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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU: to want my ds to use certain words and criticise DH for using others?

138 replies

Spidermummy · 28/04/2008 10:39

I know that I am going to come under fire for this, but here goes...
I was brought up not to use certain words, such as toilet, couch, dinner, pardon etc and personally use loo, sofa, supper and sorry, instead. Have been trying to encourage my DS (3yo) to do the same, but he hears the former words at nursery, knows they annoy me and therefore uses them on purpose. This I can handle, just keep repeating the words I think he should be using and refuse to answer unless he does. The problem is that DH uses mostly the former as well, so DS is getting confused. I have tried correcting DH, which doesn't go down very well strangely enough, he thinks I'm being a snob basically. I try to be sensitive about it, but feel very strongly about this and refuse to compromise. My DH also uses English very badly in sentences, eg.'I was sat down' which is one of my pet hates. We were both brought up the same and it is pure laziness that he speaks this way, but it is of course going to cause more and more problems with DC's. Am I being unreasonable to keep correcting the both of them, or should I leave it alone?

OP posts:
aDad · 28/04/2008 11:01

Let it go, you are making a big deal of this and your DS can see it.

You can't shield him from words that other people use forever.

WigWamBam · 28/04/2008 11:02

Do you not think that it is the variety of words we can chose from which makes English the lovely, rich, expressive language which it is?

Most of the French words have been around for well over a thousand years; if that's not established enough for you then what is? I have to say, if you want to stick with unadulterated words which didn't come from another language, you'd have a very, very small vocabulary.

paddycat · 28/04/2008 11:04

Forgot to say my mil considers "toilet" very common but says "umberella", "tumbler dryer" "cerstificate" and others besides. Each to their own, then!

FreddysTeddy · 28/04/2008 11:04

Loo is a better word than toilet? I think Loo sounds dreadfully common!

In answer to your OP, yes, YABU, I can't believe you ignore your son for saying dinner.

chipmonkey · 28/04/2008 11:04

Spidermama, I feel your pain but sorry, YABU!

Flibbertyjibbet · 28/04/2008 11:04

Kate Middletons mother was ridiculed by snobs because she asked where the loo was, and didn't use the word 'toilet'.

Ridiculed probably by all the upper class mothers whose daughters Prince William isn't interested in

So I guess that makes you a snob, OP. And a teeeeny bit control freaky in your house.

themildmanneredjanitor · 28/04/2008 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Turniphead1 · 28/04/2008 11:06

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

themildmanneredjanitor · 28/04/2008 11:06

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Joash · 28/04/2008 11:07

how can the women be called a snob when she prefers words like couch and loo?

themildmanneredjanitor · 28/04/2008 11:07

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EffiePerine · 28/04/2008 11:08

YABU. Do you use looking glass instead of mirror?

English is a great language because if its variety (both in grammar and vocabulary). I think you need to embrace the differences

themildmanneredjanitor · 28/04/2008 11:08

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WowOoo · 28/04/2008 11:09

What do posh types say then? I use loo asit's the easiest thing for a little one to understand. We go to the toilet to wash our hands etc and of course to go to the toilet. I like saying 'Ladies/ Powder Room' coz I wish I had one all to myself....

Pesha · 28/04/2008 11:09

Don't quite a lot of our 'English words' actually come from french and latin and the vikings and a whole heap more languages I can't think of right now?! If you're only going to use proper 'English' words you're going to find yourself with a very limited vocabulary!! English is evolving all the time, thats what makes it such an interesting and expressive language.

No problem with correcting grammar but limiting their vocabulary to words you deem to be appropriate is taking things too far IMO.

FreddysTeddy · 28/04/2008 11:09

Couch sounds terribly american to me. What about settee, is that banned too?

You are hilarious. Clearly nothing better to worry about in your life.

MargaretMountford · 28/04/2008 11:09

Tippychick - did you say portion ?? that is one of the words that makes me shudder ! I prefer ds to use the words I was brought up with - napkin, sitting room, lavatory etc - but he picks up toilet etc from school and it's pretty hard to stop him,just remind him every so often that it's lavatory or lav or loo etc I am more concerned in a way by his using correct grammar !

prettybird · 28/04/2008 11:10

I agree with TheFallenMadonna - correct the grammar but not the vocabulary. Your views on the words used are just an opinion - the words are not actually being used incorrectly - but the grammar is just plain wrong.

However, I don't think you can correct your dh in front of your ds. Once your ds is older and can ask questions about why your dh says things in a way that if he (ds) says them, you correct him, you can tell him that he has a chance to learn the correct way to say things.

FreddysTeddy · 28/04/2008 11:10

"lav"

Oh that's sooooo classy.

PMSL.

MargaretMountford · 28/04/2008 11:10

I don't go as far as insisting on looking glass and neither do I pronounce Mass as Marss which my grandma did

MargaretMountford · 28/04/2008 11:12

lav is miles more classy than toilet I think you'll find ! toilet is just twee because it means that you aren't really talking about the thing you pee in..

themildmanneredjanitor · 28/04/2008 11:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WowOoo · 28/04/2008 11:12

Supper is at least in the evening, right?! Ds gets confused because if it's a light snack before bed (or in the day) it's supper. Prob got it from my snob of a dh, it was not me.
oh, posh say lavatory? Too long to try to say in a hurry!!

MargaretMountford · 28/04/2008 11:12

settee isn't U either

EffiePerine · 28/04/2008 11:12

mahss

and garahge

DH had a colleague who said plAHstic - nails running down blackboard