To stop using Mumsnet for a while because of the constant negative comments about men?

[listsandbudgets]

I've just posted a thread about my missing (now turned up) friend. So many posters assuming that her DP was violent, controlling etc. etc.

Someone else posted about their DP getting a letter from child maintenance about a child he'd never met - again people slagging him of for "sowing his oats" implying he'd been violent and god knows what.

That's just 2 examples. There are some horrible men out there of course there are but it makes me so sad to see this constant underlying misandry here on mumsnet. Men our are sons, brothers, partners and fathers and the very vast majority of them are decent people - flawed perhaps, made some mistakes perhaps but that does not make them violent controlling etc. etc. it makes them human.

Please stop it mumsnet. Certainly attribute blame where it's genuinely due but stop making these awful assumptions it's unhelpful and nasty.

Signing off will be back in a few weeks to see whether or not things have improved - doubt it sadly

It's defunct now but you've clearly never been on bodybuilding.com miscellaneous/relationships forum.

If you think this is sexist; you'd have needed sectioned after reading on there.

The internet is also chock full of "red pill", incel , MRA, mgtow, manosphere etc. forums.

With men talking about how women should be rounded up and put in a form of concentration camps for fucking, reproduction, slavery or death.

About how women should never have been given the vote, about how women are all spoilt children who can't be let to be responsible for decision making about anything, about how women should not do jury service, about how women getting "power" has destroyed western societies.

A famous red pill/Mra figure called Roosh V opined very forcefully that rape should be legal/not illegal in any private premises. So if a woman entered a private space with a man, she should know she was implicitly agreeing to sex, and she should never ever be alone with a man if she didn't.

Andrew Tate has a gigantic following - a young man who liked to boast about injuring women in physical alterations, about pimping out women, who's been arrested for sex trafficking and sex offences. One of his exes says he strangled her til blood vessels burst in her eyes..... As I said, he has a huge following.

Our politicians joke about drugging and sexually assaulting their partners.

I can't even look at a video of funny things happening at the horse guards gates on YouTube, without seeing comments by men below (referring to the female guards) like "We used to have men on horses on guard; now we have lesbians on ponies".

The rapists and sex offenders in our society get laughably light sentences.

I could go on indefinitely.

The back lash among men against women's rights and the changes in the last 50 odd years have been violent, extreme and pervasive.

So really, if you haven't been anywhere as sexist as here ..... You couldn't have been many places online. You lead a very sheltered online life.

Could you post a link to that. I'd like to read it.

Thanks

It stands out to me because I read that question daily. My DH does his fair share around the house although I’m not sure why that’s relevant?
And you’ve just proved my point by asking that

This.

That's true, glad we agree on that. And i hope they will stay.

Spot on sprigatito !
OP is looking in the wrong place for praise of good men, of which there aren't anywhere near enough.

Here are the list of people most hated on Mumsnet:

Men
Women
SAHMs
Working mums
MILs
DILs
Dog owners
People who don't like dogs
Etc

See a pattern?

Look at the prison population. That's all the evidence you need.

@himyf - the redoubtable Dr. Germaine Greer had this all laid out for us years ago, your words echoing her reasoning.

There's a forum out there for men to review sex workers. If you genuinely think that Mumsnet is the most sexist place you've ever been you should read what these men write about their wives.

Lolcow? 4chan? The depths of the Internet are deeply unpleasant. Im not sure if you are just completely naive to the deep hatred many men have for women or willfully ignorant but no man is going to defend you the way you are defending them here

I’m wondering if that is being confused with the Edward’s study.

‘Specifically, Edwards et al (2014) asked their 86 male participants to fill out part of the "attraction to sexual aggression" scale (Malamuth, 1989). On this scale, participants are asked to indicate, from 1 to 5, how likely they would be to engage in a variety of behaviors, with a "1" corresponding to "not likely at all," while "5" corresponds to "very likely." Included on this scale are two questions, one concerning whether the respondent would "rape" a woman, and another asking about whether he would "force her to do something she did not want to do" in a sexual setting. The participants in question were asked about their likelihood of engaging in such behaviors "if nobody would ever know and there wouldn't be any consequences." Edwards et al (2014) report that, if such criteria were met, 31% of the men would force a woman to do something sexually, whereas 13% would rape a woman.’

Of course the vast majority of people are decent and nice.

It's nice that you believe that.

There is, indeed, a very loud minority that goes around assuming everyone is a horrible serial killer

"Not decent" ....... 'a horrible serial killer"
Ever heard of hyperbole?

(And are there any non horrible serial killers?)

I sometimes have felt this is true. It may be down to the stories that come up here. The worse type of man stories ever.

No one has mentioned the rap/pers yet - some of the fantasies are shocking -
this is played in the street, in stores, in adolescents bedrooms, crude sexual violence, bitches, ho’s, the subliminal effect brainwashing, the results apparent, the connection
ignored.

I’m really heartened by this thread. It shows that the majority of women on here have a realistic grasp of the statistics on the risk that men as a sex class pose.

I often want to leave this forum for the sheer amount of internalised misogyny that leads women becoming apologists for male behaviour. Funnily enough, never for the 'negative comments about men'. OP have a ponder on why there are so many negative comments about men. Wonder what it is about them that makes women need a forum to gain support from other women about the issues they cause.

I'm sorry you feel this way :(
All of the men in my life are decent people so I would have to disagree.

In the appalling, disgusting, inhuman Pellicot case, her husband invited 85 men in an illicit and unmoderated chat site implicated in killings, child sexual abuse and homophobic attacks. It wasn't just 85 random guys, it was 85 twisted sick fucks gathering in a twisted sick place.

If you work in Family Law, you will naturally be exposed to lots of terrible abusive men.

However, I'd like to know how you arrive at your 1 in 100 "good men" figure. That's not my experience.

Not to mention step mothers and childfree women.

How do you know they're decent people? Do you know their innermost thoughts? Sorry to burst your bubble but the majority (if not all) of the men in your life will watch porn. Exploitative porn. And a proportion of that will be violent porn.

While that may be true, it’s not that much better, is it? And can you imagine 85 similar women coming out of the woodwork? I can’t.

Nope, id still choose the bear.

Statistically I'd be better off. Not "according to mumsnet posts I'd be better off," statistically and factually I'd be better off.

And people who voted for Brexit, and have the audacity to worry about all the boats coming over the channel.

Overweight people are also loathed by some on MN.