To struggle on this salary?

[Unfff]

Or more to the point… think it’s just not worth the hard work anymore?

Had enough. I earn 3,100 a month. My mortgage is 900 and car finance 300. Student loans 300. Nursery is 800 and I get 400 child maintenance. By the time I’ve paid bills… this months heating was 150! Water another 50. Phone bill and Netflix… I’m left with barely anything. My job is really full on and I work late or weekends often… I do t strictly have to but it’s the sort of job where you just do… otherwise things fall apart.

I don’t do expensive things. Can’t actually remember last time I went on holiday! AIBU to find it utterly miserable that taking home this much money means you still can’t just buy a coat or even new jumper etc without having to think twice?!

Someone’s stealing from you? 🧐

Oh that sucks OP. You're definitely not being unreasonable.

I'm sure the MN brigade will be along shortly with good, practical advice - just wanted to commiserate. I was on similar for a few years and it sucked - just surviving and no fun!

Are you not eligible for a bit of UC towards the nursery fees?

Hang in there. Nursery isn’t forever.

Your salary £3100+ £400 maintenance
your listed outgoings £2500
leaving £1000 left over, I’d suggest combing through 3 months bank statements with a highlighter and seeing where you are overspending

@LittleRedRidingHoody i checked if I was entitled to anything but you have to earn loads less. I just feel like working is pointless at the moment.

@TwinklyRoseTurtle theres so many bills though that I’m not left with 1,000. I have car tax, home and car insurance etc. it’s far less than that

On a £3k salary?

She has a mortgage. No chance of UC with one child, that salary and a mortgage. Maybe if she was renting.

To be fair the early years with a child are hard for everyone. They will be harder for you if it’s just you and your child.
Hang on in there; it gets easier when they go to school.

I would write a list of all your ingoings/outgoings a month, go through bank statements see what unnecessary things you pay for and make a budget. Loads of examples on Instagram/ online how to create a budget, nursery fees aren’t forever

. I just feel like working is pointless at the moment.

Well then your math ain't mathing because you'd have even less coming in if you weren't working.

Working isn't pointless if its paying for your home, food and bills childcare. You're just expecting a relatively affluent lifestyle off one not especially high salary with childcare costs coming out of it.

Is that your salary before or after tax/pension deductions? What’s your actual take home pay?

First I commiserate. It does feel like very hard work for not a lot of return and I think everyone would love some money left over for fun.

But it might help a bit to reframe your thinking, in that you dont have nothing to show for it. You have a home, a car and nursery and heating. These are big essential things, that life would be uncomfortable without. Nursery is a childcare professional in a setting, set up for child development. What a great thing to be able to give to your child. And before long that cost will drop.

Can you not get any child benefit, free childcare hours or tax free childcare?

Op

I see your point. Everything is so god damn expensive.

The govt in this country has found a great way to swipe all our money one way or another!

You have checked that you can’t get help with childcare costs via UC?

You get £3,500 per month (take-home pay plus CM). Your mortgage, car loan, student loan, nursery, water, and electricity bills bring that down to £1000.

It's still £1000 left. It's not nothing, is it! Obviously there are other bills to come out of that, but they won't be adding up to £1000.

It's just what having a child in nursery means. You have a good amount to live on - you're just spending it on life.

Nursery isn't forever. Crippling yes but it will get better. Your mortgage will reduce too. You just need to hold in there

It infuriates me that a single mum ends up paying the whole of childcare costs , because she has the child on all working days. Meanwhile, the father gets by with what I call a token contribution

Everyone struggles in the nursery years. Or they did until the funded hours was extended. It's the choice parents have to make. Won't be for long

The child's dad should be paying half of the childcare costs IMO.

You need to complete the budget spreadsheet on the Money Saving expert website and write down every single outgoing, weekly, monthly and yearly and this will help illustrate where it’s going, how much you could potentially save and if there’s anywhere that you could cut back (include every single thing like green bin payments for council, boiler service, birthday party for your child, opticians apt, dentist, Mother’s Day gifts for nana etc).

This will also help illustrate how much more you will have left when you’re not paying nursery fees, but you will need to factor in before and after school care possibly and cover in the school holidays

Nursery is short term. It’ll feel like more once you’re through that stage… until uni stage 😭 dc are expensive.

This - everyone struggles in the nursery years, it will get better OP.

obviously if you stopped working you would have far far less money which would be much worse.

i agree that it’s not that bad but you (rightly) expect a few treats after hard work- they’ll come when the nursery fees go.

There is plenty not included there- council tax, tv licence, car, food, electric (only heating up there) phone bill and netflix was mentioned but not included in total, home insurance

I usually read these and it's down to poor budgeting but not in your case. It sounds like high housing costs and childcare that's crippling you.

Can you do anything about the car finance?

Is the student loan payment correct? I'm on £32k and pay less than £10 a month on my student loan.

Is the £3100 before or after tax?

It sucks overall, but personally I think £300 monthly on a car is really high, could you change it to something cheaper? I earn a similar amount and I’ve never even considered paying out that much for a car.