Sunburnt on holiday and friend frustrated with me

[tabletopsy]

I am currently on a resort style beach holiday with a friend.

I stupidly got badly sunburnt on the first day, despite applying sun cream. I know I am stupid so please don’t turn this into a lecture on sun protection, I already have a lot of regrets.

It’s still quite painful and red a couple of days later, although I think it’s slowly healing. My feet are the most badly burnt and any significant walking really does hurt. I stayed in the room for a day but now I’m venturing outside to sit covered up in the shade.

My friend is growing increasingly frustrated by me not wanting to do any fun stuff. She wants to go on long beach walks and try out all the water sports activities. I really don’t want to given the pain I’m in and how much of a terrible idea it is for me to go out in the sun again. I am a little upset because this holiday was expensive and I feel like I’ve ruined it for both of us.

AIBU to tell her that she needs to do these activities alone if she wants to do them? I feel bad for abandoning her but I need to put my health and comfort first.

Also if anyone has suggestions for what to do in this scenario, please let me know! Given we’re at a resort, there aren’t many indoor cultural activities (e.g. museums) to fall back on

I'm having trouble believing someone could get BADLY sunburnt in 30 minutes wearing suncream. Sunburnt enough in 30 minutes to have this effect - it just doesn't make sense.

If the suncream was "faulty" or perhaps not applied in advance of sun exposure Maybe a bit of pink that would be uncomfortable for a day of 2, but that is all.

And yes I have fairly pale skin & I've had sun exposure all around the world in many different climates including NZ/Oz where there is no ozone protection and you get can get sunburnt quite quickly.

What a shame you're after getting burnt, it's miserable for everyone. Look all you can do is your best and hopefully you start feeling better soon .

I did get badly burnt on my shoulders one time and front of my legs due to skin changes in peri, I tried everything, after sun, aloe Vera, tea tree ,natural yoghurt, you name it and ended up seeing a doctor as the pain was awful, anyway I ended up using an actual burn cream, it eased the pain within hours with pain relief too and the redness went right down over night.

This is the first time the OP has experienced sunburn. Yes it's painful, but I can't help feel she's being a bit precious about it, given there's only so bad it can be after only 30m.

It's not unreasonable for her to be a bit miffed. But angry? That's a bit of an over reaction. It doesn't sound like you planned to do watersports with her, so I don't see why she can't go off on her own. As for long walks on the beach, it isn't as if you are joined at the hip fgs! I've had sunburned feet, and it hurts a lot; expecting you to hobble along just to keep her company is unreasonable. Neither of you would enjoy it.

These things happen. Where's her sympathy for you? She sounds selfish to me.

RobinEllacotStrike · Today 13:25

I'm having trouble believing someone could get BADLY sunburnt in 30 minutes wearing suncream. Sunburnt enough in 30 minutes to have this effect - it just doesn't make sense

I got badly burnt in Whitstable in April years ago in 30 minutes wearing spf 15! It was awful, lost half the skin off of my face over the next few days.

I got badly burnt on my chest one year. I just kept applying after sun and kept that area of my body covered up for the rest of the week. Didn't stop me doing anything.

Lucky you! I've got sunburnt in the uk after 1/2 hour - including blisters. Some of us are more sensitive to the sun than others.

30 minutes max in the sun and it hurts to walk a few days later?

Ok that’s you. Some people react differently…

This happened to us years ago, my sister friend sat outside whilst we were unpacking and ended up horribly burnt. Later came out in massive blisters.

Anyways I'd get to a pharmacist, they have healing sprays and remedies abroad which are much better than our poxy after sun lotion which doesn't do much. Bepantham is also good if you have any to hand. It doesn't need to ruin your holiday when you have the pain better controlled.

Tbh I hate it more that people get irritated when something out of someone’s control happens- shit happens and you’ve obviously told her you’re sorry!!! I’d agree to go cheer her on and cover up and suck it up for walks on the beach!!!

