To be fed up of having to work Christmas because I don't have children

[boogiewoogie24]

I work in a 24/7 sector so christmas day is a normal working day.

This year we have a new manager and we've been told that apart from christmas day and boxing day, we have to work our normal shifts. Those 2 days, we have to work either christmas or boxing day

I work weds-sun one week and weds-fri the other, so never work Mon and Tues. I've been informed I'm working christmas eve, which is a Tuesday. Of the 3 people who normally work the Tuesday late shift, 2 have very young children so are being allowed to either finish early (normal finish time is 11pm) or just don't have to work. The other person has older kids so is happy to work as normal.
So I've been told I'm working the Tuesday until 11pm. I questioned why when I don't work Tuesdays. Response was "you don't have kids" yeah that'll be because I've had 3 miscarriages over 10 years of trying for a baby.
I'm one of only 3 people who work at my place who don't have children. The other 2 are only in their early 20s so plenty of time for them to have in future. I'm nearly 40.

I'm also having to work both christmas and boxing day because it's Jane's first christmas as a mum so she can have both days off and Jill's got her kids this year and last year they were at their dad's so she can have both days off, and Mary's family are in Scotland (we are south england) so she can have the 2 days off to visit them. No doubt Sue and Karen will go off sick like normal... you get the picture.

I'm rambling I know. But basically I'm being penalised for being unable to have children. It doesn't matter that I find christmas incredibly hard and painful.

A previous workplace was a bit like this - having kids seemed to trump having parents/PIL at the other end of the country at Christmas. The parents also wanted to monopolise all the other bank holidays: Easter, Spring Bank and August. Meant that they got a week off using only three or four days' leave but the rest of us had to take five. So unfair.

DH has work numerous Christmas Day shifts (a doctor) including DT’s 1st Christmas. We just did our Christmas Day on a different day. The DT’s haven’t grown up traumatised.

more emotionally manipulative claptrap.

Many of us have spent many christmasses without one parent or other, and plenty of us have worked when our DC were small. It is part of having a job where you have to cover 24/7

Awk that's not fair op, I do hear what you are saying. I had to work Christmas Eve and Boxing Day as a student and as rubbish as it was I used to think that how miserable it would be for young kids to not have a parent there on Xmas day.

@Brefugee it I said mum. Have you ever missed a Christmas Day with your children?

I think it's just made too complicated sometimes
It should be work your usual shifts, or if it's done another way then work one year, off the next and you can volunteer to work extra if you wanted

You can ask to swap but once only and no pestering people because it gets annoying when 4 people have asked you to swap and then sulked when you say no

i know what you said - and i called it for what it is. emotionally manipulative claptrap.

I haven't missed a christmas day because i chose to change my job. My DH worked plenty of christmasses.

Or are we now going in the direction that mums are the parent that really matters?

Complain to HR.

No - at my workplace you can’t ‘book time off work’ over the festive period 🤦🏽‍♀️

I don’t think drawing names out of a hat is fair, you could be unlucky every time. If you work Christmas one year yo get the next year off. New people take the hit first year if necessary.

I quite agree and anyway you can do Christmas day on Boxing Day, unless you have to work both.

If the op feels so hard done by she should put in for time off over next Christmas in January. Or else find another job.

I finished at 2pm Xmas day before drove 250miles to my parents, spent the evening with them and half of Boxing Day then drove back for my next shift on the 27th.

It’s doable if you want to do it.

Id complaint to HR!

Either:

Escalate to HR and submit a formal grievance.

Or

Call in sick.

I'd be tempted to do the latter out of spite if you've been there for more than two years so can't easily be sacked.

Is it in your contract?

If not I would have simply said sorry I have made plans for Christmas eve already and if challenged that you didn't have kids said, yes, but I do have a family. It is just as important to see your family at Christmas.

I am in my fifties and until the last 10 years in my latest job I have always worked around Christmas and New Year, but it has always been shared fairly with colleagues with some flexibility, and everyone doing their bit.

That's exactly as it should be.

Not many people would want to drive that distance for so short a stay, xmascracker. I am impressed!

I’d be foot downing about that shite this year.

and if ‘you wish to pick upon my childless medical conditon, can you put it in writing for the tribunal?’ Hard state or laugh depending.

it made a previous boss think again!

What a load of cobblers. I’m in my forties, no children (losses like the OP). Staying out/up late isn’t my cup of tea and I’m normally in bed by 10pm on NYE! I do love and really value spending Christmas with my family.

I'm dyspraxic and driving from London - Scotland is not practical or safe for me.

Anything else us childfree heathens should try?

It is very very sad that OP has had 3 miscarriages and if she had a miscarriage near Christmas and said to me 'i don't think I can work this year, I just need to be at home with DH to process this' then I likely would say 'oh my gosh, of course I'll work it for you. You stay home and rest up and spend time with DH', I'll cover the Christmas period.

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You remind me of my SIL here ... falls over herself to be kind to others - provided she's privy to the reasons why so she can, y'know vet that they reach her acceptable reason threshold - then can bask in how marvellous she looks being a martyr and have people notice just how lovely she is. Until she doesn't agree with their reasons of course then it's similar comments to "I wasn't trying to shame you, if you feel that way that's on you".

Sometimes the person without children needs Christmas off even more than people can imagine.
In my single days, when I worked Christmas, I would be completely alone, as my family lived far away.
I did it on my turn, but it was hard.

I have to write the rota for a 24/7 service.
I ask for volunteers first then I look back on when everyone last worked it to see who’s ‘turn’ it is. I have to allocate 3 people to work, this year I had 2 volunteers (one didn’t want to go to mother in laws for the day and the other would rather go out with his mates on Boxing Day instead) so I had to look who’s turn it was, the guy who was unlucky was expecting it to be his turn and told me it was probably his turn so there’s been no big surprises for anyone. We have someone who has her kids every other year so she works alternate Christmas’s, she worked it last year so she’s off this year and will volunteer to work next year. I have small children but I know that it is likely my ‘turn’ next year unless I get 3 volunteers and I’m ok with that.

And people who never have children ... work Christmas every year? And this is brilliant?

This is discrimination pure and simple. You don't work Tuesdays and 24th December is no different. I'm sure you have plans!!