To be annoyed at DMIL for putting a wet towel in the dustbin?

[FloralFantastic]

DS peed on the bathmat this evening - the in laws were kindly babysitting. When we got home we were told that DMIL had thrown away the bathmat - in the outside bin, drenched with both water and pee. Rubbish won't be collected for another week. I was livid at 1) the wastefulness as would have just washed in, and 2) why on earth she'd put it in wet, as whilst I'm not gonna eat my dinner from my outside bin I'd also rather not needlessly invite bacteria and mould to it. She said she put it in a bin bag if that helps.

DH is telling me I'm being needlessly irate and should 'just' be grateful for the babysitters - thoughts?!

They're minding the kids for several days?
She could dispose of every textile in my house and I still would not say a word.

Erm if you're not there for a few days, does she know how your machine works? I wouldn't want a pissy thing sat in there for days.

I think you have to let it go and put a primark one out next time she stays.

Unless the bin men are coming before you get back, you can fish it out and wash it.

Agree

Ok clearly it's lose lose for me now on this thread, this is what I meant about MIL's own insistence that we "must" take up their babysitting offers even when we don't really fancy it / it then feeling impossible to mention anything that we're uncomfortable with (and yep we need to work out if there was anything behind DS's accident!). Clearly should just have stayed home. I'm not sure FIL knows how to use a washing machine if I'm honest but maybe that's an easier conversation - the point of this thread was to check how reasonable opening up a conversation with her would be about either washing or replacing it or even just not doing it again, I've clearly not "been irate" to her in person/ on the phone, just they were my feeling last night when discussing with DH!

If you feel a bath mat is worth more than days of free babysitting, then fine, don't take her up on it again.

You would make her replace a new bath mat when she’s been house sitting and child minding ? Wow . It’s clear you don’t like her from your criticism of her .

Well, I'm sure she'll feel differently about that if you start whining about a bathmat. Maybe you could show her this thread? Job done.

All seems a lot of fuss about nothing..
Just fish the bag out of the bin when you get home, wash the mat, stick in some disinfectant and say nothing...
It's called life!

@AInightingale

i would have binned that to be fair.

I think it’s a massive overreaction, but luckily the bins haven’t been emptied.

When I worked in a nursery, a four year old had massive diarrhoea on a large sofa throw.
My manager told me to take it home to wash. I said no. She made a point of it. I said no. This went on for a week with the filthy item in a bin bag in the nursery kitchen.
Eventually it disappeared forever, but I became ‘unhelpful’ and ‘uncooperative’ and was given all the worst jobs and scary druggy parents.
I wonder what your mil would have done.

@FloralFantastic

just stay home Op. stay home forever. Problem solved 👍

@Marcipex

how disgusting. Well done you for standing your ground. Your manager should have took it home to wash if she was that bothered.

Op, I'm sure you have other bath mats. It really isn't a big deal and anyway you have retrieved the item and presumably washed it by now. Tell your PILs that if such a thing happens in future, you would prefer that it was washed; I'm sure they washed nappies in their day, it's no different, probably far less. Then let this one go.

Can’t people just have normal, everyday reactions and interactions to things and with people anymore? Why does everything in life have to be made so ridiculously dramatic nowadays?

It’s a bath mat. If that’s all you have to be ‘livid’ over you’re doing pretty well.

With silly minor things like this, I always think if that’s the worst thing that happened to me today then I’m lucky, you need to look at life as a broad picture and not stress over silly little aggravating incidents.
I’d take MIL a big bunch of flowers and say thank you, just be thankful to have such generous loving people in your children’s lives.

Yes, IKEA, well under a tenner.

Oh please, nasty mil insists you let them babysit and you're so reluctant to do so, you've gone away for multiple days?

Cop on, OP. Your more than happy to use them for babysitting and you let slip you actually want her to replace your mat that your kid pissed on in your house.

A laundry trough? Am I supposed to have one, has everyone else got one? It sounds like something out of a Magdalene Laundry.

Irate 😂

Livid? Wayyyyyyyy OTT

News to me about bath mats - mine are just very chunky cotton.