To be fed up of having to work Christmas because I don't have children

[boogiewoogie24]

I work in a 24/7 sector so christmas day is a normal working day.

This year we have a new manager and we've been told that apart from christmas day and boxing day, we have to work our normal shifts. Those 2 days, we have to work either christmas or boxing day

I work weds-sun one week and weds-fri the other, so never work Mon and Tues. I've been informed I'm working christmas eve, which is a Tuesday. Of the 3 people who normally work the Tuesday late shift, 2 have very young children so are being allowed to either finish early (normal finish time is 11pm) or just don't have to work. The other person has older kids so is happy to work as normal.
So I've been told I'm working the Tuesday until 11pm. I questioned why when I don't work Tuesdays. Response was "you don't have kids" yeah that'll be because I've had 3 miscarriages over 10 years of trying for a baby.
I'm one of only 3 people who work at my place who don't have children. The other 2 are only in their early 20s so plenty of time for them to have in future. I'm nearly 40.

I'm also having to work both christmas and boxing day because it's Jane's first christmas as a mum so she can have both days off and Jill's got her kids this year and last year they were at their dad's so she can have both days off, and Mary's family are in Scotland (we are south england) so she can have the 2 days off to visit them. No doubt Sue and Karen will go off sick like normal... you get the picture.

I'm rambling I know. But basically I'm being penalised for being unable to have children. It doesn't matter that I find christmas incredibly hard and painful.

Exactly! This attitude pisses me off so much. YANBU, OP.

So I've been told I'm working the Tuesday until 11pm. I questioned why when I don't work Tuesdays

You missed a trick there, @boogiewoogie24 - surely the response should have been "with not working Tuesdays I've already booked up som won't be available"

I’m a nurse, worked in the same place for 18 years. Had children for all of that period. Our rule was you work one or the other. We would request the shift we wanted(long day or long night) worked in a children’s ward so could be a fun time if you were on. All the kids who could go home could, either on pass to come back at bedtime or whatever so the ward could be fairly quiet.

So I ended up working with the same group every year either for Christmas or new year and we had a lovely time, you do just have to accept you will do some festive days, but working Christmas Day was nice, we had a lovely dinner - brought in all our own food, did a little secret santa and played with the kids in between some actual work. We’d let people go home early etc too. new year could be mental though, most years we brought in food but barely sat down together one year we basically said happy new year and got on with it. It needs to be universal and fair to all, I don’t like new year now or pre kids, sometimes I’d work new year for people after already doing my Christmas shifts just helps as it’s extra £.

No idea: like I said I don’t work there. It seems to work well, I know some of the other wives and there’s never any complaints that I can see, but again, I don’t work there.
Id say they at least are trying which is better than some.

I found myself in a position where my boss gave another woman a preferential teaching timetable "because she has 4 children" - free periods at the beginning and the end of the day. (Yes, she did have a husband - a senior manager at a neighbouring school.)

That consideration was not extended those of us who were carers.

He also tried to persuade me to write her reports for her. It was actually a case of "We've agreed she doesn't have to write reports for her class..." with an expectant look at me. (I was theoretically her line manager, but was kept out of the loop when she was employed.)

I smiled sweetly and asked "So who's going to do them then?"

That’s appalling- if you don’t have children you are stuck working the full day whereas those with children benefit from just being on call? It’s amazing there is still such discrimination.

Thank you!

Then they shouldn't take a job where they have to work over Christmas! You can't expect to make your childcare issues someone else's probem.

Precisely. We're not 'making them.' I also didn't appreciate the never ending fucking guilt trips. So glad I don't work these jobs anymore.

I DONT WORK THERE.
However, the on call is the same amount of hours as someone “at work”. So you still need to be logged into a laptop. The only difference is that someone working during the day has the call centre that deals with emergency calls during the day, the on call person has their work phone and the emergency calls go straight to them.
As far as I can tell.

The thing is...Most people don't know when the last Christmas is going to be.

Ughhh. I was that childless woman, throughout my entire twenties… as I’ve pointed out before. I would work more late shifts too compared to those with young children. I thought it was fair enough, yes. Now I have young children and life hasn’t got any easier, it’s become harder. You’re more restricted with children, not less.

