Work Christmas Lunch - Truth or a Lie re. Attendence

[Recruitmentangst]

Just as it says on the tin, really!

Civil servant. Middle management. Decent salary.

Staff Christmas lunch this year is £40?! (Organised by the HEOs - so more junior and therefore lower salary). I feel really awkward saying ‘£40 is to much for two courses, not including any drinks’ when they earn about £30K less than me (pre-tax). But equally…it’s far more money than I want to spend.

So, AIBU to be completely honest (both with my team and with my own line manager) that £40 for Christmas lunch is just too much for me to spend? I don’t want to lie - I don’t think it’s necessary and I don’t think it’s a good example to set and I’m very much a believer of being honest about finances - but equally it feels a tad insensitive to be blunt when my salary is much more…

YABU: suck it up and go, or tell a white lie.

YANBU: £40 is a ridiculous amount to expect people to spend on food alone for a work event and you should be honest.

Doesn't matter if you earn £40k or £50k, everyone has different financial commitments, someone on £40k could be better of financially than someone earning £50k even though they earn less money. £40k could have 0-1 children and a husband, £50k could be only income or have 2-4 children

I would be honest and say you don't feel like you can pay that much and respectfully decline the invitation

You haven't yet factored in the cost of alcohol/drinks, possible secret santa's etc

No is not a sentence.

i think that’s fair enough- would be nearer £50 with drink and tip. I’d be honest.

I'd just say that you can't attend, then off the record state the reason if you have a discreet verbal opportunity.

My Christmas do is supposed to be a budget of £25 each from our employer, which will pay for piss all. We're all based around the country, and attending will cost a likely three figure bill each for the sake of a £25 benefit.

If they get their act together and organise something, I'll decline if it doesn't fall in with a usual work trip in that location anyway.

But I won't protest unless asked.

Please be honest. There may be others who feel the same and so perhaps in future years something more modest will be proposed.

Organising events is a PITA.

If you can afford it (even if it's more than you wanted to spend ideally), I would suck it up and go this year, unless you're comfortable with the idea of not having an office Christmas lunch organised at all in subsequent years. If you believe in the endeavour, you should support it even if the outcome is not perfect.

Why don't you take charge next year and offer to organise? I'm sure everyone will be delighted if you manage to find somewhere nice with 3 courses and a glass of wine for £25.

“£40 is more than I anticipated for this event so I’m giving it a miss. Thanks for organising and I hope it goes well.”

or

”Sorry, I can’t make the Christmas party this year, hope you have a great time and thanks for organising”

Just acknowledging that someone made the effort to organise it whether you are open about the reason or not would help.

It is in my department 😁

I’m actually the same age as my HEOs and regularly socialise with them. Just on this occasion it’s too expensive!

But nice generalisations there

Why would you make a big deal out of this? It's not mandatory to go, £40 is what it's costing this year for Christmas meals (I've organised ours and the prices are all high), if you can't go just decline. No one will be that bothered, and perhaps you can offer to arrange it next year?

If I factor in secret Santa and commuting it would come to £100 (without the alcohol). TBH I’d love to do a lunch in the office where we just bring in nibbles, but no one else wants to do that!

But yes, I will be honest and see how it goes 😊

I do events - £40 for Christmas is cheap. Nevertheless - If i were you - just be honest, why the need to lie?

Depends on your department and your G5/6/7. Ours had a very small pot allocated for wellbeing and a slightly larger pot for reward and recognition. Buying £100 worth of pizza to recognise the achievements of the team over the year is rare but isn’t unheard of.

Say no in solidarity for the people who can’t afford it!! £40 isn’t very inclusive is it.

This absolutely. I don't think your salary is relevant. Its a fact of life that unless you are a multi millionaire, some people's non negotiable outgoings will vary regardless of salary. if it were me, I'd just say cheerfully "sorry folks not this year" and decline to comment further. so no, I wouldn't lie but also my financial decisions and opinions are my business so I wouldn't comment on the price of the meal. If I was senior in the business though and juniors were feeling pressured to go when they obvs couldn't afford it, THEN I would stick my beak in on their behalves.

What amount for a Christmas lunch do you think would be 'inclusive'?

I was in a similar situation, but I just said "Sorry, I can't make it on that date" rather than "You've got to be kidding, HOW MUCH?".

If you know it's happening every year why don't you save a bit every month towards it? If you put aside £10 every month it'll pay for the event, secret santa and journey to event......

This is the time of year when hospitality is in demand and they have to cover their costs (you think domestic fuel bills are bad - you should see commercial fuel costs) and try to make a profit to take them through January. Restaurants are going out of business at the fastest rate ever - next year you might find that your team don't want to organise anything and if they do it will be even more expensive as there will be fewer Restaurants to choose from.

Not £40. How about you?

I'm curious, where do people who think £40 for a 2 course lunch is reasonable live? Just up here even in a more 'fancier' place you wouldn't pay that for 2 courses for a Sunday lunch. Seems expensive but appreciate down south this might be normal?

We wouldn't get anything decent under £40 where we are. (Civil Service too). That would be a - nice-ish - standard work Christmas 3 course lunch. But you may live somewhere with more options.

@TennisLady I'm in the south - local pub charges £21 for Sunday roast - just the roast. Starters, drinks and desserts are extra. Their 2 course Xmas lunch menu (not Xmas eve or day) is £55 and on Xmas eve and day 2 courses is £100 and 3 courses is £150 (drinks are extra)...

its not about affording it per se as I understand it but about whether its worth it to the OP. And I am sorry but I am not going to spend money that I don't want to spend on ANYTHING in order to keep a business in business.

This absolutely depends what role/department you're in.

I would consider G7/G6 the middle management grades. When I was a G7 I didn't even manage anyone. But I'm assuming you maybe work in some kind of operational role (job centre or similar) where HEOs manage hordes of people!

I wouldn't moan as organising work events is a massive ballache. Everyone has strong opinions as to what they don't want to do, but no one ever seems to have any positive suggestions. I'm sure the organisers have tried their best to find the option that suits the most people.

I think the most diplomatic way out is to offer to hold the fort this year, and mention budget well in advance of next year's planning.

I’m in a similar position and rarely go. It’s not the money (I doubt you’d find many Christmas menus much less than £40 anyway) but primarily because I just don’t want to. I don’t give any reason just politely decline. There are about 40 odd people in my department and no one really cares if I go or not!