AIBU: to want my ds to use certain words and criticise DH for using others?

[Spidermummy]

I know that I am going to come under fire for this, but here goes...
I was brought up not to use certain words, such as toilet, couch, dinner, pardon etc and personally use loo, sofa, supper and sorry, instead. Have been trying to encourage my DS (3yo) to do the same, but he hears the former words at nursery, knows they annoy me and therefore uses them on purpose. This I can handle, just keep repeating the words I think he should be using and refuse to answer unless he does. The problem is that DH uses mostly the former as well, so DS is getting confused. I have tried correcting DH, which doesn't go down very well strangely enough, he thinks I'm being a snob basically. I try to be sensitive about it, but feel very strongly about this and refuse to compromise. My DH also uses English very badly in sentences, eg.'I was sat down' which is one of my pet hates. We were both brought up the same and it is pure laziness that he speaks this way, but it is of course going to cause more and more problems with DC's. Am I being unreasonable to keep correcting the both of them, or should I leave it alone?

WowOo, good point!

Think she's just training her DS that it's ok to ignore people if they say something you don't like.

He could grow up to be a very rude little boy if she does that.

Mumblechum - think it's because of that song "oh dear, what can the matter be? Three old ladies stuck in the lavatory.."

LOl!

Toilet is nicer then Loo
Pardon is polite and better then sorry
Dinner/supper
Couch/ sofa who cares.

I think you need to let go tbh.

Personally, it seems there's a clear difference between language which is actually incorrect (e.g. "I was sat down"), language which may be considered offensive or rude (e.g. "arse") and simply snobbery. Whilst it's important that children need to understand the first two, making children conform to the latter is not only precious and faux-elitist, it's actually wrong.

Take your example that you'd rather they didn't use French words when there are perfectly serviceable alternatives. I imagine I'm correct in thinking that you also exclude the other 30,000 French words we've adopted into the English language - for example, you also insist that they call bacon "pork rashers" and blankets "bedspreads" and God forbid you use any more recently imported French words like "duvet" or "accommodation".

More importantly, English is an evolving language. The words which you insist on using are based on already antiquated ideas of class-use of language, based, I imagine on what your parents thought was appropriate? By the time your DS reaches an age where the use of language will have any impact (if at all) on his life, you can be certain that these words will be even more dated. Look at all the studies on, for example, the increasing use of regional English and American English throughout society.

I don't like couch or lounge, i normally say lunch and dinner, or tea if it's for the DC's after school, and we never say 'pardon' it's always excuse me, but that's how I was bought up, so I tell the DC's to use the same words, I don't correct DP though if he says the 'wrong' words, though he has taken to using the same ones I do.

the notion that certain words are 'correct' because they're posh is clearly daft. As it is for them to be rigid about them.

But to suggest that people who use (and prefer) the posh version are wrong to do so is also daft. It's about your cultural experience. If that's how you speak, what does it matter if your kids do too? It's only really a problem when people come from different cultural backgrounds - as my family do. so you have to make a decision.

Or bicker.

But to tell others to use certain words because they're 'nice' or polite is also pretty affected.

Saying pardon, dinner instead of lunch just grates and sounds awful to me. And lots of these 'polite' words are simply affected euphemisms dreamed up by to salve middle class anxieties anyway. No better than the posh versions.

anniemac, I love it when my non-uk friends use different words, especially as often they seem more logical - I especially love "lounge room"!

It's 'toilet' when they get to school [grimace]! My DCs say loo at home, lav at my mothers and toilet at school, we don't make them say anything, they're just copying. So they're tri-lingual.

Anniemac, don't forget togs and jandals!

This thread is doing nothing for the snob in me - I'm loving that I'm in the sofa, supper, loo 'set' - really need to get a life (as for sitting room, ours was a drawing room! )

the beauty of being a single parent is... it leaves no potential for 'contamination' from dp/dh's low use of the English language

Doesn't supper come from the French 'souper' which originally meant to eat soup and now means to eat a light evening meal?

I think it unreasonable to expect your DS to use certain words. If he is doing it to wind you up then you have created an issue out of it. Is it really worth it?

I would say, leave it be. You can explain your preferences and the reasons behind to him when he is older. He might choose to follow your example.

Supper just refers to an evening meal whereas dinner means that it is the main meal of the day, so unless your 'supper' is always light your dh may well be more correct.
Pardon is historically better than using 'sorry' for something you haven't heard and the even more correct yet never used is 'what?'.
Couch is generic and sofa has to have two arms and a back.
I think correcting your dh too much over things that do not matter are detrimental by making him look like an idiot in front of his children, I can understand that it may annoy you but there are bigger fish to fry than what he sits on!!

ah I use 'front room' which is really common

Ok so now you've got me - togs and jandles? My dh says togs for swimming stuff, is that the same? (but he is from the UK). Mind you he says gumboots too. And I really like "lollies" but is that just sweets as in non-chocolate or the whole kit and caboodle?

I'm just coming on here to say COCK

YABU

I come from a background where all this sort of class/words stuff was important, but what a great leveller it has been to have a child with special needs. My autistic son has very few words, but I was delighted when he started telling us he needed to go for a wee wee on the toilet, with his own special made-up word - "weetoi". It sums it all up I think so I suggest we change loo/lav/toilet etc to weetoi and bypass the whole outdated class / language debate. Anyway it's all a waste of time, as the kids are watching so much US TV and using so many US websites that we'll all end up calling it the restroom within 10 years I bet!

I can't stand the word 'belly' - it just grates. I prefer to use tummy.

eg - Have you got a tummy ache?

not, Have you got a belly ache?

"Am I being unreasonable to keep correcting the both of them,". this is a wind up, right? correcting? who's to say that you are right and they are wrong? Get a grip woman.