Work Christmas Lunch - Truth or a Lie re. Attendence

[Recruitmentangst]

Just as it says on the tin, really!

Civil servant. Middle management. Decent salary.

Staff Christmas lunch this year is £40?! (Organised by the HEOs - so more junior and therefore lower salary). I feel really awkward saying ‘£40 is to much for two courses, not including any drinks’ when they earn about £30K less than me (pre-tax). But equally…it’s far more money than I want to spend.

So, AIBU to be completely honest (both with my team and with my own line manager) that £40 for Christmas lunch is just too much for me to spend? I don’t want to lie - I don’t think it’s necessary and I don’t think it’s a good example to set and I’m very much a believer of being honest about finances - but equally it feels a tad insensitive to be blunt when my salary is much more…

YABU: suck it up and go, or tell a white lie.

YANBU: £40 is a ridiculous amount to expect people to spend on food alone for a work event and you should be honest.

You're suggesting someone on twice the salary the organiser is on instead of just declining the invite makes a big deal about how it's not affordable and not fair? Lmao

I think there's some people that are very out of touch with how much eating out costs these days. Particularly for Christmas meals where restaurants will be hoping to boost flagging profits.

I would suggest saying you are unable to attend and not mentioning the cost.

You used the term 'inclusive', I just asked you what you meant by it. Clearly you don't have a clue either.

Some people can spare £100. Some people can spare £50. Many people can probably ill afford £5. So there isn't really any amount that is going to be universally acceptable. Meals out are expensive now - much more so than they were pre-Covid, and they weren't cheap around Christmas time even then.

My husband is HEO grade and there is no way in hell he'd pay £40 for a staff lunch and we can afford it. £40 is ridiculous. Where the hell are they going that it costs £40 each?

£20-25 (depending on whether you have an alcoholic drink or not) is what the 'posh' place round the corner from my husband's workplace charges and that's for 3 courses! EDIT: Just checked it's £30 but still. £40 is too much.

Tell them to find somewhere cheaper.

My interpretation was that the OP felt it was expensive so should she mention that. She acknowledged that people earn less than her within the department so I don’t think it would be a ‘big deal’ to speak up on behalf of others who may not be able to afford it.

I think it's a fairly standard price but I wouldn't necessarily pay it. Luckily I'm a fussy eater so I always have the excuse that I won't eat anything.

Where do you all live??
Just looked up a 3course festive weekday lunch at the place we all used in my old job. £17.49.
And I reckon that is expensive for a lunch.

I'm also in the public sector, some of our junior pracs have organised Christmas this year, it's £70 a head in a hotel with dinner unlimited booze and a disco, the food will be crap and it's not what I would've chosen. I'm a similar grade to you and I think it's a lot for what it is. However when I queried with the organiser early in the year they said everyone was in agreement (who earn a lot less than I do( because then the cost is fixed, he'd also set up a payment plan so lots of people have been giving him £10 a month for seven months. I'm going because whilst it's not my kind of event and I don't want to spend that kind of money on it, I really appreciate my team, they work so hard and they're fantastic and it's what they want. They like it when I go to these things, some of them I've worked with since I was at that grade. I'll also be putting my hand in my pocket the week before Christmas for a Christmas spread, crusty bread, meats, chases, fruit, cakes, biscuits etc and we'll likely play a game or two over a lunchbreak. It'll probably cost me another £100-£150. That's no budget for it. My department has some of the lowest attrition rates in our field nationally. I value them and I show them that, in these ways and in professional contexts. It goes a long way.

I don't go to mine anymore. I don't have anyone to get the kids from school but my god I'm glad as this yr it's £60 for 3 course lunch, wtf! Also it's civil service and we all pay for our own. The managers pay for drinks though, so I feel sorry for them too.

I did mention to my mgr about the price and she too said yeah I know it's really expensive isn't it. She actually said she was wondering if she can skip food and turn up later 😂 It's a late lunch that turns into evening party. So if u want a new outfit, taxi home it's super expensive!

Last yr was £45 so it's gone up a lot for this yr!

Out of curiosity, I've looked up the national pub chain next door to me. £25 for three courses inc. roast turkey with trimmings, £5.50 for a glass of wine. Same prices down south.

