To be fed up of having to work Christmas because I don't have children

[boogiewoogie24]

I work in a 24/7 sector so christmas day is a normal working day.

This year we have a new manager and we've been told that apart from christmas day and boxing day, we have to work our normal shifts. Those 2 days, we have to work either christmas or boxing day

I work weds-sun one week and weds-fri the other, so never work Mon and Tues. I've been informed I'm working christmas eve, which is a Tuesday. Of the 3 people who normally work the Tuesday late shift, 2 have very young children so are being allowed to either finish early (normal finish time is 11pm) or just don't have to work. The other person has older kids so is happy to work as normal.
So I've been told I'm working the Tuesday until 11pm. I questioned why when I don't work Tuesdays. Response was "you don't have kids" yeah that'll be because I've had 3 miscarriages over 10 years of trying for a baby.
I'm one of only 3 people who work at my place who don't have children. The other 2 are only in their early 20s so plenty of time for them to have in future. I'm nearly 40.

I'm also having to work both christmas and boxing day because it's Jane's first christmas as a mum so she can have both days off and Jill's got her kids this year and last year they were at their dad's so she can have both days off, and Mary's family are in Scotland (we are south england) so she can have the 2 days off to visit them. No doubt Sue and Karen will go off sick like normal... you get the picture.

I'm rambling I know. But basically I'm being penalised for being unable to have children. It doesn't matter that I find christmas incredibly hard and painful.

So according to you everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but you seem determined to guilt them for that.

oh same. Mostly he managed to be home for Christmas which was great (once he came in dressed as Father Christmas while we and several other families were having lunch together because most of the men were away. He'd been supposed to be off that Christmas but got held up)

But i have a December birthday. I have never ever seen my dad on my birthday, not even when i was born. When he started being home on my birthday, i had already left home and often didn't get leave at that time.

That is adult life and we suck it up when it is part of the job.

Do you work Christmas Day ever in your role?

Like I said, it's in OPs rights to complain etc.. and make a fuss and insist she has Christmas off. I simply said I wouldn't. I couldn't enjoy Christmas knowing I'd stopped a colleague enjoying her first Christmas with her newborn or another colleague from seeing her children who were with her ex last year. Clearly you'd be ok with it. We r just different

You'd feel bad for the manager when it's blatant discrimination?

I'd love to know your thoughts on school holidays.

Discrimination pure and simple!

Log an official complaint!

Does your contact say that you have Monday and Tuesday as non working days?

@boogiewoogie24 so new manager comes in and dictates that people have to work their normal shifts for christmas and new year? then changes the rules and says that YOU have to work someone else's shift??? nah, not doing that ever!! wed is your day working, not tues!!

I'm not guilting anyone for anything! If people feel guilty for their actions, that's on them! Don't blame me! I simply said my opinion, what I would do, and what I think is the kind and decent hing to do. If others feel guilty then that's their issue and likely related to their own actions.

I would be ok with it because everyone applies for these jobs knowing working over the Christmas season is part of it and done fairly, everyone gets their turn.

You seem to think those that are off this year will gladly work next year.

Newsflash….they won’t.

Apologies for asking again, but do you work Christmas day ever in your role?

@SleepFinally OP didnt have to request leave because she is not supposed to be rostered on!! did you read the original post?? she works wed onwards, not tues!!

I have worked many Christmases. But luckily I work with kind and decent people and we sort it among ourselves! I've worked more Christmases than not. My colleagues kindly gave me my first Christmas with my firstborn off. Something I will forever be grateful for as I have lovely memories of that day. They also gave me Christmas off when I was very ill, when my parent died, when children had a few issues etc.. likewise, I have worked many Christmases for my colleagues - both those with children and those without. When there are no exceptional circumstances, Christmas leave has always been done on a one on, one off basis. But sometimes circumstances mean colleagues and myself have been flexible.

Christmas Day?

I’m not surprised your kind and decent colleagues conceded the days off - it sounds like you would have made their life very difficult if they had not.

I think the OP should take this discrimination straight to HR. It’s not the 50’s fgs, there are employment laws to comply with.

And if you were ill wouldn’t you have been off sick anyway?

And it sounds like you unfortunately had lots of issues around the festive period that mean you wanted it off.

Of course this happens all the time. Some kids have parents that serve in the military, are emergency workers or have left the family or died. This doesn't mean that we can't appreciate that Christmas is a particularly special time for children and wherever possible we should seek for them to be able to enjoy the day with the parents. Sometimes this won't be possible for all children but that doesn't mean it's ok to let more children than absolutely necessary to miss out.

I agree with this to be honest so wouldn't necessarily include them in the group I'm talking about. I also wouldn't include older teens and adult children. There is a period though of around 10 years though when children really do benefit from have their parents with them on Christmas Day and I think wherever possible this should be facilitated in the same way that priority should be given to those with very old or very ill relatives. Some Christmases are more important than others.

Surely the Christmas times with a toddler and young ‘believing’ child are more special than those with newborns who neither know nor care that it’s Christmas?

Yes. I have worked more Christmas days than I've had off. I make myself enjoy it! Put on a funny hat, Christmas music if and when we can, bring cakes and treats to the office. My children and I have a nice time when I get home or before i go in the morning depending on the shift. We try and enjoy the other days around Christmas day.

last year we had massive family Christmas in July for fun and because I had a week off and we did it then to make up for Christmas working and other family members working!! We put the tree up and everything! Had turkey! Nieces and nephews came! Siblings etc.. It was a blast!!

Well you clearly dont know me! I've worked more chirtsmases for colleagues than they have for me :) But you are welcome to form whatever opinions of me you want that make you feel better.

your workplace is odd. I never worked somewhere were people got preferential treatment over Xmas because they had children. We need to work Xmas and usually take turns irrespective of parental status. I have children but my colleagues without children (or grown ups) still want to spend time with family. It's a very odd set up. I wouldn't be happy in your shoes either.

Tue is not your work day

So I would say no on that basis

Given I'm nearly 50 and have had about 5 or 6 Christmas days off in total - all for very good reasons, I wouldn't say thats 'lots' of issues!!! Or 'lots' of Christmases off!! But fine, think what you want!!!

Christmas isn't just about small kids. I am my mum's child and she likes to see me.

Arguably people with elderly parents should get priority as they may not necessarily see another Christmas.