To stop using Mumsnet for a while because of the constant negative comments about men?

[listsandbudgets]

I've just posted a thread about my missing (now turned up) friend. So many posters assuming that her DP was violent, controlling etc. etc.

Someone else posted about their DP getting a letter from child maintenance about a child he'd never met - again people slagging him of for "sowing his oats" implying he'd been violent and god knows what.

That's just 2 examples. There are some horrible men out there of course there are but it makes me so sad to see this constant underlying misandry here on mumsnet. Men our are sons, brothers, partners and fathers and the very vast majority of them are decent people - flawed perhaps, made some mistakes perhaps but that does not make them violent controlling etc. etc. it makes them human.

Please stop it mumsnet. Certainly attribute blame where it's genuinely due but stop making these awful assumptions it's unhelpful and nasty.

Signing off will be back in a few weeks to see whether or not things have improved - doubt it sadly

Have you been to Netmums OP? It's a much more fluffier place for you 😁

😂

The replies on this post has given me some hope 🙏❤️

Internalised misogyny makes them have hurty feelings when a poor man is slagged off. So they’d rather become handmaids and burn women than go against their masters and feel sad about it. 🙄

You know most men dont give a fuck about you? go to any male dominated forum, they are not defending you or flouncing off in your honour.

So, bye bye.

do posters understand how the youtube algorithm works - it picks up viewing selections -

on my feed I now have a video of a 75 year old American lady called Linda,
who 2 years ago was raped, beaten sodomised by her neighbour who broke
into her house in the early hours when she was fast asleep, threatened her at gunpoint, bit her etc etc., threatened to kill her and her family if she told anyone.
He is now serving a 27 year jail sentence. They do it because they can.

Most men are not decent.
Most men ride on the low standards that society sets for them and hide the misogyny from their women.
Too often the men found speaking out on women’s sides and identifying as feminists turn out to be predatory.
Men at work in a male environment are different to men working with women. Women are barely human to most of them when they’re comparing legs tits and arses. The majority I’ve worked with join in with misogynist banter, even the decent family men.

All women know someone who was raped or assaulted. No men know a rapist. Says a lot about their attitudes. Bro code. Sadly many women spend their lives defending mediocre men.

The default parent in a family is nearly always their mother. I’ve yet to meet a family where the husband pulls his weight with childcare and family life. I’ve met plenty who claim to be 50:50 with childcare, but in reality they’re rarely more than 30:70, even when both work.

Of course there are decent men, but the majority? Ha, I don’t think so!

Men are not scum, I’m not a man hater, but when you see reality you can’t put it back in the box.

Absolutely. Anyone who says mn is the most sexist awful place needs to go over to reddit and 4chan or whatever they are now or any male dominated forum. There is no way on earth mn is worse than those places. The stuff that gets said by men about women is chilling. Mn is not worse than that. You only need to read to realise that.
I feel like it's perceived to be worse because women are supposed to be nice and kind whereas that is not expected from men.

I’m just relieved I don’t know people like this in real life and you can get genuine helpful advice instead of typical Mumsnet fashion… ‘LTB’

I agree

Every thread I read there’s always someone asking how much housework the DH does. Doesn’t matter what the threads about it’s always asked

Also I’ll point out that some people on here are absolutely vile to other women, not just men

Well said

Actually on your previous post you would find that there was quite a lot of women saying don’t be hysterical. Doesn’t mean to say the husband has done everything so you will find that there was a lot of women who didn’t jump to the conclusion that you’re friends‘s husband had done something.
I just thought it was a little bit suspicious as to why she wasn’t able to speak to you straight away but I was corrected that was fine. I don’t think all men are bad at all but you can see though with women going missing why people might jump to a conclusion.

So much irony on a forum of (mainly) women belittling and bullying other women.

If mumsnet is the meanest website on the Internet then the good news is there's tons of alternative websites out there. Off you pop and go and post on them instead. No one is forcing you to stay. Stop wasting your time on a website you think is full of meanies.

Op this forum is for women and therefore a space for us to discuss what we need/want.

Why are you trying to shut that down?

If our experiences offend you, look to the men whose behaviour was behind that.

When you consider the sheer damage some, not all, men cause then I don’t think it’s surprising.

I know a great deal of truly brilliant men, but they definitely don’t need you to defend them op….

The hyperbole is real. Well might as well run with it, because now I’m curious why this stands out so much to you that you think it’s that common. How much housework does your DH do, @Coconutter24 ?

Well clearly that isn't true, otherwise threads would look like Swiss cheese from the deletions, wouldn't they? Any bullying can be reported and posts will be removed (they are very zealous about this I've found). I'm assuming you are reporting all these instances of bullying?
There is a lot of irony though, that I'll grant you. But as far as I know that's allowed.

I wonder if any men go on 4chan and post "Stop being mean about women. I'm signing off but will be back in a few weeks to see whether or not things have improved."

No one’s saying they’re not entitled to be here, are they? Just asking why they’re here if they find it so intolerable.

If you go on a tiktok every single video of a woman will be filled with vile, misogynistic comments from men. Newspaper articles about women will be filled with again misogynistic comments on the women's looks, how she's a bop, or she's unfuckable etc. Social media is literally filled with misogyny

And that's without going to a traditionally male dominated forum like reddit. My experience with men tells me that the majority are not decent. My entire daily experience is filled with negative experiences with men.

I really don't think thar suspecting a woman who's gone missing for 4 hrs may have been a victim of domestic violence is that big of a leap. Its maybe a bit excessive but its not completely wild, DV is common

Obviously as a man, no it wouldn't be nice to read constant negative comments about men but I feel as a woman that's my experience online, bar forums like MN. And that's not womens fault

It's a bit arrogant to think everyone will start being kind because you've told us off and flounced for a few weeks. Good luck with it anyway when you check back to see if we're behaving ourselves after your dressing down.

I wish I had discovered Mumsnet many years ago - I certainly wouldn't have put up with so much shitty behaviour if I had known how other women would view it. My life is much better now because of MN. Thank you! I feel that the rather extreme and silly misandry you sometimes see on threads is a small price to pay for the amount of good done to women who are being abused. This is a wonderful safe female space. The Gisele Pelicot case has shone a terrible light on male behaviour and it's not possible any longer to repeat NAMALT for comfort.

I specialise in Family Law - the vast majority of men are NOT decent. I know there are some good men out there, but I'm not deluded, and I'm not going to pretend. For every 1 decent man, there are 100 abusers ready and waiting.