To be annoyed at DMIL for putting a wet towel in the dustbin?

[FloralFantastic]

DS peed on the bathmat this evening - the in laws were kindly babysitting. When we got home we were told that DMIL had thrown away the bathmat - in the outside bin, drenched with both water and pee. Rubbish won't be collected for another week. I was livid at 1) the wastefulness as would have just washed in, and 2) why on earth she'd put it in wet, as whilst I'm not gonna eat my dinner from my outside bin I'd also rather not needlessly invite bacteria and mould to it. She said she put it in a bin bag if that helps.

DH is telling me I'm being needlessly irate and should 'just' be grateful for the babysitters - thoughts?!

It isn’t what you would have done but to get so angry about it is just nasty. Poor woman.

It’s a slightly odd rewatching from someone who was being kind and helpful and who no longer routinely manages pissy towels. It’s an endearing story about granny - a woman who looks like a good candidate to have a loving relationship with any grandchildren. Generally I try to save ‘irate’ for stuff that matters and won’t damage relationships. Don’t expect people to do things your way. Embrace difference and enjoyment and gratitude and be happier.

I would be puzzled at her actions rather than irate.
I would wonder (for a few hours) why she wouldn’t want to simply wash the bath mat and re-use it as normal to save the expense of a new one. I would want to avoid it going to landfill, preferring to wash it and donate to charity. I give old towels and bath mats to the local dog rescue.
And I agree with you OP. Damp/wet towels are bad news and need to be aired or washed and dried asap, not put stinking in a plastic bag for days to generate more germs.

Agree with your dh. Unless there's a backstory about your mil (which we obviously don't know about), you just say 'no problem', inwardly roll your eyes and retrieve it if you feel the need.

Thank her for her kindness for babysitting. Go out and get the mat and put it in the wash. Stop fretting.

DH is telling me I'm being needlessly irate and should 'just' be grateful for the babysitters - he is right.

It isn't what I would have done but it's the kind of thing I'd just think was a bit weird and be a bit annoyed while retrieving it from the bin.

I would never mention it to someone who was clearly trying to do their best and didn't know what I would want done in the circumstances. People have different standards, I'd just let this one go.

if you don’t want to lose a bathmat, you may have to engage a professional babysitter for future outings.

Even if you did, there’s no guarantee that the babysitter wouldn’t do exactly the same thing! Yes, I would probably have bagged it up and put it by the washing machine, but everyone’s got their own way of dealing with unexpected occurrences! She must have thought it was for the best at the time.

I’m loving the idea of a special bathmat! Does anyone have sentimental attachment to a bathmat?

It’s a very weird thing to do, just assuming you’d throw it out rather than wash it like a normal person.

🤣🤣

I can't believe that you were so wound up by this that you felt the need to post. Was it a fancy pants bath mat from Harrods, steeped in sentimental value or something?

Fish it out of the bin, wash it and get on with your life, grateful that you have in-laws who will babysit and deal with toilet accidents.

What on earth did you do with years of DS's nappies - you know, those wet urine covered things - if not put them in the bin?

Irritated - YANBU as long as you made no more than one comment like I could have washed it.

YABVVU to be "irate" or to say anything more than one mild, polite, comment.

If you want free babysitting you accept it wont be exactly how you,d do it.

This. You sound v v precious.

These people clearly did a great job raising your DH. They love and look after your children for free.
They aren't perfect, who is!, but honestly there's no need for this level of angst.

Weird that she thought the solution was to bin it so I can understand you being mildly annoyed. Just get it out of the bin, un-bag and wash it on a hot wash. I wouldn’t dwell on it

Wet towels go over the ladder style radiator in the bathroom.

How odd to bin the bathmat. I’d just grab it out and wash it.

I think it's odd she binned it rather than just leave it in the bag but at least that means you can get it & wash it so really, no harm done at all!

I'd probably have just pushed it to the corner of the room for you to deal with!

YABU. It got soiled, she threw it out. It’s not that offensive. What would you have said if she’d left a urine soaked mat in your house. Not worth getting worked up over. The outside wet bacteria thing is silly.

Yes I’d be annoyed she just threw it away instead of just dumping it in the bathtub to be washed later, don’t care what goes in the bin though, that’s a bit weird.

I’m with your husband. It’s one thing. She does it differently to you. But she was in charge at the time. Kind of her to babysit/tidy etc hope you haven’t thrown your toys out with her and are just venting here as if you had I would recommend a backtrack

TBH it wouldn’t even have occurred to me to bin such a thing. WTF is a washing machine for? Would she also bin sheets if a child had wet itself during the night?

Yep, much ado about nothing, another MIL in trouble over nothing vaguely important, I feel sorry for your MIL!

Your MIL is weird. Does she have OCD as I can’t understand her bizarre behaviour otherwise?

Who throws away a wet bathmat rather than washing it??? 🤷🏻‍♀️
A towel is meant to soak up liquids and be washed afterwards.

I’ve had mice poo on towels (don’t ask!) and just washed them on a hot wash. They’re fine.

I’m assuming you’ve removed it from the bin and washed it now?

YABU - to be this bothered by it. It is funny more than anything - that you can have so much life experience and think this is the most logical thing to do with a wet bath mat with a bit of wee on it. Just take it out of the bin and wash it.

FIL would've done something this incompetent, or worse. PIL were babysitting at our house and the dog (thankfully a small one) did a poo. FIL decided the best thing to do was to pick it up with toilet paper (not a poo bag, of which there were many available) and squash it into the handle of the compost tumbler. MIL presumably thought this was the best approach too. PIL had a dog for 12 years. DC was taking a nap at this point and no one was outside - so he could've just left (we were only gone 1.5 hours) it but no...

No you let them dry first then put them in the laundry basket. Is your basket fabric? Mine is whcih is why I don’t put wet things in there.