That's ridiculously unhelpful. OP made a mistake, she didn't get burnt deliberately!

Being sunburnt is really miserable. It’s unfortunate but what’s done is done so I can’t see why she continues to be annoyed with you l, really.

Early morning/evening walks when sun is low. Cover up. Pharmacist for stronger treatment.
Don't beat yourself up, and ignore the horrid comments on here. Anybody who hasn't ever had sunburn is extremely lucky, in my opinion. It's all too easy to underestimate the power of the sun.

That's true. My nephew has skin like milk he is so pale. He can burn so easy so fast even now as a grown man.

i wonder what your friend thought you were doing when you were tapping out all this on your phone!

There is a great variation on how much sun people can take without burning. I am extremely fair and burn really easily. I stay in the shade with factor 50 on, unless we are out and about doing something. I always wear a hat and often loose clothing that covers all of me. Sometimes small parts of me still burn, it is really annoying.

My partner (similar celtic skin) slaps on factory 20, literally 3/4 times a day, doesn't care about shade, doesn't burn.

Is your friend a child that she can't do stuff on her own. and is blaming you??? pathetic. ignore her and feel better soon

I'm going to guess you're in Cape Verde with the heat this time of year and because you mentioned it's windy. I got really badly burnt there myself and the wind was definitely a factor !!

I have never been burned in fuerteventura and I'm basically albino and went starkers on the nudist beaches!

Yes totally agree. Of course the friend would be a bit miffed but the OPs already suffering theres no need to add to it with anger and moodiness. I feel the same about hangovers though, I think the hangover is punishment enough and haven’t been angry with a friend for having one even when it’s disrupted our plans.

I totally understand @tabletopsy pain! many years ago , before we lived here full time, my husband hired one of the massage ladies at the beach to give me a massage for my birthday. I had sunscreen on in the morning at the beach, I had no idea massage was coming until she came and took me to the lovely beach massage area (totally roof covered and lovely flowing sheer curtains on the sides. I left the massage after an hour, back to my beach lounger with a palapa over it. half hour later went to lunch. that was it! I was out for the next two days as the top of my feet were so badly burnt. She used coconut oil to massage me. My mistake, but my husband just did his own thing as day one after, i could not put my feet down they hurt so badly. It can happen so quickly here in the islands, esp if you are pasty white!! Totally belive a half hour

That a tan prevents burning is not a myth.

”So does a base tan prevent burning? Experts estimate that going out in the sun with a base tan is equivalent to wearing a sunscreen with a sun protection factor (SPF) of 3 to 4. This means the skin can be exposed to up to four times more sun before burning than without the base tan. For example, if you would ordinarily burn after 20 minutes in the sun, a base tan might mean you can be in the sun for up to 80 minutes before burning. ”

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/problem-tanning-myth-base-tan-2017041211528

Absolutely this.

Never read such horrible comments honestly. You should be ashamed of yourselves. I burn with factor 50. I got severely burnt in Tenerife and even seconds in the sun, my skin would start to bubble. I have had sunstroke so many times, even with obsessively applying factor 50 before going out, and every couple of hours, and being out of peak sun. I have to avoid it altogether now.

Medication can be to blame plus many other factors including health issues. Poor op. The friend is an absolute horror . Anti histamines may help op but don't take any unecessary risks or exposure, just to please your friend.

I don't think I am being ridiculous. As the OP has since said, she was 30 minutes in the sun.

Not everyone has the same skin type. I have spend a short amount of time in the sun, not even gone pink, and an hour later I am red and sore. It happens.

I am suggesting that her friend - and frankly many people on this thread - calm down, think about the bigger picture, be less harsh to a woman in physical pain who feels badly for letting her friend down accidentally, and fling off the judgypants with gay abandon, and maybe find some Bikini Bottoms Of Decency.

Or, y'know, an sphincter-flossing thong that makes the world your gynaecologist. Make your own analogy.