Well that's different. But OP hasn't said this is her last Christmas with her parents. That would be a massive drip feed and change everything.

As if we all get 'fair warning'!

Before I had kids I was desperate for Christmas off to spend with my old dad who was dieing. I put up a fight and got it.

This year we’re celebrating Christmas on December fourteenth because that’s when I can get a Saturday off work and it makes more sense. I am lucky to have a mil who can provide childcare when nursery is not open l, although lack of childcare over festive period is not the problem of those without kids.

people without kids have equal rights to time off at Christmas and sometimes even more compelling.

If you find Christmas incredibly hard and painful, it is surely nice to be able to go into work and treat it as just another day, as long as transport is OK. I wouldn't have minded that at all. Lots of people have to take in turns to work at Christmas and that includes some parents. That's life. Don't be resentful about those who will be at home, you don't like it anyway and I bet you have a good time.

My mum was a nurse, I remember having Christmas at 9am or 9pm depending on her shifts. We were fine with that

However with this in mind, when I was working in a small team, for 4 years I offered to cover the Christmas shifts (even if not my shift) so the parents could have time off. One year I gave them over 12 months notice I couldn’t offer to do the following year as I was hoping to go away to meet elderly relatives for the last time

The team all kicked off and made a formal complaint against me as Christmas was for parents and children. All kicked off, manager got involved, came up with a fair rota which meant some parents had to work and I got the days off (based on my work pattern). I never offered to cover for them again

I've never really minded working Christmas, when i had jobs that required it. the only issues i've had since having DCs and a chef for a DH is that if I've had to work a saturday, i had to take DCs with me (nice office job, not a huge hardship) - the first time my boss was all "nope" so i gave him the choice between a) i don't come b) he pays for childcare or c) i bring them

In OPs case it is weird in some ways, because not working tuesdays should mean that she doesn't work Christmas eve. The company policy is then that people work one of the 2 bank holidays - but if you have kids you work neither.

It is clearly a) discriminatory and b) completely unfair and this should be challenged on both grounds. As should the Christmas Eve.

OP could play a long game by agreeing to the Tuesday and one other day, if she wanted, but I'd want a really good quid pro quo for that, in writing. And from the company's perspective, it is always a good idea to look at what other companys do, and adopt a sort of "best practice"

Also a privelege of having children means I’m off today on dependents leave as child has fever

I worked in retail for a long time, and ended up working until late Christmas Eve a lot, and then back in on Boxing Day for mad sales.

Year after year.

When I got out of retail and started working in public sector roles, not having to work bank holidays and Christmas was a luxury. I guess I have got used to it now but I'll never forget that first one after years of missing out.

I kind of get that we need emergency services , police call centres , essential stuff like that, but I could never do a role that would have a chance of me having to work on Christmas Day if I was going to be really upset when that happened.

Yes, and this is what happens in all the places I have worked over the years. People know that working Christmas when they can means they can ask for it off when they really want it.
Volunteering to work NY’s eve/day also increases their chances of having Christmas off.

I found that the issue was people who every year insist on getting exactly their share of days off even if nothing planned, and then when they have a specific reason they find that nobody wants to be flexible for them.

Completely know where you are coming from I am in pretty much same situation. It’s very frustrating just because you haven’t got children ( whether through choice or not) feels like you are almost penalised.

The only fair option I can think of is that those who worked last Christmas Day get first choice not to work it this year. Perhaps that you also don't work on both Christmas Day and New Year's Day.

Not what is proposed for the OP.

I would only, as a counter, say imagine your own childhood Christmases and how you would have felt if your mom wasn't there.

Its awful, I should report your manager to HR or whoever is highest level and you can trust. I'm so glad I work for the civil service with bank holidays, but I don't mind working Christmas and New years eve because I don't do anything really.

Are you not a trade union member? They should be able to support you with this.

You don’t work Tuesdays so they can’t order you to work that day.

You should agree to work either 25 or 26 like others.

Please do stand up for yourself, it sounds shitty. 💐