Sunburnt on holiday and friend frustrated with me

[tabletopsy]

I am currently on a resort style beach holiday with a friend.

I stupidly got badly sunburnt on the first day, despite applying sun cream. I know I am stupid so please don’t turn this into a lecture on sun protection, I already have a lot of regrets.

It’s still quite painful and red a couple of days later, although I think it’s slowly healing. My feet are the most badly burnt and any significant walking really does hurt. I stayed in the room for a day but now I’m venturing outside to sit covered up in the shade.

My friend is growing increasingly frustrated by me not wanting to do any fun stuff. She wants to go on long beach walks and try out all the water sports activities. I really don’t want to given the pain I’m in and how much of a terrible idea it is for me to go out in the sun again. I am a little upset because this holiday was expensive and I feel like I’ve ruined it for both of us.

AIBU to tell her that she needs to do these activities alone if she wants to do them? I feel bad for abandoning her but I need to put my health and comfort first.

Also if anyone has suggestions for what to do in this scenario, please let me know! Given we’re at a resort, there aren’t many indoor cultural activities (e.g. museums) to fall back on

Such cunts on this thread. You didn't do it on purpose Op and no you do not have to "prostrate yourself with apologies" for fuck's sake. The friend is a grown woman not a three year old.

@Partylikeits1985 maybe she didn't anticipate that people would be such tossers.

you haven't actively gone out on purpose to get sunburnt 🙄

you'll be right as rain in a couple days!

I'll never forget having a HUGE ugly argument with a "friend" when we were halfway through a girls trip to Magaluf and I got sunstroke after being in the sun all day. Was being sick, couldn't hold down liquids, was horrendous and she went nuts because I didn't want to go clubbing. She came back drunk from that night out and threw her takeaway over me, screamed and cried.

Safe to say the rest of the holiday was ruined and awkward and as soon as we touched back down on UK soil I never spoke to the cow again 👋

I understand her frustration but it can't be helped. keep hydrated and keep putting after sun on and stay in the shade when you can.

Oh Christ no, I never ever sunbathe! Or sit in the sun in summer / hot countries etc. Basically in summer I hide under rocks 😂

I’m not sure it is all down to evolution. Acclimatisation must play a part.

My husband grew up in the 1960s and seems to have spent most of his childhood outside in shorts and a tee shirt. Despite being fair, he was as “brown as a berry” according to his mum.

Now his head, legs, arms and feet tan really easily and never burn. However his torso, which was never exposed as a child, doesn’t. He has to be really careful.

@tabletopsy in case you are still reading. Antihistamines are your friend here. I live on a hot island, wear tons of sunscreen all the time, and still manage to occasionally get burnt! Feel better OP and don't feel guilty. Shit happens. Even on holiday!

Ah yes - expressing an opinion I don’t like = tosser. I’d forgotten that 😂

YABU. No wonder your friend is annoyed. This was not the holiday she anticipated. You need to apologise.

It was just an accident,these things happen! You're a good friend because you actually care how it's affecting your friend and are trying your best to resolve and compromise. Most friend holiday threads are of wanker friends who couldn't give a monkeys!
Enjoy the rest of your holiday the best you can OP x

I'm really struggling to understand how you've gotten so badly burned that you are literally incapacitated. I burn like a lobster if I'm not careful but a touch of aftersun and it's all better by the next day. She probably thinks you're being a bit dramatic staying in your room all day and refusing to do excursions tbh. If you don't want her to end the friendship the minute you return home I think you have to suck it up. Put loads of aftersun on, cover up, take paracetamol and antihistamines and stop moping about inside. This isn't just about you. It might well be your friend's only holiday this year and she's probably spent a fortune on it.

Omg it was an accident! You applied a high factor and burnt from being in the sun for a short period of time…really unlucky and not your fault.

yes it’s annoying for your friend, but if I were her, I’d be understanding. She can still have a nice time doing some things without you and you can plan to do stuff together in a few days. It’s not a big deal..

if you have a bath in your room, try and oat bath. It will help the burns. Feel better soon!

Why? There is nothing to indicate that the OP is employed as a paid companion or that her friend is covering the entire cost of the holiday.

OP is still managing to go for dinner/drinks/to pool in shade. it’s not like she’s not doing ANYTHING.The only time she was ‘moping inside’ was the day after. Sunburn can be so nasty and can make you feel so unwell.

You’ve not read the OPs posts properly. Sunburn can be more severe and certainly is not all better the next day after ‘a touch of aftersun’! I doubt you’ve ever experienced proper sunburn if you think that’s the case.

The OP has burned her feet which is what is making it so difficult to get around. She is very clear that she still has been out by the pool and is up for planning excursions, has been out for dinner etc. OPs friend is a grown adult who is more than capable of doing water sports and activities on her own, the OP already made it clear she didn’t like water sports before the holiday!

Its no wonder the OP isn’t returning to the thread.

I can't believe there are so many miseries on this thread berating you and saying you should apologise, what fun they must be on holiday!

Please people from non-hot countries realise that you have to apply probably at least twice the amount of sunscreen you are thinking you need. Double it.Triple it. A sarong is fab too, you can use it to cover yourself from the sun or lie on or wrap around your waist, or dry your hair, Best things .
Don't forget your rashie and a hat and sunscreen on your FEET!
It's like people in cold countries wouldn't go out without a scarf and a coat and boots etc. Just the same.
OP you will be fine I hope you have taken some ibuprofen or paracetamol and are lying in a cool bath drinking lots of water ( and maybe the odd wine). best wishes,

Makes me grateful for my friends, who are kind…

People on the this thread are being overly harsh and completely OTT.

Sorry - that is a dangerous myth. Just because someone is “brown as a berry” from being in the sun does not mean they have “acclimatised”. It just means they have a lot of permanent sun damage. I have lots of older relatives in Australia who grew up running around in the sun, getting brown, and now many of them are dealing with skin cancer.

You're getting a hard time here OP. It's not like you did it on purpose. Your friend is being unreasonable.

Refund some of the cost, WTAF?!

Agree with this. Any excuse for a bitchy pile on it seems.

Cover up, put some flip flops on and join her. Take some ibuprofen if you can, for the pain.

I live in the Caribbean and I assume you're around this area for you to have a sun holiday. The sun here is incredibly fierce and it gets hot sooner than in Europe because we're closer to the equator I.e. in Spain it's still not too bad around 10 am on the beach but 10 am here is horribly hot already. So many pasty white tourists come here and get really badly burnt.Those of us who live here are usually in rash vests for a lot of the time.

Neither of you is unreasonable. Just a real shame all around.

I had a friend do this once, on our first day. With her though, she put cream on once in the morning and then despite me regularly suggesting she put more on, kept saying she was fine/would do it in a bit and as a result ended up scarlet from head to toe, unable to even tolerate clothes the next day, with sunstroke to boot. And meant the rest of our holiday was spent with her sitting in the shade/struggling to move/not wanting to go out in the evenings beyond a quick meal.

I was really pissed off because she did that to herself and wasn't even in the slightest bit apologetic, and just expected me to sit around with her.

Your situation sounds very different in that you took the necessary precautions, and you're not insisting she stays with you 100% of the time. So whilst I understand her frustration, it's no different to if you'd come down with an illness or broken your leg or something. She needs to suck it up and go and do the stuff she wants to do on her own.

How sympathetic I would be to your friend and her views would depend on where you are holidaying, and if it is a place where a woman could visit somewhere alone without abuse/hassle or worse.

It is a genuinely unexpected thing though. Perhaps part of the cause of the OPs friend and her response is the extent to which holidays and experiences are built up to be so important.