To be fed up of having to work Christmas because I don't have children

[boogiewoogie24]

I work in a 24/7 sector so christmas day is a normal working day.

This year we have a new manager and we've been told that apart from christmas day and boxing day, we have to work our normal shifts. Those 2 days, we have to work either christmas or boxing day

I work weds-sun one week and weds-fri the other, so never work Mon and Tues. I've been informed I'm working christmas eve, which is a Tuesday. Of the 3 people who normally work the Tuesday late shift, 2 have very young children so are being allowed to either finish early (normal finish time is 11pm) or just don't have to work. The other person has older kids so is happy to work as normal.
So I've been told I'm working the Tuesday until 11pm. I questioned why when I don't work Tuesdays. Response was "you don't have kids" yeah that'll be because I've had 3 miscarriages over 10 years of trying for a baby.
I'm one of only 3 people who work at my place who don't have children. The other 2 are only in their early 20s so plenty of time for them to have in future. I'm nearly 40.

I'm also having to work both christmas and boxing day because it's Jane's first christmas as a mum so she can have both days off and Jill's got her kids this year and last year they were at their dad's so she can have both days off, and Mary's family are in Scotland (we are south england) so she can have the 2 days off to visit them. No doubt Sue and Karen will go off sick like normal... you get the picture.

I'm rambling I know. But basically I'm being penalised for being unable to have children. It doesn't matter that I find christmas incredibly hard and painful.

Any more guilt trips you want to lay on? We get it, you have a child and feel that's the most important thing. But that's you.

I hope you aren’t the holiday approver in your workplace - you’d be sinking under grievances!

Well I agree it should go both ways. And yes, the colleagues should reciprocate the kindness.

I'm so sorry, that is absolutely unacceptable. I have young kids but would never think I am more worthy of having Christmas off than people who don't have any.

You keep saying “newborn” as I think you like to make it sound more emotive.. I would say a newborn is only up to 3 months old or so. So presumably they are not long back from maternity leave and therefore probably had last Christmas off.

We get it, you are a fabulous person talking about what you would do in a situation you clearly will never be in. Maybe listen to the many of us that ARE in these situation and our experiences.

One of the main issues that stood out to me in the OP was the fact she was told she HAD to work Christmas because she didn’t have a child. Her specific circumstances weren’t looked at nor was her input sought. She was just told childless = working Christmas and that’s the way it is. And that’s wrong. That is the point many pp have made.

If I was in that kind of workplace where it was taken for granted that I’d pick up the slack at Christmas because I don’t have kids , and it was basically mandated I’d not be happy doing it either!

If people act entitled and demand you work Christmas off as a non-parent , it’s hardly going to generate goodwill and team spirit.

It’s also massively cruel in many circumstances such as with the OP who had miscarriages and so far has been able to conceive. How can you not see that?

Thankfully that’s not the case in my work, so as I said I’m always happy to step up where necessary as long as I don’t have travel plans because I work with decent people who don’t throw their parent status in others faces.

Thankfully we have robust employment legislation which protects all employees equally and doesn’t give a priority to those with children. No one has to provide a reason as to why they want to have time off work.

They clearly know that Christmas was a possibility when they took the job, when they got pregnant and when they had kids, These are ADULTS who knew what they were doing, THEY are the reason that they might not see their kids, not me.

They are responsible, not me.

This is terrible you experienced this in the NHS!

I was once the holiday approver in a role.i.jad ages ago! but luckily in that particular job I was able to grant everyone's leave! which was lovely!

(I personally think though, OP could have avoided all this if she had simply applied for Christmas leave back in august. Maybe this is a learning curve for her? If you don't ask until its too late, you only have yourself to blame really. Next year she should apply in August and explain she worked Christmas this year so wants next year off. Her manager in such circumstances is likely to then grant the leave).

It would not be HER fault. Surely the person knew the job requirements when they joined. She is not responsible for anyone else but her self and she has a right to go to HR and stick up for her rights.

