To be fed up of having to work Christmas because I don't have children

[boogiewoogie24]

I work in a 24/7 sector so christmas day is a normal working day.

This year we have a new manager and we've been told that apart from christmas day and boxing day, we have to work our normal shifts. Those 2 days, we have to work either christmas or boxing day

I work weds-sun one week and weds-fri the other, so never work Mon and Tues. I've been informed I'm working christmas eve, which is a Tuesday. Of the 3 people who normally work the Tuesday late shift, 2 have very young children so are being allowed to either finish early (normal finish time is 11pm) or just don't have to work. The other person has older kids so is happy to work as normal.
So I've been told I'm working the Tuesday until 11pm. I questioned why when I don't work Tuesdays. Response was "you don't have kids" yeah that'll be because I've had 3 miscarriages over 10 years of trying for a baby.
I'm one of only 3 people who work at my place who don't have children. The other 2 are only in their early 20s so plenty of time for them to have in future. I'm nearly 40.

I'm also having to work both christmas and boxing day because it's Jane's first christmas as a mum so she can have both days off and Jill's got her kids this year and last year they were at their dad's so she can have both days off, and Mary's family are in Scotland (we are south england) so she can have the 2 days off to visit them. No doubt Sue and Karen will go off sick like normal... you get the picture.

I'm rambling I know. But basically I'm being penalised for being unable to have children. It doesn't matter that I find christmas incredibly hard and painful.

What does your contract say about your days of employment?

If visiting family who live a distance away every Christmas is important to the employee they get it written into their contract that they don't work Christmas or find another job that it is not a requirement in. Employers should not decide on whose personal life outside work is the most important and dump it on other employees they deem less important as that is not a fair way to operate.

That employee could compromise and visit family at another time of year every other year.

You could try them travelling to you to coincide with the end of your shift like I said earlier?

In future just book annual leave well in advance, finding a special reason if necessary. Sadly (and unfairly) you are never going to win this one.

What if I'm working the next day, which is likely? There's no public transport on Christmas or Boxing day.

Sometimes there just isn't a way around it. On the years I work, I bury myself in work and celebrate another time - but if this was every Christmas I'd go mad. Everyone needs to have a fair entitlement to a break, regardless of their family make up.

most places that cover 24/7 don't allow you to apply early for Christmas/New Year leave in an attempt to make it fairer, and that's ok for me.

my DC works in one such place, they all know they will be working on at least some of the holidays, they share them out as fairly as they can and don't mind if people swap, but the ones making the roster are also good at picking up on people trying to guilt-trip/manipulate those without children into swapping or taking on extra shifts.

we're all (me, DH and 2 adult DC) working on one or more of the Christmas days this year (my company gives a half day for Christmas Eve) so we're now trying to work out when we'll all celebrate together.

The best place i ever worked where it was 24/7 had a huge mix of religions, so we all covered the important dates for each other and hardly anyone had to work when they didn't want to.

Ah thankyou - I was there for the tea time buffet and was happy to do it to see my family!

I was childfree then so happy to work so the parents at work could enjoy the Christmas morning magic, it can actually be quite fun working Xmas day too!

Exactly this. Working the Tuesday is an absolute No. Working one of the other days is fair.

Before I had kids I worked somewhere that was only closed on the 25th. For all 3 years I was in for the whole 2 weeks around the day, along with 1 or 2 others of our team of 6.

After I was told the 2nd year that I was on the whole period I said I wanted to be off the following year. I was told they weren't booking holiday that far ahead. When I mentioned it again it was already booked. One of my colleagues was a parent and another a grandparent.

Like mine, your manager is making decisions based on who they like and how they feel, rather than fairness and the law. If they won't back down on this I would be looking for a new job (I did). I would also not be turning up on Tuesday under any circumstances. If Sue and Karen can get away with pulling sickies then so can others.

Oh god we could keep going round in circles forever with your what iffery 🤣 but to be rostered to work Xmas day and boxing would be rather mean, at my place we do one main day each and try give days off together for situations like this.

