To stop using Mumsnet for a while because of the constant negative comments about men?

[listsandbudgets]

I've just posted a thread about my missing (now turned up) friend. So many posters assuming that her DP was violent, controlling etc. etc.

Someone else posted about their DP getting a letter from child maintenance about a child he'd never met - again people slagging him of for "sowing his oats" implying he'd been violent and god knows what.

That's just 2 examples. There are some horrible men out there of course there are but it makes me so sad to see this constant underlying misandry here on mumsnet. Men our are sons, brothers, partners and fathers and the very vast majority of them are decent people - flawed perhaps, made some mistakes perhaps but that does not make them violent controlling etc. etc. it makes them human.

Please stop it mumsnet. Certainly attribute blame where it's genuinely due but stop making these awful assumptions it's unhelpful and nasty.

Signing off will be back in a few weeks to see whether or not things have improved - doubt it sadly

You do you @listsandbudgets I do find it hard to feel sorry for da menz though.

You won't stop using Mumsnet for a while though.... 😆

It's like The Eagles say in the song Hotel California...

"You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave"

I think there's been a "swing" too much the other way. Women who believe that feminism is about crapping on men from a great height/using men for their gain and then arguing it's because they can "do what they like."
For me, feminism isn't about that but about making things fairer.
Example: "Why should I work? I'm a SAHM to 3 school-age children because I have the freedom to do so. I also expect my husband to share the housework equally as well as work every hour under the sun because I have the right to choose not to work. I don't care he's feeling the constant pressure of being the sole earner." And so on...

It's appalling. It's unthinkable. It's grotesque.

One of the most insidious trends on the internet is how men who hate women are emboldened and encouraged by the incel/Andrew Tate culture, and how they can gather invisibly online. There an awful lot of men who actively hate women, and far too many men who don't stand up for women.

But I still think saying 80 out of every 85 men are rapists or only in a hundred men isn't an abuser is unhelpful in getting more men to stand up against rape and misogynist culture, which they need to - in numbers, vocally, visibly, publicly - if we are to make any progress against it.

Well, the gently gently approach to taming men hasn’t exactly been a raging success, has it?

No idea what you’re talking about tbh.

Women are in no position to ‘crap on men from a great height.’ Wondering what world you live in.

@OPsSockpuppet Yeah they do! Marry a wealthy man and take the absolute piss out of him!!

I'm not suggesting anything gently gently. I think we should be screaming with fucking rage about it.

@MasterBeth I agree. But the majority of women are still failing to recognise and challenge the patriarchy.
Just as one example, what percentage of women in the UK take their husband's name upon marriage and change their title to Mrs? I know it's incredibly high still.

But at the same time you’re suggesting we present statistics like those 80 men ever so carefully in case men think they are being cast as a disgusting sex class to be able to yield that many perverts ready and willing to rape an unconscious woman? Ok then.

In my experience, the least most men intrinsically expect is to come first, be listened to, taken seriously and have their preferences prioritised. It's deeply bred into them

This is such a red herring. The wealthy man could absolutely stop this happening very, very easily. He has the power and the money. The only reason a wealthy man will let this happen is… wait for it… sex!!

About as statistically significant as the women who falsely claim rape, I’d say - ie not significant at all.

I totally agree. A partner once said to me 'don't criticise me - men don't like being criticised'.

@Davros Agreed.
But as women we need to stop allowing them to behave like this.
As I say, the example of Mrs His Name is just one classic example where the vast majority of women still bow to the patriarchy.
Stop facilitating it!

@OPsSockpuppet And such women probably give sex so they can have a nice lifestyle without having to work.
Win-win I suppose but not challenging the patriarchy.

The one thing feminists hate more than men is a women who disagrees with them.

@Hateam May I ask...if you're married...are you a Mrs His Name?

Bye
Most men are shite. You're welcome

Not married.

' Women have no idea how much men hate them ' - Germaine Greer
She's not wrong

@Hateam And if you were, what would you go for? If you're not a Dr/Prof etc of course.

I would expect other women to respect my choice. Bit nieve of me really.

@Hateam I'd absolutely respect it but wouldn't necessarily agree with it. I think we have to stand up to the blindly accepted subservience expected by men. Becoming a Mrs His Name is bowing down.

Eh? But not all men ARE like that and it's absolutely OK to express such an opinion. The fact you disagree with that opinion is neither here nor there...

I'd be dead if it were not for my father and, after him, my husband. The same, however, cannot be said for my mother and sisters.

So I will absolutely keep saying that not all men are 'like that'. Because they're not.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/a-third-of-male-university-students-say-they-would-rape-a-woman-if-there-no-were-no-consequences-9978052.html

Not sure if this is the college student rapists research. I remember there being an Australian one, too, with similar results, but I might be mixing them up.

You would judge me negatively though. That much is clear. You feel that women who do this are letting the side down.