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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To highlight this case of voyeurism in what appears to have been a unisex toilet on private premises?

329 replies

BadSkiingMum · 18/11/2024 18:04

I came across this case of a voyeur who placed phone cameras under the sink in a toilet. Note that this did not even make BBC news - this is on a local London website.

Women secretly recorded by south east London voyeur | This Is Local London

This was a toilet in a hairdresser, so not open to passers by and with the need to make a booking to enter the premises. So it would seem to be a low-risk environment. But unfortunately this did not prevent an employee from committing a crime. While the article is not clear that the toilet was unisex, presumably the offender was able to enter the toilet and place the phones inside because he was using it himself and was therefore unlikely to be challenged.

In my opinion this case suggests that unisex toilets, even those which are in what we could consider to be a relatively 'safe' environment, present greater risk than toilets separated by sex.

OP posts:
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Chersfrozenface · 21/11/2024 12:19

AuxArmesCitoyens · 21/11/2024 12:11

I do have an argument for non-gendered loos, actually, is that they are better for mixed-gender groups e.g. a dad out with a small daughter or a hetero couple where one is carer for the other.

That is an argument for mixed sex toilets in addition to single sex toilets.

Or even better, there should be more disabled toilets and parent-and-child toilets. (I would argue that anyone who meeds a carer is entitled to use a disabled toilet.) Gloucester services on the M5 provide an example of good facilities.

Myfluffyblanket · 21/11/2024 12:22

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 21/11/2024 10:47

So yet more words just to say what's already been said -

I only care that I get to use services, toilets, sports because that's all I care about. Me.

I don't care that other women may not be able to use the things I use due to them being increasingly mixed sex as they don't want to be around men for a plethora of reasons because it's not up to me to be bothered about that. (But I'll continue to engage anyway and tell them how much I don't care, despite not caring).

I'm going to get upset if other people try to persuade me otherwise with evidence and stats as to why including men is harmful, as I don't care. (Even though I'm on a discussion forum).

I'm going to call people transphobic though because I DO care about women not including transwomen who are also men in these spaces I don't care about, but somehow take precedence over your bog standard men (whom I don't care about).

RIIIIIIIIGGHHHTTT. 🙄

Yup , I think you have summed up certain posters' mindset perfectly .
I'm not transphobic ; I do not have an irrational fear of people who choose to wear the clothes of the opposite sex , I am risk-averse . I am careful going up ladders , using my chainsaw and very , very careful about being in enclosed spaces with men who may have nefarious reasons for being there .
I am also careful on behalf of women and children who are less informed than I on matters of safety or who are less able to protect themselves and object out loud to the presence of men in women's only spaces .
It's an empathy thing , a humanitarian thing . We're not trying to bludgeon you into this way of thinking , Peaches et al , although I can see how you feel that we are , we're just trying to show you that some women and girls NEED our voices to keep them safe .

lifeturnsonadime · 21/11/2024 12:24

AuxArmesCitoyens · 21/11/2024 12:11

I do have an argument for non-gendered loos, actually, is that they are better for mixed-gender groups e.g. a dad out with a small daughter or a hetero couple where one is carer for the other.

Yes fantastic in addition to single sex options.

Helleofabore · 21/11/2024 15:57

AuxArmesCitoyens · 21/11/2024 12:11

I do have an argument for non-gendered loos, actually, is that they are better for mixed-gender groups e.g. a dad out with a small daughter or a hetero couple where one is carer for the other.

It is a great argument to have these as additional toilets. I have seen this often and when reading the feedback about the toilets that the government consultation released, it was something mentioned there too iirc.

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