To stop using Mumsnet for a while because of the constant negative comments about men?

[listsandbudgets]

I've just posted a thread about my missing (now turned up) friend. So many posters assuming that her DP was violent, controlling etc. etc.

Someone else posted about their DP getting a letter from child maintenance about a child he'd never met - again people slagging him of for "sowing his oats" implying he'd been violent and god knows what.

That's just 2 examples. There are some horrible men out there of course there are but it makes me so sad to see this constant underlying misandry here on mumsnet. Men our are sons, brothers, partners and fathers and the very vast majority of them are decent people - flawed perhaps, made some mistakes perhaps but that does not make them violent controlling etc. etc. it makes them human.

Please stop it mumsnet. Certainly attribute blame where it's genuinely due but stop making these awful assumptions it's unhelpful and nasty.

Signing off will be back in a few weeks to see whether or not things have improved - doubt it sadly

I have to agree that lots of men are not nice people.

But the majority of men are nice people

It's internalised misogyny to disagree with them you know!

@Jumpingthruhoops Absolutely. My mum and her 4 siblings were raised solely by their father when their mum one day got up and walked out on them all for another man. This was in the 60s/ early 70s so highly unusual. He worked several jobs just to put food on the table because back then there was no CMS or anything like that.
I remember vividly one of the last conversations I had with him before he passed at 92. I told him I was leaving my ex-husband and explained just a little of the years of horrific coercive control I'd been put through.
His response?
"Good for you, my girl. Nobody should ever put up with being told what to do. You deserve someone who respects you."
He is one of the most inspirational men I have ever met and one I was incredibly proud to call my grandfather.
Not all men are bastards.

@Hateam I wouldn't judge you. But if you asked me for my opinion I would disagree with your choice. You may well "judge" me for being a married Ms My Name. I couldn't care less tbh.

Flounce off by all means. There's no obligation to stay. I hope all those men appreciate your solo protest.

Are you married?

@Hateam Yes.

The sarcasm really isn't necessary or appropriate.

Gary who is respectful of others isn't especially responsible for the actions of John who is a domestic abuser, or Mark who is a cock-lodger. He doesn't have any special power to change those people either.

Men like Gary are not generally going around supporting or condoning any of that behaviour and will oppose accepting it socially and legally just as much as women do.

Is your husband a decent man?

@Hateam He's amazing. Wouldn't have married him if he wasn't.

Lots of men are.

@Hateam I agree with you on that one.
I've had some beyond horrific experiences with men - with one man in particular - but I never for one second then thought all men are evil.

Is your man trustworthy OP? I doubt it

How do you figure that? Out in the wilderness with one strange bear, vs one strange man?

It would depend on the type of bear, but if it were a grizzly or polar bear you would be in real danger.

@FailureAndSuicide Is yours?!!

I see your claim of misandry, and I raise you misanthropy!

I'm single.

There’s an awful lot of projecting here on MN. What bothers me is that some posters come for little boys. 5yo boys who are labelled abusive and misogynistic because they pushed their lickle princess in the playground, because ya know, they’re kids.

Okay, now explain away the surveys and find a similar gathering of female sick fucks.

Not really so much of a "gathering," but there is an epidemic of influencers on social media forcing their kids to endure horrible things for content (doing multiple coordinated dances per day, living piled on top of each other in a van, being recorded crying after their dog passed away, etc)and plastering them all over the internet without their informed consent, which will be on there forever. There are even mums who are vaguely s*xualizing their infants and posting to get money from paedophilic followers.

There are bad people of both genders.

I have no words for how brain dead that comparison is.

Funny that, eh.

Hahahahaha 😂

This

There are rape and sexual assault victims on here as well as women who have suffered domestic violence. Women who have children who have been sexually or physically abused.

This is our safe space. Read the room.

Well, it’s abuse (and often sexualization) of numerous children that will last as long as the internet does, compared to a multitude of finite rapes on a single adult… Both are pretty heinous. I don’t really see any purpose in trying to say one gender is worse than the other in this way. Evil is evil.