DH talking about divorce over air fryer

[booklady1990]

Just had a really disappointing chat with DH tonight. I want to borrow an airfryer for our babyshower next weekend and he just didn't seem interested at all, and even brought up divorce! AIBU to be upset by this?? not sure why its gone bold

Lol. I don’t have an airfryer. But I have a husband. I don’t have any use for this kind offer. Two husbands really would send me over the edge…

But in all seriousness op, what happened. Are you ok. Because this isn’t a normal thing to say and you’re pregnant so more vulnerable right now. Is he normally demanding / controlling?

😂 mine certainly is. I ditched the ex, not the air fryer.

Is an air fryer the latest must have at a baby shower.

You can Always upgrade a air fryer

He should watch the divorce threats. My exH used to threaten divorce all the time over not getting what he wanted. So one day I locked him out of my house and we got one.
Threatening divorce is a hateful way to live.

OP! Apparently there’s another husband on offer here on mumsnet - be careful though, he might walk home and leave you throwing a tantrum on a kerb

Seriously though, if someone threatens you with divorce, take them up on it. You’ll see that 9 times out of 10, he’ll tuck tail and panic. Personally, I’d borrow the air fryer and put the divorce papers in the tray, ask him to open it, and then be standing behind him with his bags (unpacked obviously, he can do that himself)

had you discussed cooking part of his anatomy in the air fryer?

Seems like a deeper issue. Maybe communicate and try to find out what his real issue with you is..

🤣🤣🤣

Reassure him that you'll put it in the utility room so people don't have to see it

“Seriously enough,” making light of another woman’s distress isn’t funny.

Ha ha. - and such deals are now appearing as pop up ads on this thread

This is actually good advice. OP, YANBU. My (current) DH threatens divorce all the time over everything, and it probably only started at your stage, when I had a toddler and one on the way. In fact I'm pretty sure that's when it began- partway through a house extension on the way to a kitchen design appointment which ended with him screaming obscenities at me from the car window as he drove off leaving me in Wickes car park because I'd taken too long grabbing him something for breakfast- sigh...
Anyway, the point is I spent years panicking, pandering, reassuring him, persuading him to come back after every threat and disappearing act. Got me nowhere at all - lately I've emotionally detached and genuinely mean it that he's welcome to go, and lo and behold he's stopped saying it. As much.
Dont take him seriously, don't give this horrible manipulation any oxygen - just say get on with it then if you think so little of yourself that you feel replaced by an air fryer - the three of us plus AF will do just fine.
It really is a shitty way to behave and it does not bode well - you could tell him you've heard about this famous tactic and it's totally shitty, don't bother trying that again etc.
Hope that's his first and last attempt

This.

Isn't a baby shower normally an all women affair sometimes given by the woman's friends before the birth of her first child?

Could DH be envious of you all eating air-fried food??

DIVORCE talk is never kind; how unsettling and unfair.

Did he threaten divorce because you want to borrow the air fryer? Seems unlikely.

Or did he threaten divorce because of the way you reacted to the fact he wasn't all that interested?

Honestly, he's probably not all that interested in the baby shower and the organisation that goes into it. Baby showers are usually for the mother to be, not the father. I'm a woman and have no interest in baby showers and would have to feign interest over someone borrowing an air fryer for one.

It isn't ok to threaten divorce, but maybe you need to look at how and what you communicate to each other.

My ex is suspected autistic and he would tell me everything (including things about programs he'd watched on the discovery channel) in a stupid level of detail that I had no need for or interest in. It wouldn't matter what my day had been like, it wouldn't matter if I was just in the door from work and just needed some time to decompress. I would get a monologue and if I asked him to tell me later, he would say 'oh just one more thing' and keep going for forever. So maybe I'm a bit oversensitive to partners talking about stuff that is irrelevant. It's really tiring, and was very much a factor in us splitting. I'm not saying you are at that level, I'm just explaining why I've answered the way I have

One thing's for sure, if he's hurling around threats of divorce in any context, an air fryer is the very least of your concerns.

This reads like a challenge. Try and come up with something for AIBU and you must fit in: (rolls dice) - baby showers and air fryers.

What I really want to know is are air fryers really that good?
They take up a lot of room on the kitchen worktop and I only have a small kitchen. That's my concern.
But if they're as good as everyone says they are then I think I'd maybe compromise.
Is the appeal that they make food taste better or that they're fast food?

Are you pregnant and drunk?

This

This sounds like an episode of Family Guy - are we really supposed to believe that the reason he wants to divorce you is because you borrowed an air fryer?

It is when shes a 50 year old woman lying on the pavement having a tantrum because she told her husband to leave her alone and he left her alone. how can anyone take her seriously if she’s going to behave in an incredibly unserious manner.

Funny that all the adverts on this thread are for air fryers on black Friday!
Although I have 3 so don't need another yet!

OP LTB.

100% worth it. I very rarely turn the oven on these days. Speeds up cooking time considerably, everything is always evenly cooked and appropriately crispy and you don’t have to preheat.