This is very much giving higher management vibes and a good reason people don't often to bother inviting them.

Honestly if you did gather your team to explain you couldn't go because of the cost is extremely cringe. It would have been embarrassing to feel the need to tell them all anyway.

@HotCrossBunplease They are fine with the option given, when I said I couldn’t afford it so I wouldn’t be able to go (but I was more than happy for them to go without me) others came out and admitted they couldn’t either.

Part of the reason I said last year it was too expensive was because it was. But, equally, this time last year £40 would have been more doable, but now it’s not. Not with the cost of everything going up and our, quite frankly, abysmal pay rises.

And to those of you saying management should not talk about money…we 100% should. Line managers should be able to have conversation about team socials and costs and issues like that with their team, and if you don’t like your manager being open and honest then that says a lot about you. 😀

It's not the talking about money as much as feeling the need to announce you aren't going and why when other people have organised it. Honestly it's so cringe, you just know their group chat is popping off.

My dh work is the same £30 to attend a meal no drinks he's not going he's told his boss no they actually didn't seem happy about it when he declined

I am glad this had a positive outcome.

£40 seems very reasonable to me. If it's not reasonable to you then don't go.

Totally depends on whether you will enjoy it once there, and will the more junior staff benefit from some informal time with you too? If so, £40 is pretty much par for the course. If you don’t want to go, then don’t.

I wouldn’t lie - if several did that they might then amend the date!! White lies can backfire…..

I’d be so pissed off if my Xmas do was in spoons 😂🤷‍♀️

Id rather be at home. Guarantee half of them cancel on the day because they can’t be arsed to make an effort for spoons.

Each to their own but to me spoons is a meeting place for a quick one before going somewhere else. It's not something I'd want for my Christmas do.
Surely to book a table for a group in December you've all paid a deposit?

If the people organising are on your team, I’m surprised you - or whichever senior person is at the head of the “unit” whose party it is - didn’t have a discussion around budgets and parameters first, particularly given the issues the year before. I worked in the civil service for a few years and had to organise the Christmas Party a couple of times (which I did not enjoy doing, incidentally) and things like this would all have been discussed and cleared before anything went out inviting people.

For the sake of everyone involved, I’d adjust the approach next year.

Yes let's make literally everything at work intolerable and take away the last bastions of what might be enjoyable for some.

£40 is average in my area for a Xmas meal in a restaurant though it is three courses. Hospitality sector is struggling so have put prices up but then people can’t afford it so the prices go up again. Gone are the days of £25 for Xmas party. I used to organise my work one for many years and once it hit £35 we had to rethink. But we had parties in hotels with 3 course meal and disco for £25.

Hurrah, a great resolution. Enjoy!

£40 around this time of year is a lot of money.

Maybe if you’re honest about it - more people will feel comfortable doing the same. Maybe suggest an alternative.

Last year we found one for £15 to £25 and we let people vote on what they were comfortable spending. We also have folks who don’t drink and shouldn’t be expected to go hang out at a pub.

Look what’s on your area and see what people are up for.