When did these lunches become the cost for employees. I worked in many big corporates and it was always on the employer. Why would someone want to spend their money on forced fun.

Just say u can’t go.

Never lie.

I’d say.
“Thanks for the invite, I won’t be coming but hope you all have a lovely time”

that’s it.
no explanation.
no lies told.

I go because I like my colleagues and I like food and it's nice to get together.

If I couldn't afford it I wouldn't go.

Around here that would be a cheaper main course only, no drinks or start/pudding. Nothing fancy, just the regular pub/restaurants.

Did you not read that OP is in the public sector? Completely different to the “big corporates” you worked for. Do you genuinely think that staff socials should be paid for by taxpayers’ money?

(this is not a sarcastic question actually- I can see that having happy teams in the civil service might well make them more efficient and effective, and less likely to jump ship to the private sector, so I reckon that building some entertainment budget into the cost of employing them is not such a ridiculous idea).

These people that earn less are the ones who arranged it...OP can volunteer to spend time finding somewhere offering a Christmas lunch (which is always more expensive), book it and send around the invites, arrange menu ordering and deposit payments next year I'm sure if they feel that strongly.

I’m kind of confused OP. The people who have organised the lunch earn less than you do, they think that the price is fine and, presumably, can afford it.

You can definitely afford it but you just don’t want to spend it as you don’t think it’s good value for money, is that right?

Are you worried that there is a silent cohort of those earning less than the organisers who genuinely can’t afford it? (They will presumably be saying no but not admitting why)

Do you think that you saying no to the invitation, being honest about what bad value you believe it to be, will mean that this silent cohort will be taken into account when next year’s meal is organised?

If the answer to the above is no, I can’t see what would be achieved by you giving the real reason instead of making up a white lie about a diary clash.

I'm not sure any public sector jobs have anything like this.

We don't even get a hot drink provided, when we are working together. We have to take our own cup and take it in turns to provide teabags, coffee and milk.

Yes my work tried to orgnise a Christmas dinner, £40-50 quid and that does not include drinks etc.

Guess what, it got cancelled as many people opted out.

I rather spend that money on going out with my own family.

I am an HEO and our Christmas meal is £30.95 for 3 courses, £25.95 for 2 and £20.95 for 1. I thought £31 seemed quite a lot so I’m having 2 courses. I won’t eat the whole of my 2 courses anyway so paying more for 3 would be daft. I’m in the SW.

It has been organised by the EOs and there will be another couple of HEOs and a Grade 7 there as well.

I don’t mind paying for myself. I am unsure if I have ever had a paid for Christmas work meal in my life? Maybe when I worked for Tesco briefly? I can’t remember.

I don’t begrudge paying it though as I love my colleagues and we all get on very well and are friends in ‘real life’ as well as work.

In London it’s impossible to find a place for less than £40

Some of the younger colleagues really value the social occasion. Many have missed out on office socialising, networking and relationship building (especially with senior staff) due to the pandemic and ensuing shift to WFH, hybrid.

In the main, young staff in office based jobs don’t get the same amount of interaction with colleagues in their organisation post Covid - and this is bad for their development, happiness, and talent retention. As well as interpersonal relationships in the workplace.

So - if you can afford it, I would go but maybe volunteer to take on the organisation next year and set up a Canadian picnic in the office kitchen or similar.

Always in the public sector. As above, we don't even get a hot drink provided in a day of work!

Can you imagine the fall out, great DM story of public sector workers partying at the tax payers expense, especially as my LA has huge deficits created by the Conservative Gov cuts.

In fact, we are not even allowed to ‘party’ at lunch time on a week day for fear of claims of misuse of time. So no team Christmas lunch for us!

Public sector! You can’t spend tax payers money on parties.

Yanbu not to go. Just say 'sorry, I can't make it this year but hope you all have a lovely time'.

Yabu to mention the cost. £40 really isn't that expensive for a Christmas lunch. It's basic supply and demand. A lot of people eat out with friends & colleagues in the run up to Christmas. Ergo restaurants can charge more for their Christmas menus. Round our way they still get heavily booked up, so they have priced it about right. You'll sound like a prat if you comment on it, especially as you are one of the higher earners.