So what about those who don’t have children? I’m sure they don’t think this is a brilliant policy.

I don’t think Jane’s excuse is good enough. If I was her I’d prefer to work this one and have next year off when baby is more aware.

What would be fabulous in a workplace like OP's, is if they suddenly announced you got paid 5x usual rate for Christmas, plus a day in lieu and a bottle of champagne to take home. After the entitled parents had clamoured for Christmas off, of course...

And that's great but it is an option not a passive aggressive bullied because of your family status. What is absolutely disgusting is they are only offering double. Back in the 90,s it was treble and minimal of 10 hours payment.

Me too. I couldn’t have children but love Christmas. I still have a husband that I love to spend the day with.

If your working you have to have a fair rota. Children or not are/should be irrelevant.

This is one of the reasons why I am delighted to finally be retired. Every year the same people would have an excuse not to work any of the Christmas period, kids, grandkids, her dh had allocated holidays etc. Because we had different managers quite often she always got away with it. Eventually I refused to work boxing day as my adult kids are important too.
It's great not to feel the resentment this year.

The reality is you have no idea what "sandra" is going through because most people keep their lives private just like the op who has suffered with pregnancy loss and trying to conceive for 3 years. Having a baby isn't the only milestone or entitlement in this world. You have no idea what child free workers might be going home to every Christmas

God that’s shit OP, I understand as that was me many years ago alongside the “Brenda needs to be off because her husband is a teacher” and “your family don’t live abroad like mine so I need to be off so I can see them” rubbish. My DH is also in a 24:7 industry, the way they work is alternate years covering the festive period (unfortunately his turn this year as he was off last Christmas and new year!) so it’s fair to everyone.

What is kind and fair and decent about saying your personal set-up is more important than a colleague's? How does one decide what's more important and who one has to be 'fair' to?
By definition, fairness treats everyone the same. Regardless of whether it's someone's baby's 'First Christmas', or anything else. Yes, it might suck sometimes, but to coin a phrase it's the least worst option.

Other way round when I was a kid: my dad was a teacher and my mum worked in retail and she was usually denied leave in the school hols and it was given to those of her colleagues who had kids at school. My dad always told her to say that she had a husband at school, but she's the don't-rock-the-boat type and never spoke up, so we usually missed out.

Except that @boogiewoogie24 's manager explicitly told her she had to vary the days she worked "because she doesn't have children."

It is blatantly discriminatory, and should be called out.

Indeed.

If it's a case of:
Jane has a new baby this is her first Christmas with her new baby
And
Sandra is going to mum and dad's like she does every year
It might be kind for Sandra to let Jane enjoy this magical day with her new baby and next year Jane can cover for Sandra so she can have the day off.
It's about common sense and seeing who has greater need on a year by year basis.

And another 'What if" - what if Sandra's mother has a terminal illness, and is not expected to last much past Boxing Day?

This is how utterly stupid your "reasoning" is.

I spent 10 years working all the school holidays for my colleagues who had young children, on the basis that they would do so for me when I had children, knowing I had enabled them to enjoy their children's early years together. Now i have two young children suddenly my colleagues with children at the latter end of secondary and beyond still need those dates more than me. Some parents are, and always will be selfish. You should absolutely not have to work every Christmas, ESPECIALLY if it falls on a day you never work usually! Did your manager say the thing about kids in writing or can you ask her to clarify what she meant in writing?

But the (childless) people working those days have to do work during that time? If the only difference is whether they are actually working or just picking up emergency calls, why not share out the work evenly?

There is clearly a benefit to just being on call - presumably that you get an early or late shift, rather than working through the middle of the day. Also presumably easier work, unless calls are nonstop. It should be shared out evenly.

Same! Are you me? 😂 except I am now north England and no longer in London but still couldn’t drive to Scotland .

many drivers dyspraxic or not wouldn’t be able to do this for various reasons. And many are not drivers at all.