To struggle on this salary?

[Unfff]

Or more to the point… think it’s just not worth the hard work anymore?

Had enough. I earn 3,100 a month. My mortgage is 900 and car finance 300. Student loans 300. Nursery is 800 and I get 400 child maintenance. By the time I’ve paid bills… this months heating was 150! Water another 50. Phone bill and Netflix… I’m left with barely anything. My job is really full on and I work late or weekends often… I do t strictly have to but it’s the sort of job where you just do… otherwise things fall apart.

I don’t do expensive things. Can’t actually remember last time I went on holiday! AIBU to find it utterly miserable that taking home this much money means you still can’t just buy a coat or even new jumper etc without having to think twice?!

Why are you listing student loan as a payment, has this not already been deducted with tax and NI?

It's really difficult, OP, I can fully sympathise and am in a similar position.

Think about the bigger picture: think ahead to 5 years, 10, retirement. It is worth it. I totally get there are days it doesn't feel it, i torally get the slog, but the alternative is worse.

And there are plenty of days, I feel the same way too.

Working is worth it because benefits are a lot less and you’d get no help with a mortgage. What’s the alternative? Cost of living is high, unfortunately. You will save on childcare fees as years go by but you’ll find other things associated with older children replace that. I would definitely go over your budget though, to see where you can stretch your money further.

Is there a chance of promotion or more money with you work? If so, hang in there it will be worth it.

@Chan9eusername i feel like this is a high salary though!

Why is your heating do high? Are you heating a mansion in the north of Scotland? Or is test your total gas/electric combined?

OP I totally understand. We are fortunate that we can afford it.

Yesterday, we spent over 1.5k, new tumble drier £400, filled up a car £150, popped to Tesco £230, new bedding £500, hair and beauty appointment £350, lunch and a few other bits.

Thats not including the dogs groom and vet appointment.

I do not know how some people do it and we should have wages that support people, a new jumper, should not be a luxury.

Exactly what I was thinking. I am all for UC and think our benefits system often isn't enough, but no way should OP be entitled to any extra on that wage.
Car finance is a choice too, she didn't need to choose a car with monthly payments, she could have bought a cheaper one outright or on much smaller monthly payments.

This is hilarious

It deffo is a high salary, and once those nursery fees are gone and you’ve paid off your car you will start feeling the benefits. You’re in an expensive part of life

My student loan is a professional post graduate loan

Five HUNDRED pounds on new bedding or is that a typo?

Should go to ikea. The 35 quid set I bought 10 years is still going strong.

I thought this too. It's how I frame it for myself. It is hard OP, these early years are a kicker and everything feels so expensive at the moment, but try to keep your chin up ❤️

Thing si, if you stop working, you will not be returning to this level of salary a couple of years from now. So it's not exactly pointless.

Hang in there. It's tight but you are paying towards an asset (property), and aren't going into a negative balance.

By the time you have spent it all you don't have anything left ...

It sounds like you have around 1000 a month to cover food and savings and fun? Yet you can't afford a jumper?

£1000 to me sounds like a lot, so clearly sone of this is expectations - you have high expectations, perhaps you had quite a well off childhood and are only now seeing that most people don't have that kind of luxuries ?

Write down what you do spend on. Find out what the average spend is on those things. Work out what your priorities are because being able to buy anything on a whim isn't normal life

Totally get how frustrating this must feel!

Childcare seems extortionate I wish there was more help with this. I’m assuming the cost of wraparound will be less when they start school? So at least you will be a bit less squeezed then.

What’s your mortgage rate and how long left? Is there any chance of getting a better deal which could reduce your payments?

Does your child’s dad not contribute either?

Filled up 1 car for 150 quid? ….just be a big car…..my car is 60 quid and full ( 1.5 golf)
my hair costs 70 quid for half hi lites and cut and blow…never have beauty treatments
would never spend 500 quid on bedding…l.think you are doing just fine

Op we had nursery bills between 800-£900 and we are now only paying £100 due to dc turning 3 and getting funded hours.
hang in there nursery fees won’t be forever and hopefully give some room to maybe buy a little something now and then x

How old is your child?

It's worth remembering that paying into s pension and mortgage means you are building assets. It won't seem like it now but you will be so grateful in a few years.

Once nursery fees end you will have more breathing space.

Filled up a car for £150? What kind of car do you have? Mine’s £30 for a full tank. When I had a bigger car ford focus size it was max £50 for a full tank. Is it a Range Rover?

how people do it? easy- get a smaller car it will cost less.

same with bedding £500? From where? M&S do duvet set for £50.

£350 for hair and beauty? Again costs me £120 max.

even bloody Tesco £230. I do my weekly shop at Ocado and it costs around £120 for four of us plus dog.

you don’t know how people do it? There are much less extravagant options.

I think car leases are the biggest rip off, at least with hire purchase you own the cars at the end. I have a friend who moans about bills but has 2 cars on lease paying £800 a month. Over a year that is £9,600 and that's £96,000 over 10years. If they have bought 2 cars for £15k each (decent used cars, low mileage) they would've saved £70,000 over 10yrs.
I bought a hire purchase car for £8995 and I've had it 15years. People don't need a shiny new cars to pretend to look wealthy every 3yrs. Most of those people's bombing around in Land Rovers own nothing and never will. It's all an illusion. Work smart, don't work hard!

Your sums don’t add up. You should have enough for treats.

Can you write out exactly what your outgoings are as it doesn’t make sense.

Go to a charity shop for bedding.

2 new extra deep fitted sheets and 2x new bedding sets. Came to £500. We are lucky to be able to afford it, but it was eye opening M&S if you want to know..

I had huge fuel bills at my previous address and complained. The energy company was wrong! £150 a month sounds enormous, my bills were more than that and I was on my own, had I not complained and they not investigated I would have been in a right pickle. Therefort alle, look into that one.

I don't think there is much that can be done about the rest. I am sure some other people will come up with suggestions, eg take a lodger or something, but not all suggestions are feasible (I would never have a lodger). You could perhaps let a room through air b'n'b occasionally, if you have the room. That would bring in some extra cash and it wouldn't be all the time.

I'm so sorry. I can remember being very hard up years ago and it was so wearing. I ('we' at that time, I am now widowed and retired), felt permanently anxious and so demoralised.

All I can say is it doesn't last forever, things will get better.

Good luck.