To be annoyed at DMIL for putting a wet towel in the dustbin?

[FloralFantastic]

DS peed on the bathmat this evening - the in laws were kindly babysitting. When we got home we were told that DMIL had thrown away the bathmat - in the outside bin, drenched with both water and pee. Rubbish won't be collected for another week. I was livid at 1) the wastefulness as would have just washed in, and 2) why on earth she'd put it in wet, as whilst I'm not gonna eat my dinner from my outside bin I'd also rather not needlessly invite bacteria and mould to it. She said she put it in a bin bag if that helps.

DH is telling me I'm being needlessly irate and should 'just' be grateful for the babysitters - thoughts?!

If you put wet towels on top of clothes and aren’t doing a wash soon then the clothes get and stay damp, which can get mildew.

I either wash towels from the towel rails and gather them all up or put them in a crate in the utility room until I have a load. Towels are washed seperatly on a hotter wash without fabric conditioner.

That's a good point. Given OP's thoughts on bacteria in a rubbish bin, perhaps she is a bit of a germafob and MIL thought she was doing the right thing by her.

I'm not sure what I'm more surprised by, the op's over-reaction or the army of poster who seem so keen to escalate this into a bigger thing? I'm beginning to think that some posters hang around trying to sow discord in other people's lives.

This wouldn't bother me.

And I don't have the best relationship with my MIL!

I do believe most people genuinely try their best however and sometimes make a decision that we may not, when under pressure.

I'd just let it go. It's not a big deal.

Not great but I wouldn’t cause sn argument, be grateful for the baby sitting. When they go go and get the bag and put it in the washing machine, wash your hands,

Everyone do things differently and that’s what happens when you leave kids with someone else

I feel this is a situation where there was no good choice for the MiL. I'm assuming it's never happened before, so she had no idea what your approach would be.

You don't have to spend much time on MN to know that some people would wash it, some people would be on here complaining that now their washing machine has had wee in it, they'll need to buy a new one! She wouldn't have known where you fall in the spectrum of "buy a new house, this one has wee in it" to "dry it on a radiator and we'll just reuse" so she went for a reasonably safe bet!

You both sound batshit in your own ways🤣
Just wash it - I'd even do that if it was just sitting on top of the other bags of rubbish, without it's seemingly inadequate bin bag. (Are you suggesting those white bags need to be double bagged before binnning?).
I would be a little bit worried that she made a fuss infront of DS. No evidence she did though.
Is your reaction, at all influenced by alcohol consumption?
I say all this as someone who suffered from contamination OCD for decades. Please rescue the bathmat!! And let it go.

How you reacted in an irate way before to her? I can’t believe you could get cross over something so insignificant.

I feel quite sorry for her.

I’m astonished that she threw it away! I’d just have rinsed it in the bath once DGC had finished, and then put it in front of the washer (in a bag if necessary) for a proper wash. It does seem a little….strange to throw something away that could be easily washed - but then, I’m old enough to have used Terry nappies.

I wouldn’t worry about the bin but what a strange thing to do! Why not just wash it?!

Exactly.

Absolutely no need for drama, you've completely over reacted. There is nothing to react to. The fact you've even bothered to start a thread on this is ridiculous.

OR

Don’t ‘talk’ to the woman who did OP a favour by babysitting and cleaning up after OP’s child. 🤦‍♀️

Oh god no.

No need to "talk" to MIL. FFS.

Well not unless you don't want any more free babysitting forever. I'd tell you to shove it.

I think you are over reacting - it can be easily replaced.

And why isn’t FIL getting any grief? He couldn’t have been the one who threw it away

Ok it's a fucking bathmat not the crown jewels.

Your just doing this because you want to be annoyed at her.

You know when your going to get this from your own daughter in-law.

Try and imagine your trying to help your daughter in-law and she throws a fit because you threw a bathmat away that was covered in wee because -Gasp- you were just trying to help her!

Surely the MIL wouldn’t be banned from seeing DGS just because she won’t babysit!

Babysitting is absolutely a privilege and not a right expected off grandparents and no one should be using their child as a weapon and threatening to cut contact completely if they don’t agree to babysit.
That’s awful.

And yes I would absolutely refuse to babysit if I gave up my evening to do so and the parent nitpicked about me putting a wet towel in an outside bin incase bacteria grew (even though it would have had nappies and sanitary towels etc in there for years).

I wouldn’t want my bath mat thrown away but the mould/bacteria argument is just ridiculous and sounds like OP is looking for problems.
Most people would know MIL did it out of kindness and not even mention it.

I can’t believe you would even consider criticising someone over something so minor, especially when they had done you a massive favour.

🤣

CoalTit · Today 04:52

Something similar happened in our family once; sister-in-law from a very wealthy background threw away towels that had mopped up kiddie vomit, to the amazement of the sisters-in-law from more humble backgrounds, one of whom was the owner of the towels. They talked about it for months afterwards.
I actually get your sil’s thought process- vomit different to pee in terms of just sticking it in the washing machine. I like the way you assume it’s just because she’s wealthy, it’s more likely there were chunks on it and a) she wasn’t willing to shake the particles into the bin or b) she was assuming she’d clog up the washing machine in which case it would be ‘wealthy sil broke our washing machine!’ 😅 Op like everyone else I’d say ‘what?’ but being angry seems very ott!!!

Was it a very expensive or special bathmat?

I would have been a bit irritated but would have kept it to myself. Just not with falling out over a bath mat.

I’d be slightly irked that she’d binned it rather than bagging it up and putting it next to the washing machine, but this thought would last approx five seconds and then I’d move on.

Yep!

And the fact that she’s pretended she’s worried about bacteria in an outside bin is very telling as she’s just looking for things to nitpick over.

I wonder how she gets rid of nappies or sanitary towels with actual human waste on them.

To then start a thread complaining about it says a lot about her.

Just get it out the bin ffs

If one of my GC had peed on the bathmat I'd have dumped it in the bath to be washed later. The idea of throwing away a dirty bathmat appalls me!

Where do wet towels go?