Why should she ask for leave for her day off?!!

Well thanks!! I will take that fabulousness badge! How kind! Though actually there is nothing fabulous about me. My post was not meant as some sort of self congratulations or boast. It's simply my opinion and it's ok for me to hold that opinion without others judging me as something I'm not (ie. Self important or virtue signalling as you seem to be implying).

You have no idea of my experiences and personal life story so I don't think you can comment on what my experiences are and are not and assume you know best. We are all entitled to our opinions. My opinion simply differs from yours! That's ok you know..

No, nobody has to cover the shift of someone who has a dying relative or who is struggling with their health. It's called compassion and empathy. We were all children once and understand how extra special this time of year is for little ones. I'm sure we would all have appreciated it if we were able to enjoy those early Christmases with our parents. It's not about giving the adults extra privileges because they're parents but it's about wanting to support children having a lovely Christmas.

I would be raising it. You shouldn’t be working both days. You still have family just not children. I’m sorry they haven’t been understanding.

They did know that, sure! But they also seem to have got their requests in before OP and had them granted, so that OPs own fault.

And you have no idea about my life and experiences. But let’s be careful that’s in employment we don’t start making decisions based purely on individual situations and some kind of gauge of who deserves time off more. That’s way leads straight to discrimination.

Little children and babies wont know the difference whether it's celebrated on the 25th or the 27th.

I work in retail, luckily it's always closed on Christmas Day so it's never a worry, but I've worked Boxing Day and Christmas Eve loads of times since becoming a mum, if it lands on my scheduled day I just do it, when the Christmas over time sheets come out, I always just say none wanted and hand it back, as do a lot of other people child free or not, we all have our reasons, but there are plenty of others who for their own reasons want to snap up as much over time as possible so it works. That being said, I'll happily cover a young/ single person (or anybody's for that matters) shift at New Year's Eve or New Year's Day, because I have no desire to go out, so I'll happily work

not every company allows people to apply for Christmas leave so early, and because it's christmas also don't allow a "first come first served" especially if they provide 24/7 cover.

And i do have sympathy with the Tuesday thing - I'm conflicted on that. But i firmly believe that NOBODY should be working on all 3 days. Ideally one of the 3, potentially 2 of the 3, but not all 3.

In OPs place i would point out the utterly discriminatory nature of being told she is working all the 3 days because she doesn't have children. Then go onto how unfair it is for anyone to be doing all 3, and that it would be better and lead to a more harmonious workplace if the 3 days were divided fairly. (with OP knowing that if she insists on having Christmas Eve off as a Tuesday, she may end up with the other 2 anyway)

But the "you don't have kids and are therefore working" needs to be addressed.

My father was in the army and I had many Christmas days without him. It's life, it happens, and he didn't chuck anyone under a bus to get his own way.

You seem to be ignoring the fact that the OP has been told she is working one of her days off. No one requests leave for a day they don't actually work. 🙄

Again, why would OP put in a holiday request for a day she doesn't work? From the OP

I work weds-sun one week and weds-fri the other, so never work Mon and Tues. I've been informed I'm working christmas eve, which is a Tuesday. Of the 3 people who normally work the Tuesday late shift, 2 have very young children so are being allowed to either finish early (normal finish time is 11pm) or just don't have to work. The other person has older kids so is happy to work as normal.

She is being asked to work on Christmas Eve, which isn't her shift, because the new manager has given others an early finish because they have kids.

Sure, she can crack on! Go to HR, that's fine. I'm just saying I don't think that's the morally right thing to do. I'd personally suck it up, work Christmas and apply for leave early next year. But loads of people do things which are morally questionable, leave things late etc... and that's up to them.

Personally I'd feel terrible for Jane, Jill and Mary and not enjoy my Christmas if I was off. I'd also feel bad getting the manager in trouble with HR when it seems OP left it a bit late to ask for time off, and the manager is aware of the needs of Jane, Jill and Mary.

Your medal is in the post.