Work Christmas Lunch - Truth or a Lie re. Attendence

[Recruitmentangst]

Just as it says on the tin, really!

Civil servant. Middle management. Decent salary.

Staff Christmas lunch this year is £40?! (Organised by the HEOs - so more junior and therefore lower salary). I feel really awkward saying ‘£40 is to much for two courses, not including any drinks’ when they earn about £30K less than me (pre-tax). But equally…it’s far more money than I want to spend.

So, AIBU to be completely honest (both with my team and with my own line manager) that £40 for Christmas lunch is just too much for me to spend? I don’t want to lie - I don’t think it’s necessary and I don’t think it’s a good example to set and I’m very much a believer of being honest about finances - but equally it feels a tad insensitive to be blunt when my salary is much more…

YABU: suck it up and go, or tell a white lie.

YANBU: £40 is a ridiculous amount to expect people to spend on food alone for a work event and you should be honest.

Unexpected hospital appointment clash, if pushed say it’s lady garden-related. If asked for more details, say ‘I’ve waited months for this colposcopy, I can’t reschedule, sorry’. That’ll be the last you hear of it and you’ll have the day off presumably?

Not too different then, a fancy gastro pub here is £18 for a beef dinner and £9 for a prawn starter, so £27 for 2 courses. I mean a Christmas lunch isn't hugely different from a Sunday lunch so I wouldn't expect to be paying £13 extra for any extra trimmings on the dinner (and assuming it's turkey not beef!).

Sorry you have to pay to attend a work event ? Is that correct ? I have never been asked to pay - not even when I worked in a shop.

No way would I be spending my own money for a work related event. Even a fun one.

Just say you won't be going, (or you won't be able to go, if that's too blunt). You don't owe anyone an explanation.

If any of your colleagues asked why you aren't going, just say "family reasons". It's not a lie, but it avoids the truth.

You pay for yourself in the public sector.

I’m in the north of England. Finding somewhere doing a Christmas menu under £40 a head is good going! Have you seen the cost of eating out recently?

When you factor in the usual cost inflation for Christmas, £40 is a very middle of the road price. The local curry restaurant me is £35, and the cheap local Turkish restaurant is £30 for two courses, up from £18 in their summer “special offers”.

Christmas menus from late November to New Year are always more expensive than eating out at other periods. Surely you’ve noticed that?

Then I wouldn’t be attending. Simple as that.

Why would you ?

I eat out all the time, but I wouldn't choose the Christmas menu usually (and don't go out for a work Christmas set lunch or anything) so probably never noticed. I didn't realise they bump up the prices so much, like I said a 2 course Sunday lunch isn't that much, but people obviously must pay the prices.

As a senior I think you need to have an honest conversation about the need to be sensitive about the cost of living situation and that your prefer they organise something more affordable instead of alongside it.

My brother is a G6 and he typically goes for a pub and buys a thank you drink for his 20 staff members. The G7s then buy their teams a drink and then it's pay your own way.

@Msmoonpie yes you have to pay and go on your own time as its taxpayers money

It seems a lot without booze. The ones we had were usually a set meal with about half a bottle each, or 3 beers. The budget was around £35. That was a while ago though. They must have left it too late and can only book somewhere a bit too high in price. Just be honest. 'I'd love to come but it's out of my price range I'm afraid. Christmas budget is really tight this year. Hope you have a great time.' they can't exactly hate you for it?

I am also civil service (B1 in SG) and our Christmas lunch is £39. That’s for 3 courses, drink and tea/coffee. I don’t think it’s realistic to expect a Christmas meal for less than that honestly. I don’t think the meal/party itself is expensive but it does add up when you include new outfit, taxis and drinks.

If you don’t want to go then just say you can’t make it this year, it doesn’t need to be made overly complicated.

Why the surprise at that.

I'm in LA and we get nothing at all, for anything

It's not compulsory so just don't go. Offer to stay behind and answer the phone?

We have an office lunch out, that we pay for ourselves, because public sector and about 50/60% of the office go and the rest don't for their own reasons. Some don't like to be sociable, for others it could be cost. Ours is £35 and I admit that I did intake breath when I saw the cost, as it's a lot for a nice pub lunch round here.

But most people are sociable and actively want to have a nice lunch with colleagues so many people do go. But I agree that the cost could be prohibitive for some - perhaps next year suggest something at work where you get pizzas, fish and chips etc delivered and maybe have a quiz instead?

But I did decline the evening do because that's £60 for a bland looking turkey dinner and dancing at a city centre hotel, but hardly anyone goes to that these days.

Civil servant. The money if we didn’t pay would come out of tax payers expenses - which tbh would be grossly unreasonable. No way should tax payers be paying for civil servants (or any public sector servant) to have a Christmas lunch/work drinks etc.

Because as I said even basic shelf stacking jobs at least pay for something.

Im surprised anyone goes at all if you have to pay for it yourselves.

Almost 6 million people work in the public sector.. that would be £240m on Christmas parties @ £40 a head 🥲

It’s not so much that you can’t spend tax payers money - it’s more they still have the event but expect staff to pay and want to attend that I find bonkers.

Although clearly some people do.

I would never ever spend my own money for an employer.

£60 😳 Was that for HEOs and upwards? My BIL who's one wouldn't countenance that amount for a work do unless it was all in. Even £40 would be pushing it with him 😃

£40 seems like the going rate here - I can in Oxfordshire which is an expensive area. For that it’s 2 courses and a hot drink. Around here non Christmas menus would have mains between £18 and £25, and desserts around £10. So add on the Christmas bits (crackers, extra staff etc) it isn’t outrageous but eating out has become more expensive like everything else.

It's standard that in the public sector that you have to pay your own way for socialising, but surely that comes with an understanding that the events aren't compulsory? I've never felt pressured to attend a works do, it's very normal for people to decline and not necessarily give a reason.

For many people it's not necessarily the cost of the event itself but the extras - travel costs, babysitters etc.

I'm going to a works do but only for an hour or so as I live far from work and will be getting the train home!

No one has to attend. Invariably they're arranged by members of the team rather than a coordinated department or management effort for people who want to go. OP is for some reason making a big deal of it when I would be very surprised if anyone was that bothered if they went or not (same applies to others not just OP).

Could you say something like you believe it to be too expensive given the COL and the fact there are a range of salaries within the department? I think if your own gut feeling is it’s too much you could also say that you don’t want to price people out or seem insensitive to those that may be struggling esp at this time of year.

Be honest.

£40 for two courses at a Christmas do, assuming it's not a tatty local boozer, is probably not that much. I don't mean it's not a lot to spend and lots of people have that money, i mean that's what it costs.
The fact is not that it's a lot for 2 courses, it's that you don't want to spend that much on your works do.

I think you may be stuck in price brackets that you formed 10 years ago.

The most basic and probaby low quality Christmas lunch will be £30 per head now. £40 means you're a couple of rungs up the ladder and hopefully getting something nice.