To struggle on this salary?

[Unfff]

Or more to the point… think it’s just not worth the hard work anymore?

Had enough. I earn 3,100 a month. My mortgage is 900 and car finance 300. Student loans 300. Nursery is 800 and I get 400 child maintenance. By the time I’ve paid bills… this months heating was 150! Water another 50. Phone bill and Netflix… I’m left with barely anything. My job is really full on and I work late or weekends often… I do t strictly have to but it’s the sort of job where you just do… otherwise things fall apart.

I don’t do expensive things. Can’t actually remember last time I went on holiday! AIBU to find it utterly miserable that taking home this much money means you still can’t just buy a coat or even new jumper etc without having to think twice?!

I totally agree. A contribution of £400 per month from the father means it is not even covering nursery charges… that seems so grossly unfair. Especially since it is the mother that is taking full responsibility for their child. Why should the mother be shouldering all the responsibility?

I don't understand how you have no money left with that salary and outgoings, have you done a budget?

No, the MN brigade will be along telling her that she’s failing to mention her designer bags or something and that people on 5k/year living in zone 1 London are going to spain in august for £300 flights inc so she has a problem and should stop whinging.

…. And you’ll get told to fuck off and stop pushing house prices up with your londoner money

I don’t know why everyone is giving you a hard time over this?! I’m in a similar situation but with a partner and 2 lots of nursery fees almost £1000 month and car finance etc and we spend £600 month minimum on food and that’s with being careful and mortgage repayments. There’s nothing left! I go without clothes etc and worry about covering food for the last week of every month. I think lots of people are struggling atm that are on what used to be considered ‘decent’ salaries. I’d ask for a bit more maintenance and you literally just got to ride this out until little one starts school. I’m sorry it’s such a miserable time for you. One thing I will say is that I changed my job as it was stressful like yours and managed to find same salary with reasonable hours. At least it’s helped to alleviate some stress and I’d recommend you try and do the same. Money stress is horrible and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone! Everyone is feeling the pinch

I get wanting your money to go further, and being frustrated that our parents seemed better off.

But I don’t understand the logic of saying you shouldn’t bother / should have got an entry level job. Then you’d have even less money?

The student loan repayment is high and you must have financed that yourself otherwise it would come out with your tax. Was it for 9k fees? If so at that monthly payment surely you won’t be paying it for long. Like nursery fees. When both those are done you’ll be £1100 a month better off - surely that’s something to look forward to?

£300 on a car lease?! Expensive choice! I had a car on hire purchase in 2021. Second hand Skoda fabia. Cost me £53 a month 😂 but then I don’t care about fancy cars!

So?

That is why people space out their kids.

Perhaps one of the things to consider is not cutting on expenses that would make life even more miserable, but strategizing ways to earn more, or making a plan to have a job that makes you smile.
YANBU to me, life should more than bills and duties, personal satisfaction should also be included

I'm confused by the student loan repayments of £300 a month? That seems like an awful lot for a that salary - are you overpaying if so maybe cut this down a bit?

I still don't understand why the ex doesn't pay half the nursery fees or have to arrange his own childcare for 50% of the time?

Is this normal that men just pay the minimum Child maintenance payments but obfuscate responsibility for childcare?

"i’m on £61,000 less than her"

No you're not. The OP is earning around £50k.

And your £1200 a month is after your rent and Council Tax has been paid by the taxpayer (people such as the OP).

The OP only has £1000 after paying her mortgage and bills, so you're in very similar financial situations.

That is true as well. Although to be fair people who buy houses to live in aren't really the problem. It's the ones who stay in London and buy up a portfolio of properties all over the country to rent out as slums that are the problem!

My ex pays £147 a month child maintenance, and has never contributed towards childcare or helped towards school uniform or anything extra at all. He has a good accountant and does cash in hand work to hide some income. Lots of exes don't see it as their problem and resent even paying the bare minimum.

@Unfff yes, it's a struggle as a single parent, but as someone who didn't get a degree and is stuck on an entry level salary as a result, I promise it was definitely worth getting the education and it really is worth working. I will be stuck renting forever as, despite being able to cover my rent, no bank will give me a mortgage. Your mortgage will end one day and is such a good investment for your future. The childcare years are hellish but are also not forever. It feels like you're working for nothing now but you will reap the rewards later. You just need to hang in there for a bit and maybe try to look at things a little differently. You have warmth, food, a roof - these are not nothing. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all, and I'm not going to compare lifestyles as mine is a little different to yours, but it's all relative and you have certainly earned it.

If she is on UC she will probably some of her rent and some of her council tax. UC often only pay a percentage of the rent.

You steamrolled into the thread dumping your judgement on the OP and are now clutching your pearls because I made assumptions about your finances.

If you read the OP's original post, you'll see that you're in an almost identical financial situation - but she works full-time and will therefore have additional work related outgoings.

Perhaps it's you that needs to stop making assumptions.

I pay around £16 each for my pillow cases. They are 800 thread count Egyptian cotton. It must be the good stuff that you are buying!

I know, we have a mortgage and claim UC. People presume you (general) are wealthy and shouldn't be claiming benefits if you have a mortgage. 😄🙄 I was just clearing up that UC often only pays some of the rent and the tenant has to pay the rest.

The OP has £3100 + child maintenance £400 = £3500.

Mortgage = £900
Council tax = £150
Car finance = £300
Student loan = £300
Nursery = £800
Heating = £150
Water = £50
Total = £2650

She also has unlisted bills such as mobile phone, broadband, car insurance, car tax, etc.

And she's also supporting her child.

£850 per month isn't much to pay for all those bills, the costs associated with a full-time job and also supporting her daughter.

Your income is actually very similar to the OP's but you're determined to paint her as somehow feckless and ungrateful compared to yourself.

Just out of interest, how many kids are you supporting on your income? Do you live alone or do you have other people contributing to your home's finances?

So?