AIBU: to want my ds to use certain words and criticise DH for using others?

[Spidermummy]

I know that I am going to come under fire for this, but here goes...
I was brought up not to use certain words, such as toilet, couch, dinner, pardon etc and personally use loo, sofa, supper and sorry, instead. Have been trying to encourage my DS (3yo) to do the same, but he hears the former words at nursery, knows they annoy me and therefore uses them on purpose. This I can handle, just keep repeating the words I think he should be using and refuse to answer unless he does. The problem is that DH uses mostly the former as well, so DS is getting confused. I have tried correcting DH, which doesn't go down very well strangely enough, he thinks I'm being a snob basically. I try to be sensitive about it, but feel very strongly about this and refuse to compromise. My DH also uses English very badly in sentences, eg.'I was sat down' which is one of my pet hates. We were both brought up the same and it is pure laziness that he speaks this way, but it is of course going to cause more and more problems with DC's. Am I being unreasonable to keep correcting the both of them, or should I leave it alone?

Sadly this reminds me of a relative (my uncle's second wife, so only related indirectly) who was not allowed to spend any time with her grandchildren because their snooty parents thought that they might 'catch' her accent and suddenly 'go common'. FFS!

To the OP... get a grip. It's not the 1950s!

MMJ, I also say scullery and back yard rather than garden

not heard back kitchen though

ming ming... do you ever call it a belly button or is it always tummy button or navel?

My mum was in the navel camp... don't think my father ever had the recourse to use any term!

I now say belly button and think it's quite ok

but always tummy and tummy ache!!

mmj you must be well posh to have a back kitchen! A restaurant has just opened near me called the Scullery and it makes me think of a room piled high with dirty dishes.

Yeah, hadn't though of it before but I do say belly button - not that i probably have to say it that much.

DD always complaining of tummy ache though, so it is a commonly used term around here.

Stomache ache and belly button in this house, my dp says sarnie for sandwich.... it makes my blood boil!!

I thought loo came from the French "l'eau" as in gardy loo (watch out for the water, meaning the chamber pot being chucked out of the window pre sewers!).

How bizarre to think that the vocabulary habits of one group of people aren't just habits but actually truly, objectively better.

LOL LaurieFairycake!
and words words words....
gerra loife OP!

You can't do anything about this. You'll just have to swallow it, lead by example and let ds make up his own mind.

(But you might want to consider abandoning this thread and start one in Pedant's Corner, where I'm sure you will be greeted with more sympathy.)

How is using dinner as the midday meal middle class? I would have thought of it as working class. I was bought up to say dinner and tea. Nowadays it is quite often lunch and tea although we might call it dinner if we were going out. And would call it dinner on Sunday if we were eating a big meal in the middle of the day - this happens infrequently.

Oh and OP I think YABU!

To me "back kitchen" invokes the idea of a small single story addition at the back of a terrace house. So you have the front room/parlour that is traditionally never/rarely used. Then behind that you have the kitchen that is used for everything - cooking, eating, sitting. Then you have the back kitchen running down one side of the back yard with the sink in. And attached to the far end of this might be a coal hole, a wash house, an outside toilet etc.

You actually want to be wary of correcting children anyway IMO.
One of DS1's friends was at our house for a pre reception meet up and, in front of a roomful of people she corrected another mother who said to her child
" i am just going to the toilet and then we must go"
Small child piped up with
" you shouldn't say toilet, it is very common. You should say lavatory"

Can you guess how popular a playdate that child was thereafter?

bozza - that's what we called the scullery

Here we go again, it seems to me Mumsnetters love to flash their class credentials by letting us know whether they say loo or toilet at the slightest opportunity.

"Mumsnetters love to flash their class credentials"

Reminds me of that Colemanballs athletics commentary - 'the big Cuban opens his legs and shows his class'.

I was showing my parents round my new house
'and this is the lounge'
Dad 'your mother prefers sitting room'

gah!

booge, is there an award for the most upper class usage? My grandmother, daughter of a farmer (not when they were rich folk) used all 'proper' english, but lived in a one bedroom council house.
Where as I lived in a tudor mansion and say lavvy, sarnie, tracky bottoms and dinner and tea!!!! Not really a WAG!!!
Seriously when I speak in a, hopefully, comprehensive enough way as to be understood and a universal way as to not be exclusive that's enough isn't it???
Besides upper class english is less true to our mother tongue than american english, just look in your closet!!

Thought this was going to be a juicy thread about swearing or at the very least slang words. In the grand scheme of things whether you go to the toilet or the loo or lav or whatever really isn't that important. Wait till your ds is a teenager he'll no doubt be using plenty of words he has picked up from his friends at school that you don't approve of and using them all the more if he knows they p**ss you off !!!!Half the time I can't understand a word my ds and his mates say!!!

Just because I reread and it's not sooo funny I do not live in a tudor mansion or say scouse like slang for stuff, as I am not from Liverpool and would sound quite ridiculous using someone else's colloquailisms.

I really don't get the pardon/sorry/what thing at all. "What?" would sound rude and a tad aggressive to me. Then again I've never claimed to be anywhere near Upper Class. And as a lot of people on this thread have said if your language is polite and easily understood what exactly is the problem?

Hairy, It is the correct term although quite right it sounds rude, I can't remember where I read it.
I think pardon/sorry is when you don't hear, not when you apologise.

Alright, thanks everyone, so the general consensus is that I am being unreasonable. Therefore I will stop trying to correct both dh and ds and take the advice of the most sensible post from HariyToe: "if your language is polite and easily understood what exactly is the problem". I agree, good point well made.